How many of you live in the moment?

[MiM]

I've been practising for less than a year, or more exactly since last May. And my practice has been rather relaxed, I have done formal meditations several times a week, but for most of the time less than daily. In addition to that I do several mini-interventions every day, when I just briefly consciously collect my focus.

I believe many of the previous comments here were very good, and especially I do not believe that connectedness and enjoyment are in any way possible to force. They can only come to us naturally or as a consequence of doing a lot of other things right. Don't ask me what things, for one I don't know, secondly they will be different for you than for me. Listening to the wisdom of the more experienced participants here is probably a good start, though.

[JohnReset]

I think there are 3 skills to develop in order to reconnect with our senses (based on various researches I did):

1. Focus: the ability to selectively concentrate about something, e.g. the breath or the body.
2. Curiosity. I don't know how to develop it, but scientific studies demonstrate that curiosity is a fundamental component to cultivate awareness and mindfulness.
3. Senses. I mean how much your senses are trained. I recently noticed that when I eat I don't pay attention to what I'm eating and the taste of the food. So, I'm cultivating this sense. I'll also train the sight because I noticed that I cannot enjoy even the sunset...

I'm trying a new strategy according to these 3 skills, and if it works (it is working, something is changing) I think I'll write a thread about it.

And I have to say this: I do have goals. Maybe there are people who practise mindfulness without goals, and its'ok I'm not judging them, but there are many who practise it with a purpose. For example, to overcome anxiety (mindfulness is helping me with my social anxiety). It's not wrong having goals. We are humans and we do nothing if there is no reward, it's our nature. Don't criticize yourself. Don't lie to yourself that you don't have goals.

For me mindfulness is a tool, not a philosophy. A tool to reconnect with my senses, and I feel in my gut that it is working.

[JonW]

"Don't lie to yourself that you don't have goals."

This is a straw man argument. Nobody has suggested that it's wrong to have goals.
What has been suggested, by myself and others, is that mindfulness is not a goal-oriented practice. You can only be mindful in this moment. You cannot be mindful yesterday or tomorrow. As soon as you start thinking, "If I practice mindfulness I will be less anxious in six months time," you're not being mindful. You are saying, "I don't want this moment right now because it feels anxious. I want that moment six months away when I will feel less anxious as a result of all the meditation I've been doing."
You're turning mindfulness into another form of self-help whereby doing X will guarantee you Y. It doesn't work. Again, we're not trying to get anywhere with mindfulness. We are learning to be with what is, in this moment, without judgment. That's all she wrote.
If memory serves, John, you say you started the 8-week course only a few weeks ago. If I was you I'd give yourself time to ground yourself in the practice. Finding Peace In A Frantic World should be enough to focus on right now.
Cheers,
Jon

[Gareth]

Goals aren't a problem. It's only when we become overly attached to the goals that it can become problematic.

[JonW]

"Goals aren't a problem. It's only when we become overly attached to the goals that it can become problematic."

True dat.
Maybe it's also worth bearing in mind that our perception of what mindfulness is tends to change as our practice continues and deepens. Initially we might think of it as a tool which to use to improve our lives in some way. Over time, at least in my experience. mindfulness becomes embodied. So it's no longer something outside of myself that I use in some way; it is myself; it's how I relate to myself, others, and the world of nature.
Mindfulness is not so easy to pin down. Sometimes it can be akin to nailing jelly to the wall. The trick is not to trap it and mount it like a poor butterfly, but to live it. From moment to moment.
Jon

[JohnReset]

Goals aren't a problem. It's only when we become overly attached to the goals that it can become problematic.

Do not be overly attached by your goals. Be obsessed by them, live for them. But costantly remember to enjoy your journey, this is essential.

Do enjoy reality by all of your senses, not only by your breath or your sense of touch (for example when you do body scans). Feed all your senses, enjoy life.

[Peter]

With respect John, it strikes me that on the one hand you seek advice, on the other hand you keep disagreeing with the advice given.

Peter

[JonW]

"Do not be overly attached by your goals. Be obsessed by them."

Be obsessed by your goals?
Are you sure you are serious about learning about mindfulness, John?

[JohnReset]

With respect John, it strikes me that on the one hand you seek advice, on the other hand you keep disagreeing with the advice given.

Peter

I seek advices and I won't stop to do it. I'll never stop to learn and test on my skin.

But I am free to choose which advice to embrace.

Thanks for all your help.

"Do not be overly attached by your goals. Be obsessed by them."

Be obsessed by your goals?
Are you sure you are serious about learning about mindfulness, John?

Yes, I do. And not because Eckhart Tolle said, but because I said. Because mindfulness is concetrely helping me with my social anxiety and with developing my senses, concentration and the ability to live in the moment.

Thanks for all your replies.

[Mtb324]

While i think there may be an unforunate tone from the poster toward those offering help, i do kind of understand his frustration. Especially when in my stressfjl work environment, i often have trouble getting thru even a 10 second attempt at mindfulness without losing focus. Just cant do it...the thoughts are just racing...dont forget to talk to greg, gotta send that email, why did she have that look on her face etc... and for goal oriented people that can get frustrating. I dont know, i hear ya, be thankful for the mindful moments you do have, but for me, i wish i could get out of the mad rush of the day more as i mentioned i another post today