Newbie dealing with thoughts post-meditation

[roym]

Hi
New to this forum. Liked the discussions so thought about joining. I had practiced mindful meditation 2 years ago then gave up. I re-started since begining of 2016 and continued with it. I primarily do breathing meditation ~15min everyday in the morning. Sometimes unguided, a lot of times guided.

My question is how to apply mindfulness in the whole day?

I am quite stressed about my career. I am in an industry that is not growing but I am scared of going into a new industry and starting afresh.When I start in the meditation I am successful at not reacting to the thought/stress. Just let it pass and do well. However, during the day I keep getting stressed on my career question and don't think about breathing/mindfulness at that time. For instance, I'll be in a meeting and instead of having my mind in the present, I'll start thinking about the future - whether I am doing the right thing being in this meeting, shouldn't I be looking how to get out of the industry etc etc.

Does mindfulness make one lazy in making important decisions ? In other words you become passive ? How can I Deal with this - should I stop my practice till I am able to decide (I don't even know how to decide)

Thanks so much
Roy

[JonW]

Hi Roy.
Welcome to our mindfulness community. Please feel free to make yourself at home here.
It sounds to me that you haven't quite grounded yourself in the practice. You don't mention body scans, mindful movement, walking meditation etc., only sitting meditation. I wonder if you have looked into the other available possibilities. Perhaps you might consider doing an 8-week course? That would be my recommendation in terms of grounding.
"Does mindfulness make one lazy in making important decisions ? In other words (do) you become passive?"
No. And no. Quite simply. Being mindful is the very opposite of being lazy and passive. Mindfulness is about becoming more aware, waking up to our moment by moment experience, waking up to who we are, waking up to our lives.
All good things,
Jon

[Peter]

Hi Roy,

I agree with Jon, and wrote this myself just before he responded:

Welcome to the forum.

In my experience mindfulness doesn't make one passive. It's quiet the opposite.
Mindfulness makes us recognize which things are important and can be changed, and which things are not so important or cannot be changed. I'd say, worrying makes one passive. It makes one indecisive, and scared to look for another job for instance.

Consider accepting that your job is like that for NOW, and initiate a new path, and don't worry about how it will turn out. Nobody can predict the future. Don't try to prevent 'everything'.

I'd also recommend, meditating more. 15 minutes isn't much. It's better than nothing, but I'd recommend 40 minutes or so per day.

Good luck,
Peter

[JonW]

Beautifully put, Peter.
Mindfulness is really as much about skilful action as it is about accepting the moment as it is.
Since I took up meditating I find that my decisions are made from a much more peaceful place. I'm now able to access a space in which I'm able to choose far more rationally than in the past when a lot of time was spent with the same old worries turning over and over like a pair of underpants in a tumble-drier.
Cheers,
Jon

[Gareth]

My question is how to apply mindfulness in the whole day?

Hello and welcome, Roy.

My advice would be just to let go of thinking about this... it's just more thinking after all. It comes slowly but surely, but you should just notice that you start to become more attentive throughout the day. No need to force it though.

Like Peter, I think that 15 minutes is probably a little on the low side. Especially as you are attempting to get your practice off the ground. Be gentle with yourself as you are trying to increase your time, though. Meditating is hard to begin with. I meditate for 30 minutes each day. It seems to be enough for me.

Why not just add a minute when you feel ready?

[roym]

Thank you all for your suggestions. I will look into increasing the time a little by little. A few questions

a) how can I do the 8 week course. my initiation was through the Palouse online mindfulness course.

b) i still get confused about thoughts during meditation. When thoughts arise, the action of becoming aware of thoughts means that we let go of focusing on our breath. then we can come back to breathing but for a moment we did loose our attention on breath. How do experienced practioners feel after/during a good meditation session.

[JonW]

Hi room,
Details of site approved courses right here:
https://www.everyday-mindfulness.org/online-courses/
All best wishes,
Jon

[Matt Y]

roym.

I'm confused by your question b) above!

Are you expecting to be able to stay focused on the breath for the entire time you meditate?
That would not be realistic. Staying with the breath for a few seconds at a stretch would be pretty good for most people, including many experienced practitioners.

And why are you interested in how other people feel? Comparing yourself with someone else is not usually much help. We're all different, and we all have different experiences. All you really need to be concerned with is how you feel. You might ask whether you feel a little more aware of your body, and more aware of what's been on your mind. Perhaps you might feel a little rested, or calm.

[JonW]

'How do experienced practioners feel after/during a good meditation session.'

I don't know what would constitute a good/bad/indifferent meditation session as I'm not aiming to achieve a certain state of mind when I sit.
This is absolutely not about having a good time on the cushion. It's about being with what is, whatever arises.
If we start to rate our meditations (better than yesterday, not as good as last week), mindfulness becomes yet another form of striving.
Make it easy on yourself,
Jon

[Happyogababe]

I found it interesting that my meditation practice has been different the last month or so. I have been unwell and have had a great deal of stress in my life. Meditation prior to this difficult time had been easier to remain with the breath (or body part during a scan), during meditation lately I've been lured by thoughts/worries/stress moreso.....but I have quickly become aware and returned to the breath (this being many, many times).

A few times (during the day) I allowed myself to be with the thought for a short while, I was aware at the time and was kind with myself afterwards. I was concerned that maybe I'd get into a habit of attaching to thoughts, but I haven't, I think it was just what I needed to do at that time.

Meditation is changing again now that the stress is changing, its as though it adapts to how I need it to be? I don't know. I just do my best.

One thing for sure is that no matter what my experience on the mat I have the same benefits during the day.