How to Train an Elephant (book)

[FeeHutch]

So week 8 was about Gratitude At The End Of The Day, recording 5 things a day that we were grateful for.

In some ways this has been easy and in others hard. I have gone to Disneyland this week, been able to share magical experiences with my family and as it also marked the second anniversary of my near fatal haemorrhage, finding gratitude just for breathing has been easy. In other ways though this week has been harder because it brings up painful and traumatic memories and I have had to work extra hard to accept but not become consumed by these.

Meditating for a few moments before sleep about the things I am grateful for is a habit I have been working on cultivating since I began my mindfulness journey and I find it very valuable. It is also something that has helped me deal with a lack of empathy and compassion from my college as I try to finish a qualification I was completing before I got ill. They have made me very distressed, angry, anxious and on some occasions totally demoralised. I have found thinking about the way others have been supportive and understanding and being grateful for that has helped me to avoid the negative feelings consuming me. It isn't that I have ignored them or don't care just that I have found a way to move forward despite them.

So week 9 is really listening to sounds, not trying to name them, just really listening.
There was a meditation similar to this in the 'Finding Peace In A Frantic World' book which I may practice this week again alongside the suggested 'just stop and listen'. One thing I remember really clearly is that when I started my mindfulness practice I stopped listening to my iPod none stop when I was out and about. One day I was standing at a bus stop and suddenly became aware of this noise. I couldn't work out where it was coming from or what it was. This sort of stunned me because it wasn't something I had really experienced before. Slowly I realised it was the sound of hanging branches in the graveyard next to the bus stop gently swaying over a headstone. It really stuck with me that there was so much I didn't hear and in that particular case, hadn't heard in the 8 years I had been using that bus stop!

[Steve]

Sounds like you have already made use of gratitude to help you on your journey - that's good to hear. The biggest thing I noticed was that it does encourage you to notice and remember the good points during a day which is a great anti-dote to the minds tendency to spend lots of time on negative things - mulling over past events or worrying about future ones. I do think that always being negative tends to be self-fulfilling; its much more fun to see the positive side of things and then wonder at the happy 'coincidences' that arise.

Looking back through my daily lists it also shows that I was being mindful in noticing things - particularly nature and when people were being nice, as well as appreciating things that I tend to take for granted (having a healthy family, living in the countryside etc etc).

Next week is listening to sounds. One of the earliest benefits of being mindful I experienced was to notice birdsong. It amazed me that almost whenever you go outside, you can hear birds singing (and some of them really sing their hearts out!). There is of course nearly always birdsong but how often do we actually hear it? This is still one of the main things that indicates to me if I am being mindful or not (when I'm outdoors) - can I hear any birds singing? I shall enjoy this week and aim to do some 'listening' meditations too.

have a good week

Steve

[larorra]

Wow sounds! Like you feehutch when i stopped listening to my mp3 as i walked to work each day Was delighted to hear the birds sing, just the past couple of days they seem to be singing more, i put it down to the lighter mornings and evenings which i so look forward too after the winter, but when you really listen there are so Many nature sounds around us, leaves rustling in the breeze, sound of ones own footsteps, listen to the weather, rain, wind etc, people, children, really listen to what your child/grandchild have to say, give them your full attention, How often are we having an adult conversation and dont really listen when out children ask something? Listen with your eyes, heart and soul through mindfulness.

[here]

One day I was standing at a bus stop and suddenly became aware of this noise. I couldn't work out where it was coming from or what it was. This sort of stunned me because it wasn't something I had really experienced before. Slowly I realised it was the sound of hanging branches in the graveyard next to the bus stop gently swaying over a headstone. It really stuck with me that there was so much I didn't hear and in that particular case, hadn't heard in the 8 years I had been using that bus stop!

Hahaha crazy, isn't it!

[larorra]

its going a bit off the subject of sounds but isnt it true that all the senses are enhanced through mindfulness?

[FeeHutch]

its going a bit off the subject of sounds but isnt it true that all the senses are enhanced through mindfulness?

I'd agree with you definitely

[Steve]

Are there 2 things going on here? First it seems like your senses are enhanced because you notice sensations that have always been their but you were too busy thinking about other things to really experience. Second, as you practice using and noticing sensations more, your mind (not your eyes ears or whatever) learns how to notice finer differences and actually develops its ability to do so (like a blind person develops their ability to sense tiny inputs so they are able to read braille).

Steve

[FeeHutch]

So week 9 was all about listening to the sounds around us. What I found difficult about this week was the idea of not attaching any names or meanings to the sounds. It was so easy to get caught up what the sounds were and what they meant. If I was at home and I could hear my children and my husband I got caught up in whether the voices were happy, whether they were arguing or being told off and that then took my thoughts off in various directions.

At other times it was easier. I have several issues with my hearing and wear a white noise generator in my ear quite often. Sometimes I am more aware of it than others so I tried to notice that too. The noise is soothing because it is nothing I tried to listen to other noises in the same way.

Week 10 is about stopping and taking a breath or 3 before answering the phone. I don't deal with the phone that much anymore because I have difficulties there so I am going to use the books other suggestion of using a mindfulness bell. I had an app installed previously on my tablet and the bell would sound out at different, unpredictable times. But I stopped paying attention and either no longer really heard the bell or didn't stop and take the breath when it sounded. The book tells me I'm not alone in finding this difficult it is always nice to know you aren't the only one struggling!

So I have already reinstalled the app and set it to ring every couple of hours or so and resolved to take it one bell at a time.

[Steve]

Yes, I had the same problem, I found it fairly easy to be aware of sounds but very difficult to just hear them just as sounds without interpreting them or judging them or getting carried off into something associated with the sounds. I was listening to some chainsaws at one stage cutting down some trees I wish they would leave. I tried reframing the noise into a different context and imagined I was stranded in a jungle and it was the sound of people cutting a path through the trees to rescue me. This did help help neutralise the negative connotations normally associated with the noise. But I need to practice more to try to quiet the minds activity as soon as a noise is heard.

I also noticed internal noises quite a lot (breathing, heart beating, tummy rumbles, chewing etc) and this helped me be mindful of the body I'm occupying.

I have the Mindfulness Bell app on my phone as well. I do hear it in my pocket several time a day but rarely stop for a breath or two so this week I will have to make sure I do. I find myself pre-occupied with a variety of things recently and hearing the bell (which is a sound I like and means 'calm' to me) helps ensure I am not completely taken over by things for a long stretch of time but it would be much better to use this to pause for breath before continuing.

Have a good week.

Steve

[FeeHutch]

Have a good week too Steve.
I just realised we are nearly a fifth into our year of elephant training now. I'm so grateful to you for sharing the book here. Its a valuable part of my practice and I look forward to sharing my experience every week and reading yours.