True self

[Spikeycloud]

Hi Jon,
I understand very greatly that observing your thoughts can be really a good thing to master. The problem with me however, is that I often don’t see them as thoughts but see them as me. They don’t seem like clouds in the sky or sentences in my head they seem to be me and my reality. This is of course not very cool if those thoughts are negative and destructive – and that’s why I started mindfulness to that those thoughts don’t have as much impact on me as it does now.

I also experienced many times that thoughts do create your perception of reality. This became very clear on psychedelics , that I could get out of my perception and see that the reality I experience is not reality how it is, but a mere reflection of me. So if I change me I change my reality.

[JonW]

Well, firstly, we are not attempting to master anything here. The process is much more gentle than that. Mindfulness is not about mastering anything. It's simply about being with what is.
As for seeing thoughts as you...a lifetime of habit is being undone here and it takes time, patience and a great deal of self-compassion. If you are in a hurry to get results, it will be counter-productive. This is more about letting go than acquiring anything.
Cheers,
Jon

[Spikeycloud]

Well, firstly, we are not attempting to master anything here. The process is much more gentle than that. Mindfulness is not about mastering anything. It's simply about being with what is.
As for seeing thoughts as you...a lifetime of habit is being undone here and it takes time, patience and a great deal of self-compassion. If you are in a hurry to get results, it will be counter-productive. This is more about letting go than acquiring anything.
Cheers,
Jon

You are saying that I basically let go all control and trust in life, but life (or rather said my mind) screwed me over a couple of times so that will be pretty hard for me

[JonW]

'You are saying that I basically let go all control and trust in life.'

Where did I say that?

[Spikeycloud]

'You are saying that I basically let go all control and trust in life.'

Where did I say that?

Well you didn't but that is immediately my perception with this. Could me be haha.It is still hard for me to get trust in all of this. If those thoughts are not me then who is thinking them -and can you even think for yourself? Also why I'm still so affected by them if they are not me lol. I guess it takes some time like you said.

[JonW]

If you are stumped with that particular question, let it go. Just focus on noticing thoughts as a mental event and coming back to the anchor (breath, etc.)
Cheers,
Jon

[Spikeycloud]

If you are stumped with that particular question, let it go. Just focus on noticing thoughts as a mental event and coming back to the anchor (breath, etc.)
Cheers,
Jon

I hope I can do that, even though I know it is not really me ( I hope ) it is haunting me for some years now.

[JonW]

Try seeing it as just another thought, Spikey. Watch it pass and let it go.
Mindfulness isn't about wrestling with weighty philosophical questions. It's a simple practice.
Cheers,
Jon

[Peter]

Great advice from Jon.

You're really overthinking it, Spikey. You're getting in your own way, doing that.
The answers will come to you by experiencing the practice, not by contemplations.

Peter

[JonW]

I would add that there's nothing wrong with asking yourself these questions and, if you feel the impulse, investigating them via books, webcasts etc.
But don't confuse these questions with mindfulness which is always a simple practice involving being present in the moment, non-judgmentally.
Cheers,
JW