A Nomadic Mindful Journey

[Galactic Nomad]

Hi Everyone,

Following on from my introduction post in the General Section, I thought I’d start a thread that chronicles my mindfulness practice.

I came to mindfulness from a place of discomfort, a place of anxiety. This anxiety and discomfort were traits I’d carried with me for quite some time through a tendency to catastrophise and react to negative thoughts, feelings and emotions in my life. Fear was an uneasy bedfellow that I had grown used to over 32 years of life experience.

I’ve just finished listening to the abridged version of JKZ Full Catastrophe Living, and have started listening to the abridged version of Finding Peace In A Frantic World (FPIAFW).

The purpose of this thread will be as much a journal, and a record of my practice as it is an opportunity for me to share the challenges and successes I will inevitably encounter. By sharing these intimate and personal thoughts with you all I hope to contribute as well as leverage the insight, experience and wisdom that’s spread so generously across this site.

I’m conscious that FPIAFW has an 8 week program. Until I’ve gotten to the relevant section in the book I’ll (mindfully) resist the urge to jump ahead and start working through the 8 weeks.

Until then what I’d like to do is chronicle how I mindfully work through my ability to focus on consistently completing the following 4 goals each day:

1) Completing 3 important tasks each weekday, and reviewing and structuring my week each weekend
2) Exercising and eating a healthy balanced diet each week day
3) Meditating each day
4) Preparing for the following day each evening i.e. getting my clothes, food, and daily goals and scheduled defined and completed each weekday

Where in the past I pursued the 4 habits noted above, I also experienced anxiety, disappointment and frustration when I wasn’t able to maintain the habits with the consistency I desired. All of these emotions often saw me lose track, only to throw myself at re-establishing those very same habits again and again. As has so often been quoted, doing the same thing and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity!

What then will I be doing differently this time, given I'm effectively trying to establish the same 4 habits again? Now that I've started my mindfulness practice I realise that in amongst those negative thoughts and emotions were observations and opportunities I could learn and benefit from if I simply saw them for what they are, and not for the painful and judgemental attacks I was making them out to be in my head.

As often as I can I’ll look to update this thread on whether or not I was able to complete the 4 habits noted above, and look to acknowledge my successes while observing and learning from my challenges as I continue my practice.

Sincerely,
Nomad

[Gareth]

Great stuff Nomad, I look forward to reading your posts.

[Simonjk]

Great post,

I can identify with what you say. I also find it interesting that I have tried like yourself to have the same goals.

The one difference or change I have made is to be both a little looser with the goals e.g to practice meditation 5 out of 7 days per week. And also to be more compassionate on myself to basically accept there will be good days and bad.

What's interesting is what would you advise someone else doing the same thing ?

I have found that when I coach individuals in the work place I always tell them that if something doesn't work they haven't failed they've just learnt that there may be a better way of doing the task or set the goal or whatever, as long as they learn they haven't failed. Shame it's more difficult to apply this to ourselves.

Good luck, and I look forward to following your progress.

Simon

[JonW]

Hi Nomad,
Very much looking forward to reading your posts.
Your history of anxiety and discomfort sounds very similar to my own.
It's now a year since I embarked on my adventure into mindfulness and the difference it's made to my life is colossal.
I wish you all the best.
Cheers, Jon

[Galactic Nomad]

Thank you Gentlemen. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond.

I also find it interesting that I have tried like yourself to have the same goals.

That is interesting. I wonder if this talks to the ying and yang of life today, in that while we acknowledge the need to be focussed, consistent and goal orientated we also need a means to be conscious of the “friction” such (seemingly positive) outcomes have on our lives.

I borrowed the term “friction” in this context from a discussion JKZ had with Daniel Goleman the man behind the emotional intelligence construct. Apparently they’ve been friends since graduate school. It was a wonderful discussion about the need to live through ones heart, while being conscious of the rigors of life and being seeing them for what they are in the moment.

The one difference or change I have made is to be both a little looser with the goals e.g to practice meditation 5 out of 7 days per week.

Indeed, I didn’t meditate yesterday which then saw me beat up on myself a little. I was able to let those thoughts and emotions go, but upon reflection I think I too may loosen up my expectations.

to be more compassionate on myself to basically accept there will be good days and bad.

Indeed, what a wonderful gift this is. The ability to be conscious of my thoughts, and bring myself back to the present non judgementally is already working like a balm to my ragged mind: and to think I can access this through my breath. Fantastic.

What's interesting is what would you advise someone else doing the same thing ?

I have found that when I coach individuals in the work place I always tell them that if something doesn't work they haven't failed they've just learnt that there may be a better way of doing the task or set the goal or whatever, as long as they learn they haven't failed. Shame it's more difficult to apply this to ourselves.

I found myself connecting with an old and dear friend yesterday over a phone call. He’s an incredibly kind, compassionate, and selfless person: however he's in a tough place at the moment.

What struck me when speaking to him is the energy we give to our thoughts, fears and frustrations and how these emotions appear to grow to overwhelming proportions in an instant, which we then reflect into the future, only to see them grow even more and take on a life of their own.

I burrowed one of Gareth’s quotes/tweets when I asked him: “how often has the future turned out to be as scary and catastrophic as we thought it to be?” The answer? Never. I could tell he took a lot of perspective from those comments.

What I struggled to convey was the beauty, simplicity and potential of the present moment. It was almost too simple and too complex in the same breath (no pun intended!).

I’m going to reach out to him in the coming week via some JKZ recordings, and other mindfulness resources.

RE: My own practice. The last two times I’ve meditated using JKZ’s 45 minute guided body scan I’ve noticed that my mind invariably drifts to thoughts, and fears about what other people are thinking about me. Unlike in the recent past where I would normally take on these manifestations of my imagination as fact, this time I’ve been able to view them with a kind curiosity. Why? Why is the activity of my mind occupied with what other people may or may not be thinking about me?

I’ve come to the realisation that I’m giving energy to things that are outside of my control, things that may or may not have happened in the past, and things that may or may not happen in the future. I will continue to be conscious of these things and let them go when I become aware of them.

Initially I simply thought I was being too hard on myself, striving for heights and beating myself up after not achieving them. Observing that this may not be entirely the case, and that there are other thoughts and emotions at work has been somewhat enlightening.

It's now a year since I embarked on my adventure into mindfulness and the difference it's made to my life is colossal.

Jon that is fantastic to hear. I truly look forward to looking back in a year from now and saying a similar thing.

[Galactic Nomad]

So here goes, Monday morning in Sydney.

First day at work after framing my resolution above re: the following 4 goals -

1) Completing 3 important tasks each weekday, and reviewing and structuring my week each weekend
2) Exercising and eating a healthy balanced diet each week day
3) Meditating each day
4) Preparing for the following day each evening i.e. getting my clothes, food, and daily goals and scheduled defined and completed each weekday

In the past, I've let my own thoughts and emotions knock me off center and failed to complete most of not any of the 4 items noted above.

My challenge today will be to be conscious of what I'm required to do, and observe and let go of any thought or emotion that may prevent me from the sort of day I want to have today.

Watch this space!

[GianKarlo]

Well, In the words of Chief Seattle, "Take only memories, leave nothing but footprints." To do this be mindful...

[Galactic Nomad]

Yesterday was fascinating. I'll start off by saying that of the 4 goals I only really achieved 2 of the 4 I had set out to.

However what I was able to observe was the reasoning behind why I wasn't able to achieve the other 2.

The two goals I did achieve were, numbers 3 & 4: the meditation and preparation for the following day.

Goals 1 & 2 weren't achieved as much because of influences that were outside of my control more so than anything specifically to do with me i.e.

1) Completing 3 important tasks each weekday

This wasn't achieved in most part because of the complexity of the first task I started working on and a meeting later in the day which took up quite a bit of time. In the past I would simply have focused on not even achieving one of my three tasks. However I was able to be conscious of the reality of my day yesterday and focus on mitigating the complexity and time taken around future meetings (therefore being solutions focused) where in the past I would have beaten myself up over my perceived failure.

2) Exercising and eating a healthy balanced diet each week day

The second goal was at much to do with the pressures on me throughout the day as it was my inability to be mindful of my actions when I got home after a long day. I used the long day as an excuse to not go for a gentle walk, when in reality I could have. Similarly with the one (or two!) slices of chocolate cake I had before and after dinner last night. I was on autopilot and in the flow of my impulses. I have to admit though the cake was delicious!

I've just completed JKZ's seated guided meditation and he speaks of being aware of the body as a whole before choosing to take action. To date I've used mindfulness to gently and purposefully bring me back to the present moment, from either the past or the future. I'll look to use this technique today to bring me back to the present from my emotions and thoughts i.e. before I chose the instant gratification of a slice of cake, or given into my perceptions of exhaustion am I really that exhausted that I cannot walk around the block? Or am I really going to have to have that slice of cake? In this moment?

Nomad

[Metaphysical Me]

Hi there,
I've tried working with clearly defined goals, like the 4 daily goals you've listed, in the past, but oh boy, they've not worked for me!

To me, reading my old lists of daily goals, or seeing yours, makes me think of a cooking recipe, strictly adhered to, or programming steps, for a computer or robot.

While these goals are, of course, the best of intentions, I've found in my life that they soooo do not reflect the fluid and transient nature of life. Whenever I think I can "pin life down" or have found the right "recipe" to make it work... woosh, there it goes, being elusive and being about something entirely else, suddenly.

And having such "strict" goals has been part of what has fed into my anxiety.

Nowadays I'm more gentle/ general in the intentions that I have. For example, instead of seeking to "complete 3 important tasks each day" I might set my intentions on "trying to complete more important than unimportant tasks on more days than not". And then to trust in the idea that if I'm heading in the right direction and the practice is working, then it will grow over time.

And no, this is not about being "wishy-washy" or having a lack of accountability about whether I'm pursuing a goal or making a thousand little exceptions. For some reason, this just seems to actually work for me, whereas the stricter goal setting method was more a distraction from the keys issues than anything else.

(Not sure if that makes sense, I seem to be getting very lazy with my wording recently, and hence sometimes saying things that don't make as much sense as I would wish, haha.)

XXX Janey