Acceptance

Post here if you are just starting out with your mindfulness practice. Mindfulness is a really difficult concept to get your head around at first, and it might be that you would benefit from some help from others.
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Steve
Posts: 277
Location: Oxford, UK

Sun Jul 27, 2014 9:23 pm  

Acceptance is something that many find hard in mindfulness, I certainly do. I've just read the following passage by Tara Barch and it helps me so thought I would share it.

"Sometimes, however, just the notion of allowing brings up vehement resistance. “What do you mean!” someone might say. “Am I supposed to accept that he betrayed me? “Am I supposed to say ‘yes’ to feeling self-loathing?” “To this awful anxiety?” In these situations it is important to point out that we are agreeing only the experience—in our body, heart, mind—in the present moment. We’re not being asked to accept the situation itself or another person’s behavior, just the felt experience, here and now. In fact, when resistance arises, or first step is to accept the experience of resisting. We are recognizing and allowing the disgust, the tension in the body, the
blaming thoughts, the aversion. As I often teach it, “You are saying ‘yes’ to your ‘no!’

The words that really help me are:

"We’re not being asked to accept the situation itself or another person’s behavior, just the felt experience, here and now."

Steve

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Steve
Posts: 277
Location: Oxford, UK

Sun Jul 27, 2014 9:24 pm  

correction: Tara Brach

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Gareth
Site Admin
Posts: 1465

Mon Jul 28, 2014 8:14 am  

Yes, this concept is quite alien for some people, but my experience is that radical acceptance brings with it an overwhelming amount of peace. I think this one is an Eckhart Tolle quote:

What could be more futile than resisting what already is?

scratchet
Posts: 19

Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:21 am  

thanks steve, that has really helped me.

JonW
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Practice Mindfulness Since: 08 Dec 2012
Location: In a field, somewhere

Mon Jul 28, 2014 10:31 am  

"We’re not being asked to accept the situation itself or another person’s behavior, just the felt experience, here and now."
Beautifully explained. Thanks Steve.
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FeeHutch
Posts: 1010
Practice Mindfulness Since: 01 Mar 2012
Location: Steel City
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Tue Jul 29, 2014 3:02 pm  

I've tried to explain how acceptance and mindfulness helps me deal with chronic pain in a hospital group today but I'm not sure I did such a good job as this does. :)
“Being mindful means that we take in the present moment as it is rather than as we would like it to be.”
Mark Williams

http://adlibbed.blogspot.co.uk/p/mindfulness-me-enjoy-silence.html
Find me on twitter - @feehutch

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