What is holding you back?

Post here if you are just starting out with your mindfulness practice. Mindfulness is a really difficult concept to get your head around at first, and it might be that you would benefit from some help from others.
User avatar
Gareth
Site Admin
Posts: 1465

Mon Dec 18, 2017 4:10 pm  

We're all different; it's so very important to remember that. There is no better judge of the results than you.

Over the years, I have come to have a looser grip on the idea of formal/informal practice. Mindfulness is a way of life to me. A way of life that I try to honour each and every day; in each and every moment to be exact.

I go to make a drink and count my breaths while the kettle is boiling. My son tells me about his day at school and I try to give him every last bit of my attention. I listen to an hour-long ambient album in the headphones and allow my thoughts to pass as I listen. I sit on the rug and stare at the fire for a while, watching the flames dancing. I take three mindful breaths after writing this paragraph. Where does formal practice begin and end? In many ways, I have stopped caring.

A word of caution: this way of being only emerged very slowly in me, and all this is just my experience. When I first started out, I meditated regularly and consistently. I still do what is considered as 'formal practice' on a very reular basis. There is something about meditation that changes the way that your brain works

Xaric
Posts: 17
Practice Mindfulness Since: 27 May 2014

Mon Dec 18, 2017 6:26 pm  

@Peter wrote:In my experience 2-3 minutes of formal practice per day doesn't do anything.


This suggestion will unlikely help you become more mindful in your life but it will definitely help you make "sitting down to practice mindfulness" a habit.

The secret to mastering any kind of practice is to first master its basics and if you master sitting down daily, even for 3 minutes, then you can slowly start working your way up to 5 -10 -20 - 30 minutes.

When you go to the gym your goal might be to get huge biceps but to achieve this you have to start low, laying the correct foundation, by lifting 5KG or so for a while...

This worked for me like a charm and I definitely recommend it to absolute beginners or people who have a hard time maintaining a consistent mindfulness practice.

They say that habits are very hard to be dropped so why not take advantage of it?

User avatar
Peter
Site Admin
Posts: 696
Practice Mindfulness Since: 19 Aug 2013
Location: The Netherlands

Mon Dec 18, 2017 6:34 pm  

Gareth is absolutely right. I'm also automatically mindful of almost anything throughout the day. To me the formal practice feels like a different beast. It provides the serenity and freedom to explore whatever I want. And I've also noticed that the ability to automatically be mindful throughout the day lessens when I don't do enough formal practice. It doesn't go away, but it gets less automatic.

User avatar
Peter
Site Admin
Posts: 696
Practice Mindfulness Since: 19 Aug 2013
Location: The Netherlands

Mon Dec 18, 2017 6:43 pm  

@Xaric

What you're saying is true, but it's also true that people probably won't notice anything positive when they don't do it long enough. Which means that people don't see the point in going on, and give up.

To continue your weightlifting analogy: if one lifts 5 kg for 2-3 minutes every day, one wouldn't notice any change in one's muscles, and give up.

But, as Gareth said, everybody is different. Thanks for your advice, Xaric.

MiM
Posts: 122
Practice Mindfulness Since: 0- 5-2015

Mon Dec 18, 2017 7:04 pm  

To continue with the weightlifting analogy. If you'r a beginner and try to lift heavy weights for 30 minutes every day, you will get sore muscles, fatigue and probably stop. One way to do it might be to start with 10 minutes a day, but I believe that most trainers would rather recommend to do 30 minutes every third day, so that you get to recuperate in between.
Stands at the sea, wonders at wondering: I a universe of atoms, an atom in the universe.
-Richard Feynman-

alexcr87
Posts: 32

Mon Dec 18, 2017 8:40 pm  

Gareth wrote:We're all different; it's so very important to remember that. There is no better judge of the results than you.

Over the years, I have come to have a looser grip on the idea of formal/informal practice. Mindfulness is a way of life to me. A way of life that I try to honour each and every day; in each and every moment to be exact.

I go to make a drink and count my breaths while the kettle is boiling. My son tells me about his day at school and I try to give him every last bit of my attention. I listen to an hour-long ambient album in the headphones and allow my thoughts to pass as I listen. I sit on the rug and stare at the fire for a while, watching the flames dancing. I take three mindful breaths after writing this paragraph. Where does formal practice begin and end? In many ways, I have stopped caring.

A word of caution: this way of being only emerged very slowly in me, and all this is just my experience. When I first started out, I meditated regularly and consistently. I still do what is considered as 'formal practice' on a very reular basis. There is something about meditation that changes the way that your brain works


Even though "we're all different" as Gareth says, I think what he describes might be shared by virtually everyone doing meditation. This was both enlightening and beautiful to read.

User avatar
Peter
Site Admin
Posts: 696
Practice Mindfulness Since: 19 Aug 2013
Location: The Netherlands

Mon Dec 18, 2017 8:46 pm  

This was both enlightening and beautiful to read.

True that!

Xaric
Posts: 17
Practice Mindfulness Since: 27 May 2014

Mon Jan 01, 2018 4:53 pm  

Yeah!

That was a nice post!

Many different opinions heard :)

I am glad about that!

Mindsfull
Posts: 29

Tue Jan 02, 2018 4:34 am  

I would say my reason is mainly because when I start feeling better and more calm during the day there's not that immediate urgency to meditate as I'm feeling good.
Then I may have some stressfull weeks or days or something major comes up in life and I get back into it and then start to feel better then stop again. And repeat the cycle.

Ive had a daily practice off and on for 2.5 years. I've read lots of material and done numerous 8 week courses and experimented with lots of types of meditation. I think my main issue is that I haven't instilled the habit of maybe a set time everyday. People always say morning is best which I struggle with as I'm not a morning person and tend to fall asleep and then don't get chance till evening when I start thinking I don't have time and then another day has gone without practicing.

User avatar
BronteFan
Posts: 112
Practice Mindfulness Since: 11 Dec 2018
Contact:

Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:57 pm  

After I learnt meditation at school, the reason why I stopped meditating before I rediscovered it was because I had to get a lot of reading done so didn't have time.
Let your creativity run free.
You can be who you want to be.
You can do what you want to do.
The only 1 you have to please is you.

  •   Information
  • Who is online

    Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests