How to Train an Elephant (book)

[larorra]

I know what you mean Fiona,, I hardly practice Saturdays and sundays as have a house full of grandkids and by sunday evening am feeling a bit stressed. (much better though than the days before mindfulness) but still, I make up for it during the week.

[FeeHutch]

Yep its finding the balance.
I like to think of time spent with my girls as 'active practice'

[FeeHutch]

Week 19
Relax and focus on your hands for moments through the day.
I really enjoyed this one, I loved how immediate it felt, how I could do this at any point, in any situation. I go through stages of wearing bracelets or not and one suggestion is the book to remind you to do the task is to wear a different bracelet. I haven't done it this week but am going to try it from now on because I will benefit from the reminder as I concentrate on other tasks.

Week 20

Just say YES
Where it doesn't put you or anyone else in danger say Yes when you want to say no. Notice the impulse to disagree and if you don't say yes you could nod, or just be pleasant but silent.
My first thought is that this is something I have been trying to impliment with my children for a long time. I noticed the habit several years ago to say no to requests without considering the request/question. My own counsellor encouraged me to take a breath, ask myself 'what's the worst that could happen' before saying yes or no. When I am feeling down or stressed out my gut reaction is to turn down invites to socialise, when I have ignored that and seen friends anyway I invariably have fun - once I let myself.

Paying attention to your decisions can highlight the incongruity between what you feel and what you say can be hard sometimes but ultimatley I really believe it can be very empowering and helpful. But then the therapy model I work with holds that idea very dear so I would say that

I hope you are OK Steve. I spotted on another thread your comments about having a tough time at the moment.

[Steve]

Fee - sounds like last week worked for you

I noticed that my hands were relaxed when I was lying down or meditating or when I was walking and this helped maintain the stress free feeling. I also managed to make sure I was not gripping things tensely or fidgeting with my hands at other times.

When the hands were relaxed and still it did seem that the rest of the body (and mind) then followed so it seems a good way of easily slipping into a moment of relaxed awareness

Saying Yes. Mmm, in some cases that could be a challenge - but then that's what we're meant to be doing

I was expecting you to say this would be challenging with young children so was pleasantly surprised to hear that it not necessarily the case. Mine are teenagers so the most often request (more usually demand!) is for me to taxi them somewhere - not sure the answer will always be yes!

Thanks for asking after me - I am feeling remarkably OK at the moment despite the unsatisfactory state of my relationship. This may be partly due to being able to detach myself from the pain and sadness this can involve and partly due to reading a very powerful letter by Harry Benson to 'fix it rather than break it' - I just need to get my other half to accept reality and work on it too.

[FeeHutch]

I am cheerfully dreading the teen years I freely admit.
It sounds like you have a lot going on right now but are managing to be mindful in the midst which is no easy task.
Take care

[FeeHutch]

Outside my office at uni there are 2 huge and beautiful oak trees. I quite often watch and listen to them between clients because I find it very peaceful.
I just got an email to say one had been very badly damaged in the gale winds. It has been totally condemned as it is been discovered it is badly diseased. This has made me feel very sad and that I do, indeed, want to go and give that tree a hug. Steve I thought you might understand.

[Steve]

Yes, that phase of it's existence is coming to an end but everything changes in time can you get a piece to keep or reuse?
Steve

[FeeHutch]

It will have been hauled off by the uni servies team before I am in next as it is in a dangerous position.
Yes all things come in cycles and I am sure it will get recycled. Really was a majestic tree

[Steve]

I wouldn't be surprised if there were some bits remaining after they clear it or maybe someone else could get a piece for you. If there is any usable timber in it (which is likely), it will be put to good use and lots of other lifeforms will be supported by the rotting remainder somewhere. I wonder if they will remove the stump or leave it their for you to sit/stand on?

Maybe you should hug the other tree as it may be feeling lonely!

Steve

[FeeHutch]

I wouldn't be surprised if there were some bits remaining after they clear it or maybe someone else could get a piece for you. If there is any usable timber in it (which is likely), it will be put to good use and lots of other lifeforms will be supported by the rotting remainder somewhere. I wonder if they will remove the stump or leave it their for you to sit/stand on?

Maybe you should hug the other tree as it may be feeling lonely!

Steve

I will have a good look when I go in again on Thursday. Even if I could find a few little bits to pop in my compost bin that would be nice