FPIAFW - Week 5: Turning Towards Difficulties

[JonW]

This week the book looks at how we deal with difficult thoughts and emotions.
As the authors write, "Whenever we're faced with a difficulty - whether it's the stress of a job, illness in ourselves or in a loved one, exhaustion or malignant sadness - it's only natural to try and push it away. We can do this in myriad ways, from endlessly trying to 'solve" it or by trying to ignore it or bury it under a pile of distractions. We all use these strategies, even though they may have stopped working years ago. Why?"
When I first read those words last year when I began my adventure into mindfulness, my answer to the question "why" was that I didn't know of any other strategies for coping with difficulties in my life. As I was finding out, mindfulness was teaching me a whole new way of relating to myself and the world.
In chapter five, Williams and Penman teach us how to turn towards whatever is troubling us and actually befriending it. The key to this is acceptance. As the authors write, "Acceptance allows the mind to embrace the true, deep understanding of how things really are. Acceptance is a pause, a period of allowing, of letting be, of clear seeing. Acceptance takes us off the hair trigger, so that we're less likely to make a knee-jerk reaction. It allows us to become fully aware of difficulties, with all of their painful nuances, and to respond to them in the most skilful way possible. It gives us more space and time to respond. And often, we may discover, the wisest way of responding is to do nothing at all."
Week five of the course can prove challenging for some. All the previous chapters have been leading up to this point. So far the meditations have been designed to enhance concentration and awareness to such a degree that one should be ready to embark on the Exploring Difficulty meditation. But it requires patience and this is where self-compassion truly come to the fore.
Be gentle with yourself.

Practices for week five:
8 minute Breath & Body meditation.
8 minute Sounds & Thought meditation.
10 minute Exploring Difficulty meditation.
Breathing Space meditation.
Habit Releaser - Sow some seeds or look after a plant.

[Gareth]

Not been too much uptake for weeks 4 & 5 has there? No matter, we can run these topics periodically (or even permanently) in the future. Make sure you get the intro text saved so that it's just a matter of pasting it in when we do the topics again.

[FeeHutch]

I am making each week a sticky thread so they will stay visible.


Is anyone else still working through the weeks? Dealing with difficulties can be an emotionally charged and challenging week but if anyone wants to share their experiences please do.

[Gareth]

I'm gonna have to do the course at some point, just so I know what I'm talking about.

I think 8 sticky topics at the top of the forum makes it look untidy. Maybe they could be announcements so they have a little section of their own at the top. This is probably not the right place to be having this conversation. Feel free to delete me Fiona. What say you Jon?

[larorra]

I found week 5 quite difficult and am now repeating it by choice according to week 7 so I chose to repeat the difficult situations and the other topic i liked was the movements so am working on those two this week. I have always tried to brush difficult situations inder the carpet so to speak but am finding it is better to face up to them now. Anyway will let you know how it goes.

[larorra]

Have now repeated the difficult situations med again and have Been Able to observe the emotions (mostly) with curiousity and am quote proud of myself and the difficult situation in my life doesnt seme so bad anymore and i feel more compassionate towards a family member. Glad i Stuck with it. The 8 week course now completed and i would. Recommend it, i will be redoing it from time to time.

[FeeHutch]

This has been very useful indeed for me this week. There has been a bereavement, illness, the threat of redundancy, endings, next steps and the list goes on.
I have noticed the pull of 'doing' mode has been incredibly strong, especially where the bereavement is concerned, even though I accept there is nothing I can do to make this any better for those directly impacted. Trying to be fully present and observe what is going on physically and emotionally with curiosity and compassion has been very helpful.

[calm_one]

The more I go through these weeks the more I notice that mindfulness is like CBT and ACT but with a much better way of doing it.

I have been battling with anxiety for about 8 months or so now and although I feel a lot better I still feel generally anxious and sad. My biggest problem is I have been trying to get rid of it, fighting it, putting out of my head. Its never really worked.

I can really relate to this week, its taken me months of CBT and finally reading this chapter to finally say "I just need to accept this"

I may still feel awful but I'm not trying to fight it (which has made me more positive)

Mindfulness has given me the tools on how to accept my problems, hopefully as I practice I can deepen this sense of acceptance.

I also now accept that fact that this is going to take months to master, not just the 8 weeks and as many of you keep saying practice practice practice.

[Gareth]

I can really relate to this week, its taken me months of CBT and finally reading this chapter to finally say "I just need to accept this"

Acceptance is a truly life-changing lesson. It is one of many that you will learn along the way. Keep practising and never, ever stop.

[Niloc]

I am finding" turning to difficulties" quite hard since you are instructed to concentrate on bodily sensations produced by the "difficulty". So far, I have not really experienced any sensations as such, at least not like the ones described in the book. How is it possible to make use of this particular meditation under this circumstance?