Dating / attraction / grasping

[jamie_779]

Hi all,

I have been practising for quite some time now; recently I have met a guy ( holiday romance!) who I am extremely attracted to and would like to date. Historically, I have let the autopilot / grasping for happiness take over and I have killed many potential romances with obsessive behaviour, such as phone calls and stalking. Of course, trying to force happiness, usually ahs the opposite effect. This time I am determined not to go down this route and I want to let things pan out, as they will anyway. Common thoughts I am having at the moment are as follows:

Does he like me?
Will he call?
Would he have added me on Facebook if he thought I was a pig

etc. etc.

I was just wondering whether anyone could recommend an approach, or exercise that I could use to address this mindfully? No bad habits.

As always, thanks in advance

Jamie

[JonW]

Structured practice, perhaps with the help of a course, is key here, Jamie.
In time, it becomes possible to notice certain urges ('I must text now') without acting on them, and also to accept that certain thoughts ('Does he like me?...Will he call?') will arise but we can remind ourselves that these are just thoughts. With practice, we learn to notice them and accept that they will pass. In other words, we learn not to get caught up in the content of thoughts. We learn to see them purely as secretions of the mind, ephemeral mental events.
Without a firm grounding in the practice, this acceptance doesn't often come easy.
All good things,
Jon