Using Mindfulness Everyday

[GirlAloneWithHerself]

Hi everyone,

A couple of years ago, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. To deal with my condition, I began to see a counselor who introduced me to mindfulness.

I've been using it since then to manage my anxiety, but I'm interested in beginning to use it in my everyday life rather than just when I'm feeling particularly anxious. I was just wondering whether you could give me any advice on how to do this.

Thanks for your help.

[Mudlotus]

Hey GirlAloneWithHerself,

I think that is a wonderful insight to have right from the start! Mindfulness is meant to be 'woven' into your daily life, to become more of a habit.

I try to do this whenever I remember it. At the grocery line, during a hike, sometimes while eating or drinking, or taking a shower. I primarily check for bodily sensations: how does the water feel, how does the ground feel under my feet, am I (im)patient right now, what does the surface of that pond look like (alternating gushes of wind), am I in conflict with an idea or feeling right now? Or sometimes behind the computer while hard at work: "Oh right, I'm here right now: how nice.", feeling the keyboard and some slight RSI.

In this way I'm beginning to feel more frequently a sort of peace in myself. This seems to lessen as I meditate less frequently. So I think the formal practices are needed to create the 'skill', and it takes equal effort and intention to expand the practice into your life.

JKZ's book "Wherever you go, there you are" helped me a lot with this, as there are many tips in there, and also in some Youtube videos of Thich Nhat Hahn.

All the best! I've had some experience with anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia and moods of depression and despair. Since I've been meditating these feelings slowly but steadily lessened. I hope (and expect) it will help you too!

[GirlAloneWithHerself]

That's excellent advice! Thank you so much! I love the idea of just picking up on certain parts of the current situation to practice these skills.

I think the main problem is that I want to be able to weave mindfulness into my everyday life straight away even though I know it's going to take time and practice. Curse the perfectionist in me.

Work is an interesting one. I work in a college, so it's always fast-paced and there's no time to even stop and be mindful. How do you manage in work? Are you able to use mindfulness often?

Thanks again

[Mudlotus]

I know the perfectionist curse as well....It seems to go along with trying to take to much control over any given situation, wanting everything to be perfect and complete from the start, sometimes resulting in apathy and indecisiveness because existence simply doesn't work that way. Knowing that trait, I've assured myself it wouldn't need to be perfect; that I may allow myself to take some time.
This year, I feel I only need to maintain my practice. Maybe meditate without the guided meditations from JKZ one day, but so far they've done me a great service.

And I decided I don't have to be my 'old self' so soon; I allow myself to have panic attacks, insomnia and having bad moods and just being horribly unhappy. Ironically, these problems rarely surface anymore. Also, I'm happy with just getting used to little moments of mindfulness. As I said, during things like washing my hands, or tying my shoelaces. That's enough. But I also do a little extra meditation now and then (20 minutes of a guided 'breathscape' or 'mindscape'). Or 'feel my body' incidentally before going to sleep or work. These little moments feel like 'extras'. Like hitting the jackpot a few more times. I'm pretty sure these moments are great for getting used to the healthy alternative of living in the present moment.

So there's no need to feel like rushing things or feeling inadequate at this. I feel even such short moments of awareness are worth much more than the usual mode of living. Before my ordeal, I never looked at the surface of a pond without thinking there was nothing new to be seen, but the wind or absence of it always seem to do new things, make new forms. It's simply worth it to 'take' these little moments.

But I digress and am verbose as usual....

I have the luxury of working freelance in my own environment. But that shouldn't keep you from creating short moments of mindfulness: in a meeting, or on the phone with a client, or even during an argument with your boss: one moment or another you're going to think 'Hey, I'm here, alive, and this dude is alive too, how cool. This isn't so bad.'
I believe even such short moments are of extreme value, and require almost no effort.

So even though I expect this path I'm now on with Mindfulness will lead me to a 'broader' sense of awareness during the day, I'm also fine if it stays with short moments, even if it takes 5 or 10 years. There's no need to get ahead of (your/)myself.

I'd say: allow yourself to feel however you feel, and trust in the improvement this practice will inevitably bring you; the science really is in on this thing. Recently I introduced a friend to Mindfulness, a "Wolf of Wallstreet" kind of guy: always angry, wronged and bitter, and in less than 8 weeks I've seen him become more compassionate and happy, being kinder and more mellow especially to his 2 kids who now seem to be flourishing at school. He borrowed my book "The mindful way through depression", which I can also recommend.

Even if you're going to 'loose your mindfulness' during short or longer periods, you're going to notice it, after or even during it. Either way, this is a big win.

[GirlAloneWithHerself]

Verbose is good. Continue being verbose. It sounds like you've had very similiar experiences to me and I really appreciate your guidance on this.

Perfectionism is a bit of a curse. I guess I need to let go of it a little bit.

I love your story about your friend. I've totally noticed that with myself as well. I used to be incredibly stressed and anxious all the time and mindfulness has given me the chance to be calmer, more reflective and compassionate.

Thanks for your guidance. You're an absolute gem.

[FeeHutch]

Hello Girl

I find these days anything can remind me to pay attention to the moment. At the start of practice it might help to link a mindful breathing space with an action, making a cup of tea or washing the dishes for example so that you get used to weaving mindfulness in to the everyday. I remember thinking when I read the idea somewhere (so many books!) it was similar to the midwife suggesting I do pelvic floor exercises everytime I was at a red light when I was pregnant. Like establishing any habit I think repetition is the key.

[Mudlotus]

Verbose is good. Continue being verbose. It sounds like you've had very similiar experiences to me and I really appreciate your guidance on this.

Perfectionism is a bit of a curse. I guess I need to let go of it a little bit.

I love your story about your friend. I've totally noticed that with myself as well. I used to be incredibly stressed and anxious all the time and mindfulness has given me the chance to be calmer, more reflective and compassionate.

Thanks for your guidance. You're an absolute gem.

Thanks.
The last days I thought I should temper my previous enthusiasm. A realistic expectation is to expect feeling bad. In my case I've been feeling worse the last few weeks. So those old problems and feelings are still there and have momentum. But because I'm getting better at "creating a better intimacy with my interiority", I was far less swept away by it. So my suffering got more superficial, and took less time.

And more on topic again: I noticed moments of mindfulness without any effort.
In one of the guided meditations JKZ says "the next time your in the shower, check if you're really in the shower." I never thought I'd see the day I would actually manage to do that: I was fully aware of the whole experience, still with a stream of thinking, but this time in the background.

So I suspect mindfulness may actually become the baseline of daily life. I wonder if people here experience this.

[healthyhappymind]

Hi all,

I personally find I go through waves of mindfulness. Some days it comes easily, and I might be in the flow for a while, and then days go by where I completely forget about the practice. Something will usually happen to prompt me to remember, perhaps a mini-crisis, or a message from someone. Then I'm back on track.

It's such a brilliant practice though. Just being present while brushing your teeth, washing the dishes, taking a shower. It's incredible when you realise that you spend much of your time thinking about the past, or the future, instead of the now.