Hi everybody I'm Maria,
I'm really happy to be here, I love to share mindful thoughts with a mindful community
. I've been practicing daily mindfulness meditation for about 2 years and since the begining my overall picture of the practice and the meditation has changed a lot! Now it's like these 2 years mean less and less everyday.
I began practicing because of intense thoughts of fear, anxiety and depression. They haven't dissapeared. Sometimes for no reason I feel I have to escape, to run, my head explodes, the palms of my hands sweats, my heart is about to explode.
None of these are gone, but I haven't had any pannic attack in these 2 years, I've learned a new way to relate to all these reactions in my body and my brain and these situations are only disturbing me for a few minutes nowadays.
I can say, when I look back, that I have suffered a lot, but now I'm more concerned in the suffering of others --I would love to eradicate the anxiety, stress and the fear from the whole world! So here's my point in mindfulness meditation: the practice allows us to stay in an always completly opened mind, with whatever arises. The problem is that our head is wired with years and years of rejections and graspings to an amount of thoughts and emotions.
The real cause of suffering are our rejections and graspings, and all them are neutralized with the total openness of mind. Is like all these ANT's have to be looked from the boundless mind, all the time, over and over again. The practice is essential to get to that.
Now I'm in a particular stage where I think I need to retreat. Our modern lifes are so directed to do and do and always do and so far from the being state of mind that the retreats seem to be grate oportunities to rewire defenetly.