How to Train an Elephant (book)

[FeeHutch]

Stopping saying no was harder than I thought. It wasn't so much saying yes to questions or requests as it was saying no when others tried to reflect my thoughts back to me. It did make me realise though how blunt the word NO is and how it can stop conversations dead!

A few times I was aware of my almost default response to turn down unexpected offers of trips or social events. In order to manage my disabilities effectively, learning to say no has been an internal battle very hard fought. So sometimes it was the right choice not to say yes but I tried to decline thoughtfully. I also tried to practice self compassion when I made these choices.

Week 21 - See The Colour Blue
I like the idea of just trying to notice the detail of the world around us. A couple of weeks ago when we paid attention to trees I suddenly realised that the trees which line part of the walk to school and back stretch back further and is populated by far more varieties of trees than I had ever noticed before.

In the book it is mentioned that some students noticed the colour blue in every other colour too. I am starting a week over on the FPIAFW thread of body scan meditations and I remember that doing this meditation previously gave me a strong sense of different parts of my body being represented by different colours. I am mindful not to strive for this or expect it this time but it was something that felt 'right' at the time.

A visual prompt would be helpful for me this week, so I am going to hunt out a blue bead or button I can wear around my wrist to provide a prompt.

[Steve]

Yes (!) it is an interesting balance: there are situations (such as yours) where it is good to say 'no' but I guess we need to observe if this is an automatic response or a mindful one.

I have a tendency to automatically defend or be oppositional when anyone says anything that has an explicit or an implied criticism in it and it has been interesting just experiencing 'going with the flow' or just saying 'yes' when asked to do some chore rather than automatically reacting to the implied criticism that I don't do enough of the chores (its seems that if I take an opportunity to sit and rest or sit at the PC, it is automatically taken as a sign that I am not doing enough!).

It has also been good to say 'yes' without automatically stressing myself out with all the other thing on my to do list. Overall, observing my tendency to be a bit negative and instead just accepting things as they are by saying yes (internally sometimes) or by going along with someone's else's views even if they differ from mine has meant I have felt a bit less stressed out by things. It is also very easy to jump to negative conclusions and by saying 'yes' this automatically short-circuits the stress that causes even though the conclusion was wrong.

Seeing blue. This is gong to be a fascinating week - I will write more on this later.

Have a good week!

Steve

[FeeHutch]

You too
I've made my bracelet....

[Steve]

OK, some initial thoughts on the colour blue: as I think I have mentioned before, I often select a colour to be aware of when driving to work (25 mins) as its a good way of being aware and stopping me thinking/worrying about future/past events so spending a whole week on one colour is going to be interesting.

I find the concept of colour (and its effect on us) fascinating from several angles so just to give you plenty to think about this week, here are a few questions I ask myself:

How does the colour blue affect you? (Many say it represents calmness and serenity)
How is the colour blue used in man-made objects and why?
Why is is blue associated with boys/men?
How is the colour blue used in nature and why?
What is colour? We know we see different wavelengths of light as different colours and these are sensed in a particular way by the retina but the brain somehow interprets these as 'colours'.
Do we all see the same colour in the same way?

NB I'm aiming to think about the mental/perceptual aspects rather than the physics (although I find the latter a good starting point).

That should keep us busy this week!

Steve

[Steve]

Random blue things so far this week:

Blue is not really one of my favourite colours but the strongest association it has for me is a blue sky (which does equate to calmness and relaxation)

Still struggling to find many blues in nature (which maybe one reason its not a favourite colour).

I realised that by 'blue awareness' seemed to disappear at work. So today I discovered that my office chair is blue - amazingly I had never noticed before despite sitting in it at least 7 hrs a day!!

Cycle route signs are blue which is a god association for me).

Don;t know why 'feeling blue' or 'blue movies' are associated with the colour blue.

Just imagine what it would be like if we saw only in black and white.

Steve

[FeeHutch]

I've noticed a lot of blues when I've been out and about on floors, signs, fixtures etc. The most startling one though was the different shades of blue sky. There was a large white cloud in the sky and it seemed to make the distinction between the shades much more obvious and it stuck with me.

I can't see much blue in nature though either Steve and am more a green girl too.

[Steve]

Yes, blue sky seems to be the predominant connection with the colour blue - but only when we look up and become aware of more than our two-dimensional terrestrial world - maybe we should have eyes on the top of our head as well! Even when the sky is not blue, I find the never ending variety of artwork created by clouds fascinating (for those interested try looking up (Ha ha) the cloud appreciation society!).

I spotted another one yesterday - blue in a rainbow!! And someone with blue eyes (2 more natural occurrences of blues)

I've enjoyed this week and anyone wants to read more about colours and their meaning/uses, I found the following source
http://www.metaphorik.de/10/philip.htm

Steve - who's managed to banish the blues this week

[FeeHutch]

So blue has been an interesting week for us both I think Steve?

Do you know, I was in the cinema last Sunday and one of the songs they played before the adverts started was Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65. I could post a link to it but that would probably count as inflicting pain on your ears so I won't. Anyway, it made me smile

Week 22 - Bottoms of the Feet

As often as possible during the day place awareness in the bottoms of your feet. Become aware of the sensations on the bottoms of the feet such as the pressure of the floor or ground beneath the feet, or the warmth or coolness of the feet. It is particularly important to do so whenever you notice yourself becoming anxious or upset.

I am mindful of my feet a lot of the time because I have bone deformity and chronic pain in my feet. An operation to correct them failed and left a large scar and for a while I hated my feet. Recently I have cut down on my pain meds (they aren't that useful) and tried to work on accepting the pain and embracing my scarred, lumpy, lovely feet. My physio told me to walk mindfully, to ensure my foot was going through the correct, full roll of movement because unconscious I try and avoid putting pressure on the painful joints but it just gives me pain in other places instead. Jan writes

when we are aware of the bottoms of the feet, our balance improves and we are more sure footed.

I can't stand or walk for long in bare feet but there is something simple but profound about standing on earth or grass or sand or in the sea. Something about feeling fully connected with your body and the world. I used to think that was some old hippy crap but as we have found there is something very personal and real in hugging a tree, watching the sky.... which reminds me, this popped up on my facebook feed:
https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/ ... 3341_n.jpg
(If I try and put it into the post the image is too big )

[Steve]

Glad to hear you've had a good 'blue' week too. It's made me really appreciate colours - the world would be so drab iin black and white! The sky is something we probably don't look at enough - it always makes one take a step back and its hard not to be mindful when looking at the sky. It also makes me remember that there is so much more to this world/universe and makes whatever problem I am thinking about seem so much less significant and makes me realise that whether or not I am enjoying my environment is really up to me - the environment is still there and just the same whether I am feeling down or feeling good.

Bottom of the feel this week then - as you say our connection to the earth. Sounds as if you have challenges but being mindful helps you with these. Thinking how you place your feet on the ground as you walk ought to help encourage good foot movement.

I do enjoy having bare feet and this has been much emphasised by doing a bit of yoga. Unless its cold, I now rarely wear more than socks on my feet indoors and prefer bare feet when its warm. The feet feel so many more sensations and feel so much more connected to the ground/earth when bare.

Have a good week

Steve

PS I enjoyed looking at Blue on youtube and loved the jpg

[Steve]

I have managed to be aware of the soles of my feet on a number of occasions this week – much more when at home and when in bare feet (or socks) as this provides many more tactile sensations (I’m wondering about the advantages of textured/knobby insoles for providing more sensations when in shoes) and a more direct experience of and connection with the ground.

Being aware of the soles of the feet has also been effective in ‘bring me back down to earth’ – making me more aware of my presence in the physical world and that we are all the same in this respect – we are no different from each other; every body engages the ground with their feet when we stand or walk.

This week has also been about being more ‘body aware’ and I have found that having bare feet is a wonderful way of feeling more connected with the real world and the present moment. I must admit that I have extended this to more than just the feet and found this incredibly liberating – no ‘mask’, no role play, no pretence – just me, experiencing the present moment without any encumbrance (but given society's conventions/hang-ups may be I shouldn't reveal this!).

I haven't looked up next week yet but will do so shortly.

Steve