It’s true to say that I never went looking for Mindfulness, as such. It found me.
It was back in 2008. I had settled back home in the Midlands after a crazy year of travelling as a freelance performing artist, and I was applying for a new job.
The position I was applying for was ‘Healthy Living Officer’ for deaf people. A doddle, I thought, given my knowledge and keen interest in nutrition and fitness. Attending the interview, my employer explained that a compulsory element of the position was that I must be willing to be trained as a mindfulness practitioner.
I was asked if I knew anything about it. Mindfulness…hmm. Scrambling at my photographic memory, I recalled pages from a Yoga book and began to waffle on about ‘living in the moment,’ and breathing techniques. In truth, I had no idea what I was talking about but as my employer smiled back, I felt quietly confident that I’d got away with it.
I was offered the position in May and began my intensive training as a Mindfulness Practitioner just three months later. A tutor from Mindfulness Scotland flew down each week to deliver the sessions and as I opened myself up to the contents of the course and practised what I was learning, I found myself feeling extremely grateful for the opportunity to be immersed in Mindfulness.
Because in all honesty, I needed it.
One of the main reasons for me settling back home and reducing all of my Performing Arts jobs was that at the young age of 22, I suffered a period of what I would call ‘burn out.’
I had been pouring myself into four different jobs across the country, often travelling 300 miles a day three days a week and I was exhausted. In every sense. I couldn’t see it at the time but I had been ignoring every possible sign my body had been giving me to slow down.
By being introduced to Mindfulness, I was able to see how I’d lived most of my life feeling constantly driven. Pushed on to achieve with ‘no rest for the wicked,’ I’d forgotten how to be gentle with myself. The concepts of compassion and self-acceptance were alien to me back then.
Similarly, I always felt unable to ‘switch off.’ When I wasn’t working, I was lost in my head, planning, reflecting or anticipating events yet to come. I never felt as though what I had or what I was doing was ‘enough.’ Hence the overly-ambitious and hardworking nature.
But what Mindfulness offered me was the ability to see clearly, for the first time, how I was really living my life. And in order to accept this and cultivate positive change, I learnt how to go easy on myself and how to be my own best friend – something that I’d never ever considered.
Back then I thought life was supposed to be hard and tiring. I believed you only deserved good when you had achieved something remarkable or worked yourself to the ground. But Mindfulness showed me that thoughts are just thoughts. I no longer had to believe the flawed thoughts I had, or better still – be controlled by them. I could let them go and choose a different way.
Mindfulness also reminded me of the simple pleasures in life. I was introduced to the concept of a beginner’s mind, a way of living that children naturally inhabit – so alert, curious, and engaged in the world around them. I felt as if I was seeing the world around me for the first time in a long time!
Nowadays, practising Mindfulness can be as straightforward as allowing myself to quietly enjoy a cup of tea while abandoning all thoughts of work. I can draw myself out of my head and back into my body at any time, welcoming the peace and quiet that can always be found in the present moment.
I’m also much better now at diverting my attention away from frightening thoughts. I’m much more aware of when I’m wandering down ‘what if’ lane or indulging in negative reflections. And it’s this awareness that gives me the option of choosing alternatively.
But while it’s true that while Mindfulness is simple, it isn’t always easy. Even now – after I’ve taught and spoken about mindfulness for five years – there are still times where I ‘forget’. But I am much better at remembering. And I’m far more easier on myself. I’m only human, after all.
I would say the greatest gift Mindfulness has given me is self-compassion. By ‘meeting myself at my own front door’ and becoming my greatest friend, I’ve found that life feels a lot easier than it used to. I’m a lot kinder to myself, choosing kinder thoughts and behaving in a way that makes me feel good. I don’t have to battle with my over-active mind or ambitions anymore. I can accept myself as I am, exactly as I am – in this moment.
I love sharing these Mindful revelations with others, and I feel very blessed to work in an area that I believe in and have benefitted from personally. Being fluent in sign language means I am also able to share these methods with Deaf and hard of hearing people and begin to make Mindfulness much more accessible.
Wishing all of my readers much love and self-compassion as they continue their own Mindfulness journey. Go easy on yourself.
By Rebecca
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I really found this post hit home for me. I can certainly relate to the non-stop attachment to the daily grind. It’s hard to pull yourself out and give yourself a breather. Mindfulness has also helped me to open my eyes and take a look around. And yes, I find it’s not always easy to keep awareness and mindfulness in mind when facing challenges. But mindful practice always helps restore a little more balance than before. It’s always a good direction to strike out in, no matter the circumstance. It’s definitely not easy. But it’s worth it. Thanks for sharing your story! It was lovely to read.
Wow, that’s what I was exploring for, what a material!
existing here at this blog, thanks admin of this website.