How to Train an Elephant (book)

[FeeHutch]

Sunday again already!

OK so I have felt the earth beneath my feet this week. I have to wear shoes as much as possible to manage the pain issues but where ever possible I have slipped them off to feel what is supporting them. The slate in my garden in either refreshingly cooling or warming depending on the weather, the grass is damp even when it looks dry and the carpet in the cinema, even in the premiere posh screen, is pretty rough It feels like the lesson this week has been more subtle than some other weeks but a valuable on none the less. There is something organic and powerful about standing in bare feet and just feeling the earth and realising that you ar epart of the planet and also what a very big planet it is.

Week 35 is noticing dislike. I have tried to cultivate a greater awareness of this, especially in recent weeks. I like the the discovery that aversion is much more common than we realise and the idea that it can subtle effect our mood so we aren't aware or in other circumstances seem to come out of nowhere.

I am trying to balance not being blind to dislike, not being swept mindlessly away by it but also not avoiding the feelings and labelling them as negative. Should be an interesting week as always

[Steve]

I'm awayat present. Gravity is a good reminder of the earth for
Fellow campers provide good practice re aversion lol
Steve

[Steve]

Now back at home so can write a bit more...

As mentioned, I found being aware of gravity and the support provided by the earth under my feet a good reminder for last week's topic. As you say, bare feet provide much more input and connection - its good that you can still do this despite the difficulties. I find myself going bare foot at home (and on holiday) much more and wearing socks makes my feet feel constrained, wrapped up and often too warm!

Noticing aversion/dislike. I find myself saying/thinking 'whatever' much more often these days which may be a sign that I am becoming less attached to how I might like things to be and less judgemental of what happens. Nevertheless, it'll be interesting to see just how often dislike is the initial/automatic reaction to events.

Steve

[FeeHutch]

So noticing aversion. With my children off with the grandparents, my husband off work and a couple of big personal achievements this week, life has been freer than usual of aversions. Still, this coming week looks at noticing what we are overlooking which seems to be about bringing together a lot of previous practices. Are we feeling the earth below us, hearing the sounds around us, paying attention to our feelings and of course being aware of the breath.

It makes sense as we enter the final 3 months of this 12 month project to start joining the dots as it were between the individual practices, bringing them together. The children are back at school this week, my elder daughter is moving to a new school and I'm anxious about it. Lots to observe this week as always then!

[Steve]

Fee

It's good to hear that you have had a good week with little aversion.

In trying to notice when aversion arises, I found it depended greatly on my mood. If my mood was not good then a negative reaction seemed to be the norm for most things, whereas when my mood was better, the negative reactions were less frequent in that I would give the situation the 'benefit of the doubt' and keep a more open mind rather than jumping to conclusions. This highlights to me that how what we feel is really much more dependent on what is going on inside us (which we should be able to learn to control) than external events (which are outside our control).

I also noticed that when immersed in thought (about the past or future) most of the time this tended to have a negative flavour (except when I let myself day dream or fantasize). It's also interesting to notice that I am often mentally wrestling with one problem or another. Although this is typical of an INTP (see the other thread on personality types) and my natural inclination is to try to find solutions to problems, there is a danger that this concentrates too much on the negative (the problem) and not enough on the positive (the challenge of finding a solution and the solution if one appears). Also, when my awareness was in the present moment, the tendency for negativity was reduced, although not so much when interacting with other people (which often seems to give rise to some form of judgement or aversion).

I agree with your overview of the coming week and your comments about joining the dots. 'Noticing what you are overlooking' is a nice way of expressing this. Hope you have another good week.

Steve

[FeeHutch]

Morning Steve and everyone else reading
I have struggled some this week. I've been quite unwell, had a painful anniversary to live through and I've tried to be extra aware of everything both these events have stirred up in me. Accepting pain both emotional and physical is far better than trying to ignore it but still not 'easy'. I found it too overwhelming to try and ask myself what it was I was missing.

For a while it flummoxed me until I remembered what I had written about joining up the dots of previous practices. What I found helpful was to pause and pay attention to the sounds I could hear, the colours I could see, what was above or below my eye line, what I could smell and taste. All this helped settle me in to the moment more gently and I found it much more pleasant and helpful.

So this week we will practice being aware if the wind. It feels like Autumn has certainly arrived her and I live on the side of one of Sheffield's big hills so it gets plenty windy. I like the idea of taking something as huge as the wind, the air around us and then using this awareness to focus on smaller movements of the air right down to the breath. There's never a dull practice

[Steve]

Fee, sounds like your awareness helped you get there in the end.

I've been quite distracted too so have not remembered to step back and look at the bigger picture very often so I've been overlooking noticing what I've been overlooking!

When I have remembered/noticed, I found looking into the distance or at the sky helpful and trying to do the same mentally - trying to bring my attention to what is occupying my mind, even if only after the event.

This week is wind. I do find the practices associated with nature to be more natural (!) for me to practice. The wind and the breath are ubiquitous so like last week there is an opportunity to notice it at any time - we are just 'swimming' in a sea of air which passes in and out of us (breathing) and in which there are movements and currents (wind).

Have a good week Fee (and anyone else reading this thread).

Steve

[Steve]

Hi there

Much of the week has slipped by with little awareness - maybe because I've not been outdoors a lot.

But I have noticed the wind from a gentle breeze on my skin (an exquisite feeling) to a full-on, in the face strong wind that blows all the cobwebs away. I also watched and heard trees moving, swaying, bending and rustling in the wind - such a constant background that is is noticeable when all is still and quiet.

I find fresh air invigorating and like all aspects of the weather the wind is something we just have to accept - cycling against it can be a struggle but going with the flow lifts the spirit.

This week its listening to others with full attention. This is something I do need to practice - its so easy to jump to conclusions or interrupt someone with your own thoughts. My other half complains I don't listen to her so maybe a good place to start!

Hope all is well

Steve

[FeeHutch]

Hello
Sorry I wasn't well enough to post yesterday. I have struggled this last week to keep my focus too but with the change in the weather (every 5 seconds today) I have been pretty aware of the wind.
The new school walk (two schools now not 1) involves walking through a park with some majestic weeping willows which I love, especially when they sway in the wind

I start some new volunteer work, among other things including taking my registration certificate this week so lots to take in and new people to meet. I always try my best to really listen to people but I think we all know that often we are busy figuring what to say next rather than listening. This is a timely task as always. Have a good week Steve

[FeeHutch]

I am posting a little early as I will be offline for a few days.

So, really listening to others this week. There have been so many opportunities to try and be so mindful of this. I think it has in part helped me deal with a challenging weeks. It is so easy not to be in the moment when you are listening and instead to be planning what you will say or jumping ahead to what they might say and what it might mean or doing the same but thinking of past conversations. I have some friends who have really needed someone to just listen to them and I have needed that in return too. Being on both ends really brings home to difference feeling heard can have.

So, this week the exercise is to stop through out the day and consciously identify what you are able to appreciate right in the moment. This is such a lovely and grounding thing to do and reminds me of a quote I read

if you are alive, there is more right than wrong with you

This idea was so powerfully brought home to me one morning a week or so after the haem when I was actually allowed to get out of bed for the first time. I could hardly stand at all. Half my head was shaved. I was still in a terrific amount of pain. The ward was near the top of the hospital, I could see a lot of the city laid out before me. It was grey and wet and it was the best view ever. There was so much to appreciate in that moment. It still provokes powerful feelings in me now and reminds me to look for the positives.

I find the passage in the book about being primed to look for negatives very interesting. It reminds me of the much earlier task in week 13 of the media fast, the effect of not watching the news. Looking for something to appreciate means paying attention to right now and being grateful. Doesn't sound like a bad task to me

Hope you are well Steve.