The nature of change

[luckysod]

The nature of change.
Many of my past notions of what was required to affect desirable emotional and behavioural change entailed force of will and conscious micro management of every detail,always with a strict disciplinarian in the background who could not be satisfied.
Needless to say my considerable efforts toward realising some of what I sensed in myself and particularly those aimed at a simple peace and joy in living yeilded me far more thorns than roses.
Today I have learned that for me, the type of deep change that causes the desirabe emotional and behavioural changes to become instinctive is not acheived that way.
Indeed all of the most fundamental changes I have experienced in recent years were not consciously directed but recognised in real time or hind sight.
An easy example is self esteem, self worth, confidence or whatever else people call it. Once a foreign concept. I could recognise it, I wanted it, but I had almost no understanding of it. Over a not very long period, shortly after my self awareness and general process began I started to notice differences in my behaviour and thinking, and one of the fundamental ones was a gut level feeling of being comfortable in my own skin. It took a time to label it. At least a couple of weeks practice, reflection and journaling later the truth of it was undeniable. The feeling itself is instinctive, asks no questions and has a positive affect on most of my personality. It is also resistant to circumstances. It has become a driver rather than someone I'm trying to tempt into the car.
That was a bigie but my experience is consistent in many areas. If asked 5yrs ago what issues I had that needed addressing the list would have been long and specific. To my surprise and joy 95% percent of them shifted quite naturally with my increasing awareness and ability to see truth.
The practices in essence are very simple, but adherence to them is greatly complicated by many contemporary notions of good, bad, lazy and what lifes about. In a way I am.fortunate, my articulation and awareness of mindfulness was, to a degree developed in isolation, with its obvious results motivating to explore further what was happening. Many of the contemporary ideas that had hindered me simply disappeared in the face of what i was seeing.
I wish you all well,

David

[JonW]

Thank you, David, lovely post.
Wishing you well too,
Jon, Hove

[luckysod]

Thank you Jon, I'm pleased tp be here.

David