How Mindfulness Changed my Perspective of Work

by Chloe Clarkson

The office is quiet. For the first time this year I’ve stayed late, determined to complete my last tasks of the day. There is much to do but I am content, and I will not be staying too long. I am staying in because I want to.

A couple of years ago, the scene was very different. My nails dug deep into my hands as I would stay behind after paid working hours, day in, day out, in a failing attempt to fulfil my employee’s impossible demands. I would be verbally harassed on an hourly basis by my manager and my colleagues and would often find personal items missing from my desk, including a photo of my mother. This heavy atmosphere assaulted my routine for many years and drained into my daily life. I never looked forward to anything – in fact, I couldn’t even visualize a future. I was at least somewhat aware that my situation wasn’t good, but I was afraid of the shame of letting my family down and I was acutely aware of how much they depended on me.

The worst moment was when I looked at my employee’s policy and realized they would give a good amount of money to my family and children if I were to pass away. We were in big financial trouble, as we had inherited debt from my parents’ divorce and needed a large income to save the family home and prevent my mother, my partner and my children from being homeless. If I were to die, the money I would have received would have been enough to save the house.

Mindfulness isn’t just a healthy attitude or way of life for me, it is the very reason why I am alive and typing this guest post today. Mindfulness is something so important, I would suggest it would rank as highly as a basic need. If we are not mindful, if we do not take time to self-reflect and pause in our daily lives, we can allow ourselves to become slaves to torturous situations that are literally killing us on the inside.

Luckily I was fortunate enough to know that mindfulness would become a positive step forward. It was very difficult to adopt a mindful routine at first and required a lot of personal willpower and discipline to overcome my fear of self-reflection and reality. My fears had almost become a tangible, physical object that felt as it if it fought against me on a day to day basis. I knew I had to let go of my pride and fear in order to get through the block. I had to make the decision to use the wisdom of mindfulness I had gained in my younger years.

I first learnt about mindfulness during my university years, when I visited several Buddhist monasteries as part of my study of religion degree. I was incredibly curious, but that was about it. Inside I was an impulsive person who lived on an emotional rollercoaster. As part of my course I would stick to the schedule each monastery offered and would engage in every activity that was available for me to participate in. It so happened that many of the monasteries I visited belonged to the Thai Forest branch of the Theravada tradition.

It was these monasteries in particular which seemed to speak to me the most. Each day we would wake up at a very early time in the day to meditate in a small room with a dull light and a single stick of incense. We would sit in a comfortable but formal position with a straight back and crossed legs. I quickly became aware of my breathing and, at first, I kept my breathing silent so not to disturb the monks or the nun. Over time, I learnt to relax and be ‘one with’ my breathing. After the morning meditation we would remain quiet while doing chores, all the way through to breakfast, when we would politely chat. Afterwards we would be assigned work outside, often planting and caring for the local woodland. We would then meditate in the evening, again with a single stick of incense. Both scheduled meditations would last an hour. As time went on, we would do other types of meditation, including walking meditation, throughout the day. I had never known such a meditation existed. I found it awkward at first, especially when there was other people around me. But after some time I became surprised to see how effective it was for me. I learnt how to make the most of both types of meditation and realized that it brought a great deal of calm to me. Many of the monks I met were very wise and kindly approachable and the nuns also gave me a great deal of wisdom. To this day I truly respect those who told me the truth. I needed to slow down and be mindful.

Still, it took me many years later to put into practice what I had already learnt. A couple of years ago I was working for a national charity. I initially believed that by working for an organisation that had a noble goal to help others, I would be in a good working environment and get along with my employers. This certainly wasn’t the case and I ended up being unfairly dismissed. I had no energy to dispute the claim. Part of my resistance to adopting mindfulness, especially during my depression, was that I thought mindfulness could not go in hand with a good, ethically-sound career. I was shocked at how appallingly I was treated and berated myself for my naivete in thinking that work could be a stress-less experience.

After a long time of self-reflection and personal progress, I realized that I had to move on from my bad experience and establish a mindful routine. I was stuck in a loop, going through scenes over and over again and becoming paranoid. I repeated conversations between my employers and colleagues in my head. What if I’d handled things differently? Would I have kept my job? I was so angry at myself for considering giving up on life in order to provide for my family.

I felt useless, unmotivated and didn’t feel like I had anything to look forward to in life at all. These constant thoughts were a cruel and self-punishing process that kept me from engaging with my family. I had to adopt a healthier routine for myself. I had to go forward in peace and find a new path for my family, myself and my career. Life wasn’t over. In fact, it had just begun. I just had to be aware of the opportunities that were around me.

I now meditate twice a day, every day, if I can help it. I was surprised at how supportive my family was about this new routine. My partner was incredibly understanding and on day one he asked whether he could join in as well. My mother had a lot of questions, particularly as she had a religious background. After it was explained that meditation isn’t necessarily a religious activity at all, she was very accepting.

My first meditation is always during the morning, usually downstairs with dull light, just like how I experienced meditation in the Thai Forest community. With children, sometimes meditation is interrupted. However, after a series of talks my children have been very accepting and on occasion, will join me.

Some months after my previous employment, I was lucky enough to find a new job in a small office in Bath. I now work for a company with an ethical outlook that dovetails neatly with my mindful approach to life. This positive experience has led me to the enlightening revelation that businesses can in fact be mindful.

A business which practices mindfulness goes beyond ‘textbook’ mindfulness. It is no good to simply be aware of the basic premise that taking the time to be mindful can help employees make better decisions and be more productive. A mindful business is one that consistently encourages employees to reflect, meditate and relax.

From the moment that I made the decision to become more mindful and allow myself time to meditate and self-reflect, my life has changed much for the better. I have learnt much more about who I am, what my true wants and needs are, and how to make decisions that will have a positive impact on myself and my family. Now that I work in a far more mindful environment, I have been able to come home every day without breaking down into tears, which is something I never wanted my children to see. Instead, I enjoy my evenings and make the most of the weekends with my family. I am no longer afraid of Mondays and I find that I have been more productive at work and present in my own life than ever before.

Chloe Clarkson is a feature writer for My Favourite Voucher Codes, a money saving voucher code website that helps consumers save money on their online shopping while donating 20% of their profits to good causes each month at no extra cost to the consumer. Chloe likes to write about mindfulness and healthy lifestyles.

Link: https://www.myfavouritevouchercodes.co.uk

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