Slowing the rush

[JonW]

"I think you've been given good support/advice from the experienced members and I am in no way qualified to offer any."

Au contraire, Happyogababe. As a practitioner, you are as qualified to speak from your own experience as the rest of us. Some of us might be more experienced but I'm sure we all operate from the place of beginner's mind. Mindfulness is not something we ever master. Every time we sit, we're starting again, in the truest sense.
What's that old saying? We can never step into the same river twice...
All best,
Jon

[Peter]

If this black counter isn't a timer, but something to keep score, then I would advise very much against it! Don't keep scores when it comes to mindfulness!

Just to be clear: I use a bracelet that vibrates every half an hour. It is by no means an alternative to formal practice. As I said, formal practice is imperative. It is an aid; like the chirping of a bird, like a nudge. You still need to do everything yourself, after you've noticed it! And you still need to notice it; that in itself takes mindfulness after a while. Try to notice a little beep or a little vibration that happens every half an hour for months or years. Soon it becomes very hard to notice it. Such an aid can be very helpful; especially at stimuli-poor environments like some jobs have.

[EDIT]
"Au contraire, Happyogababe. As a practitioner, you are as qualified to speak from your own experience as the rest of us. Some of us might be more experienced but I'm sure we all operate from the place of beginner's mind."
Very wise words, Jon! Although, I wouldn't take advice from just anyone! There are a lot of people out there that don't have the first clue about what mindfulness is about. Happy certainly isn't one of them though!!

Peter

[Happyogababe]

Hi Jon and Peter,
How kind you both are. I am learning so much and a lot of that is by relearning a childlike curiosity, and of course from the support and advice that I get from you guys, here. Yes, beginners mind is in my life more.

Thanks : )

[Peter]

You're very welcome Happy! And thank you in return! Your positive attitude always brightens my day as well!
Peter

[Mtb324]

Thanks guys for the thoughtful replies. I really appreciate it. I hear what everyone is saying about doing the meditation. I've started that again and will continue with it. I have tried to meditate in the car, in the shower etc (as part of my day) but what I am hearing is this is not enough so I'll find 15 minutes daily to start to devote just to meditating.

Since a few people asked, it is a counter, not a timer. It's very small and black, a little larger than a quarter. I think it's supposed to be used for jump ropers to count jumps. Anyway, so it's pretty unnoticeable and I carry it in my hand pretty much all the time. I don't know, when I first started to try to be mindful I thought it would be nice to be able to count every time I was mindful during the day. So if I carefully answered an email, double checked my spelling, thought mindfully about what I wanted to say, then *click*, that's one point. If I pull my socks on carefully, feeling the fabric against my skin then *click*, another point. If I found myself rushing through something...brushed my teeth but was thinking of something else, then I'd take a point off. I might assemble 100 points in a day. I realize this is a bit quirky and probably not the kind of thing the great masters are doing but, I don't know, it did make for a much more mindful day. Given that I've literally done this since, I believe the date was October 8th, 2014 (day before my birthday, I remember), I am hesistant to give it up.

Then, as I alluded to, I got this crazy job. It's the job I have wanted, very good for my career etc. Some people talked about the work/life balance. Believe me, you are preaching to the choir. I was putting in my 40-45 hours a week and enjoying my weekends but frankly, it just wasn't enough. All the other admins were working like 60 a week and as a first year vice-principal you are learning the job and you just can't squeeze everything in. I used to read for pleasure, exercise, take long walks but it seems like one of those years or two years where you get a new job and you just have to succeed and so everything else must take a back seat. The other choice would be to go back to 40 hours a week and likely fail at the job or go through meeting after meeting unprepared during the week.

I like the idea about taking three minutes here and there throughout the day. I need to work on something like that. As I said, it's a mad rush right now and my thoughts and worries get very stirred up during the workday and even with the counter, I am far less mindful than I would like to be.

Thanks again for your support and thoughts. What an amazing forum this is!

[JonW]

You're welcome, Mtb324.
Nice and easy does it. Being gentle with yourself is very, very important. This is all about self-compassion.
About the counter. If it's working for you at present, keep with it. But, as time goes on, ask yourself whether it is truly making you more mindful throughout the day, or whether you're using to tick a mindful box at regular intervals through the day. Just observe. Be curious.
About your job. It's great that you've got the job you longed for. Good for you. You've every reason to feel proud. Perhaps now is the time to gently test your limits in terms of fitting meditation into your life. Would it be possible to set your alarm clock a few minutes earlier so that you could sit for a few minutes before or straight after breakfast? When you're on your way to work, whether you're driving or taking the train, is it possible to notice that you're caught up in thoughts about the day ahead? Is it possible to spend a little time on the journey noticing the world outside the window, noticing how you are breathing, sitting etc.? During lunch is it possible to practice a little mindful eating? When you next take a walk on your own, check in on yourself. Are you present in terms of noticing the wonders of nature around you? Or are you caught up in thoughts about the past and the future?
This is not about being mindful 24/7. No-one can be mindful all the time. Sometimes the most we can do is being attentive to our inattentiveness. That simply involves noticing that our minds are elsewhere and bringing them back into the moment where that sparrow is singing, that sun is shining and that bloke who just passed doesn't half look like Groucho Marx.
You've already made a start. That's usually the hardest bit.
All best,
Jon

[Peter]

You're welcome Mtb. I would advice against the counter though. You're keeping score, which is never a good idea when it comes to mindfulness. Did one have a worse mindfulness-day when one has fewer clicks? I think not! It's by no means a measure of quality! I think that it is very likely to work against you. It could distract from the moment, thinking about the click or the score in stead of 100% of what is, and keeping score stimulates a judging and an attachment, which is the opposite of what we want to achieve in mindfulness.

Peter

[Happyogababe]

Am I right in thinking that you want to try to slow down the rush of the day? From what you describe it seems that reducing work hours would be difficult at present, but something that could happen in the future?

I'm only thinking out loud here, so bear with me. Could you have a mindfulness reminder (I have Zazen lite, or Peter has a wristband that is more discreet...that I'm looking into) rather than the counter. That way you can (if possible, most times) make that time for returning to your senses. This can take anything from 30 seconds to ... well, however long you choose. I do this and it really helps to incorporate mindful moments throughout the day (and all the formal and 'spot meditations' filter out into the day meaning that I am mindful more and more during everyday activities). The best thing that works for me is doing three deep sighs, this relaxes body and calms mind fast. Imagine if you did twenty of those during the day (as Eric Harisson says) what difference would it make? I know in my experience it's made a big difference, in combination with the body scan meditation which really grounds me and helps me to pay attention to my body during the day. Now, when I 'check in' with a spot meditation I notice if my body is tense and what's going on in my mind.

You may feel differently at the end of the day. Also, I remember to tune into myself (with three sighs) each time I stand. If in company you can disguise it by breathing out through your nose instead of the mouth.

Sorry, got carried away. I'm just thinking in terms of what has really helped me this time around.

Best of luck.

[Mtb324]

Thanks guys, i tried a day off the counter today. Had a nice time in Target being mindful trying on clothes. On Monday im going to try some of your suggestions for taking short breathing breaks and see how it goes. Weird to be without the counter, its become like part of my hand haha. Matt

[JonW]

I like the analogy of the muddy water.
If you shake up a tumbler with mud in it, that's rather like our minds are in the normal course of events. Thoughts spinning endlessly.
If the tumbler is set to rest, the mud dutifully settles to the bottom of the glass and remains there, minding its own business. Similarly, we can observe that settling process happen to our thoughts when we meditate. With practice, at least in my experience, the undisturbed glass becomes the norm rather than the shaken-up glass.
Jon