What Mindfulness MEANS.

[shackman]

I'm a beginner, so forgive my ramblings and , perhaps, my presumptiousness.
I was trying to explain to someone (me) what Mindfulness IS. There will be a myriad of answers to that, but one which I have become aware of through MY practise is this:
It's understanding the wonder of the simple act of breathing in and breathing out.
Everyone does that (the breathing) but it seems almost everyone takes it for granted.
For me, I first listened to Thay and Jon Kabat-Zinn and found their words, and their voices, inspiring. But I didn't get it.
My early practise went like this: Breathe in (Thought interruption: So what). Breathe out (Thought interruption: So what).
With more reading, I began to understand. It was when three teachers (JKZ, Thay and Gary (my NHS counsellor/teacher) all told me the same thing.
"Breathing in, this is my in-breath. Breathing out, this is my out-breath. When you do that, the mental discourse will stop."
I didn't realise until this weekend that even the thought interruptions which simply identified which breath each was would stop.
And so, today, I have been stopping what I'm doing every few minutes and trying it again, and it works. I breathe in, I breathe out and there is nothing but that amazing fact. I am breathing. Alive. Here, and Now!

[JonW]

Hi shackman.
I love that description. Thank you. Your enthusiasm is infectious!
Just one thing though...I'd gently suggest that we need to be careful when talking about "stopping" thoughts. If we set ourselves up to stop thoughts, we might be setting ourselves up to fail. After all, thoughts will never be stopped altogether. Nor would we want to stop all thoughts. Some thoughts can be extremely useful.
It's when negative thoughts begin to overpower us that the problems start, leading to anxiety, depression etc.
Mindfulness teaches us to welcome thoughts in, rather than push them away or fight with them. If we welcome them in, show them curiosity and compassion, see them for what they are ("mere secretions of the mind" as Jon Kabat-Zinn so beautifully puts it) their power over us tends to diminish.
So, in my view, and I don't claim to be any kind of expert, it's not about stopping the mental discourse, more about becoming more comfortable with it. With practice, we might find ourselves getting carried away by the thought stream less and less often. With practice, we're able to observe troubling thoughts without taking them personally, without feeling pained by them.
I hope this helps.
All best wishes, Jon

[Steve]

Just a thought (!) on stopping thoughts. Maybe when we are aware of the present moment, eg noticing and experiencing our in and out breaths, this gets us out of our head and into the real world of sensations and experiences. Thoughts may still be going on in our heads but as we are not engaging with them they pass by unnoticed (and without pulling our attention away from the present moment). Is this what some might refer to as 'stopping' thoughts?

Steve

[JonW]

That's an excellent point, Steve.
The noticing of thoughts is one of the great subtleties of mindfulness practice and can easily be misunderstood.
When we're engaged with, say, nature, there's a noticeable stilling of the mind. But thoughts will still arise. I try to spend at least an hour staring at the sea every day, which is blissful. My mind is usually very still when I'm engaged in such a way. But worries do arise. And that's fine.
As with everything, it's so important that we don't judge ourselves when thoughts arise. Self-compassion to the fore!

[Mindfulness Newbie]

Also, another JKZ (paraphrased) - thinking is not a problem in mindfulness meditation. We are not trying to stop thoughts, we simply make room for them.

What I find is that a thought arises and my focus on my (for example_ breath and belly is pulled away by that thought. I then refocus on my belly and breath. Not sure if this is 'right' but I think I fell into the trap before of trying to stop thoughts when I noticed them bubbling just beneath the level of consciousness. Now, I let them 'express themselves' then go back to the belly/breath.

[shackman]

Wow. Great feedback. No: I don't think I meant stopping thoughts, rather saying "hi" and then placing them on the back burner.

I love that we can - I can make contact with the real world in such a sensitive way. This thing obviously takes time but the fact that it can be practised almost immediately and that I can feel benefit from it too.

[JonW]

"Saying "hi" and then placing them on the back burner."
That's an excellent way of putting it.
Kabat-Zinn also talks about exploring the texture of "difficult" thoughts and feelings. I've found that to be enormously helpful. A thought or feeling becomes much less oppressive when you notice that it has no solidity. If we can be attentive to it without getting pulled away by it, it tends to leave by the side entrance of its own accord.
When a difficult thought arises my policy is to welcome it in but I choose not to put the kettle on, get the fancy cakes out or warm its slippers by the fire. I'm welcoming but I'm not THAT welcoming. Like any unwelcome visitor it tends not to stick around too long if you're not too hospitable.

[Gareth]

Noticing thoughts is a supremely powerful skill, one that has changed my life utterly. The more that you work at it, the better you get.

My favourite thing to 'work' on is the smartphone. The phone beeps, and there is an immediate thought telling you to pick up the phone. I love trying to 'catch' that thought and actually make a concious decision as to whether or not I should pick up the phone.

Recently I've been having smartphone free Wednesdays where I ignore all thoughts telling me to pick up the phone. It's been a really helpful exercise.