by Beatrix Potter
In this busy world, filled with constant distractions, it is rare to feel that we are ever truly being listened to and valued when we speak. True attentiveness is an uncommon occurence in today’s world. Yet, when we give someone our fullest attention and mindfully listen to them, we are able to show them that we not only care, but also value what they have to say. In order to develop these moments of deep connection and togetherness, we first need to learn how to actively listen.
Reconnect With Others
It’s easy to let everyday life become almost automated. We enter a situation, such as going for coffee with a friend or dinner with a loved one, and we settle into a familiar routine. After all, we’ve been in this moment before, haven’t we? Our brain simply slips into the habit of thinking, “I’ve done this before. I’ll just do the same thing I did last time.” The problem is that this prevents us from being truly present in the moment and from engaging with our friends and family in an authentic way.
When I stopped treating every situation as a re-run of one I’d already done before and, instead, started treating each situation as new, I found a dramatic change took place. Suddenly, familiar moments that would have been monotonous or even boring, came alive. By simply engaging in active and mindful listening, I found that each moment became fresh and unique. Even familiar activities I’d done before, with the same people, took on a new lease of life. The result? I was able to connect much more with the people who matter most in my life.
The Importance Of Mindful Listening
Truly listening to another person means that you need to be prepared to give up any preconceived ideas or judgments you may have had. You need to allow space to be created in order for you to be able to truly listen to what is being said.
I used to find myself listening to the start of a sentence or story told by a friend, only to find I zoned out mid-way through. I was still hearing the words they were saying, but I wasn’t really listening to them anymore. Instead, my brain was jumping to conclusions. I was allowing preconceived notions within me – of similar situations, as well as what I knew of my friends – to influence what I was hearing them say. Before they had even finished their story, I was already forming a judgment or opinion of the situation. This wasn’t a conscious choice. Yet, once I started trying to mindfully listen to others, I became aware of how quickly this habit kicked in and how it clouded everything I heard.
Mindful listening requires us to be aware of ourselves and our own minds. We need to begin by being aware of our own inner voices. Only once we are able to master our own inner voices, learn how to quieten them and begin to create space for the voice of others to fully engage with us, will we be able to successfully practice mindful listening.
Being physically present in the moment is not enough. You need to choose and be willing to truly listen to the other person. Mindful listening requires us to show respect and genuine interest and curiosity in what the other person is saying to us.
It’s not often that we give such attentiveness to others nowadays, which is why mindful listening can really and truly help to deepen your relationships with others. Actively listening to another person will help them to feel valued. In return, they will be more likely to reciprocate and listen to you more closely too. Although it takes practice, being willing to give your focus completely to another and to share their stories and be present in that moment with them is a truly rewarding experience for both of you.
Even more importantly perhaps, by truly listening to another person you will be able to pick up subtle cues that you may have missed otherwise. As well as helping you to understand more fully how to act in the moment, it can also signal when it is best not to act or speak.
I realized quite quickly that I often interrupted others unnecessarily, whether to ask them a question or to share an opinion. It was yet another example of me not being mentally present in the moment and not giving the other person the space and respect they needed to express themselves fully. Rather than actively listening, I was only playing the role of the listener.
How To Practice Mindful Listening
Making the decision to engage in mindful listening is the first step. It shows that you have a willingness and a desire to connect with others more deeply.
Learn To Listen To Yourself
The first person you need to learn to listen to more mindfully is yourself. Take some time every day to quieten down and listen to yourself. Really take your time and pay attention to your inner voices. It can be daunting to start with, but being self-aware will greatly help you in becoming a better listener to others too. Try listening to yourself in a range of situations, such as when you are in the midst of action or in a busy location such as a shop or café, as well as when you are alone. Check in with yourself when you are meditating, making a cup of tea or when you are out for a walk or a run.
Use The Breath To Focus Your Attention
The breath is a key component of much meditation and mindfulness-based practices. Focusing on your breath allows you to return to the basic connection with the world. As we inhale and exhale, we are reminded that we are all interconnected with one another and with nature. I find this technique particularly helpful if I notice my attention wandering when I am listening to another person. I take a few seconds to focus on my breath and allow myself to become grounded and reconnected to the person I am listening to.
Give Others Your Undivided Attention
Fully engaging and showing care, love and compassion for others requires us to listen fully. By actively listening to others we are able to hear the truth and as a result, are able to undertake the most appropriate response to the situation. Make sure that you are really focused on what the other person is saying when they talk and give them your undivided attention.
Create Genuine Connections With Others
Learning to mindfully listen is an extremely powerful and rewarding practice to engage in. Engaging in genuine listening allows us to connect with others in a more meaningful and authentic way. It allows you to actively demonstrate your care and love for another and will enable you to build more meaningful and truthful relationships with others. By giving your fullest attention to another, they will want to give their fullest attention to you in return. This simple act of mindfully listening is one of the most precious gifts that we can offer to the ones we care about most.
Beatrix Potter is a successful wellness writer at Assignment Writing Service and Academized.com writing services. As well as practicing mindful techniques herself, Beatrix enjoys writing about the benefits and practice of mindfulness. She likes to share her experiences with others in order to inspire them and help them to develop their own practice. Beatrix also works as an online editor at Paper Writing Service website.
Latest posts by Admin (see all)
- Poetry as Mindfulness - January 15, 2021
- How Mindfulness Stopped Me From Over-thinking My Life - December 12, 2020
- Give The Gift Of Compassion This Holiday Season With Co-Mindfulness - December 7, 2020