How to Train an Elephant (book)

[Steve]

Yes, I can imagine that leaving no trace in the kitchen would be a significant challenge. You could start with just one small area, a table, a work surface or somewhere in another room.

My bedroom is relatively easy to keep tidy but I still feel this has helped me think more about other spaces and I am gradually getting my desk more orderly too as a result. So starting small and then letting it grow at a rate that suits you is definitely worthwhile.

I too have not even looked at week 3 - I don't want to get distracted from week 2 and it gives something to look forward to on Monday morning!

Steve

[FeeHutch]

It also doesn't help that we are in the middle of a mass clear out so there are piles of 'stuff' everywhere.

It is something prompted by being more mindful though, we only have a small house and I started thinking how much we have that we don't use and wouldn't it be better to give it away or send it to charity so that it can help other people. It also made me think about being attached to physical items and how we can get so caught up in the idea that by having certain items it will make our lives better. None of this means I will soon be living in a bare house soon or anything but this weeks task has really made me think

[FeeHutch]

So for week 3 we have to try and avoid filler words.
My initial reaction was to think 'I just can't do that!' My speech sometimes gets confused still or I stop in the middle of a thought and I um and ahh until I can get both my mind and mouth back on track. Interestingly my second thought was to notice how scared I was of failing and how quickly I came up with a reason this might be a difficult challenge.

One of the things I have been trying to do since I first started practicing mindfulness is to listen properly and consider my responses. Suddenly it doesn't seem impossible to take a couple of seconds to think before I speak. Knowing what I want to say before I say it should make it easier to avoid filler words. I also think that in my situation rather than try and cover up the problems I have when I forget a word or an entire thought by babbling or using filler words I could try to just say I am having difficulties - or even not say anything.

Another interesting week ahead!

[Steve]

Good luck with the clearout!

Review of week 2: leave no trace
It was good to find myself actually tidying up, folding clothes etc rather thn 'leaving it until later', ie letting a pile build up which being an unfinished task adds to my todo list and so causes stress. This felt good: shows I can control what I do with my time rather than feeling I am forever trying to keep up with all the things to do and hence not the master of my time.

Finding the motivation to do those littel things that make everything else easier was not actually hard - they are just little things = yet the outcon=me is feelingg calmer and more in control of your life.

The temptation to skip it just this once has to be resisted - it provides immediate satisfaction (order, tidiness, completion); this helps resist the temptation.

As the book says, in a broader sense, we want to leave the world no worse than we found it - indeed it would be good to leave it in a better state - our only traces being the results of our positve efforts and the good memories we leave with others.

I'm going to wait until tomorrow before thinking about wek 3.

Steve

[Steve]

OK week 3! Noticing and trying to eliminate filler words (ums, errs, you knows etc) in speech

Very different! I used to belong to Toastmasters so know that I use 'erm' a lot and frequently don't notice myself doing it. We had several techniques to try to stop using filling words. They are often used when you are trying to get your thoughts sorted out - its much better to actually pause and use silence instead. Spaces in your speech initially seem wrong but in fact they are perfectly fine and often effective in improving your speech (especially if the pause has allowed you brain to improve what you are going to say).

You can also become aware of filler words when listening to others speak - even some politicians use many filler words - and you appreciate that filler words detract from the fluency of your speech and make what you are saying harder to understand.

I might try the voice recorder on my phone to listen to myself - sure to be an eye opener!

Steve

[FeeHutch]

I've found it interesting observing my speech patterns, in particular my habit of trailing off mid sentence and waiting for others to complete my thought.
Paying attention to what I want to say before it comes out of my mouth has been a very useful habit to begin to cultivate. I want to keep it up
This week I will be paying attention to my hands. Yet another task that feels very appropriate. I'm under going more tests as I have various issues with lack of sensation and pain in my hands. Sometimes they frustrate me. Being more mindful of them might help me appreciate what they can do

[Steve]

Report on week 3 (filler words)

I found this difficult as, first, I don't usually say very much (I didn't realise how little!) abd secondly as i find itvery difficult to be mindful when speaking - i am so concerned to defend myself against someones implied criticism or thinking about what to say next that anything else goes out of the window.

Ive tried to notice when I don't speak words clearly or tryo to make sure that my tone is lighthearted so it is not heard as criticalor grumpy.

I need to pause, breath and then RESPOND to what someone says rather than trying to react as quickly as possible. This is something I am going to have to continue working on.

The book says clarity of thought leads to clarity of expression - this makes a lot of sense but first I need to overcome the nervousness I seem to have in expressing myself - even to my wife and family.

The new task for this week is 'Appreciating your hands' - watching your hand as if they belonged to a stranger - it will be intersting to see if I can detach my connection with them and where this leads.

Steve

[FeeHutch]

Hello again
So week 4 was all about appreciating your hands. I enjoyed this and found it easier to remember than some of the other tasks. I noticed I've started using hand cream more to nourish and protect them from the cold weather. I feel more accepting of the pain I get in my hands and am calmer about the possibility of losing more sensation and movement in them.
I've just started to learn guitar and have noticed the indentation caused by the strings and the way manipulation my fingers is getting easier the more I practice.
Week 5 is mindful eating, when I eat or drink I should do nothing else and fully concentrate and experience my food or drink. It made me laugh when I read this chapter this morning. I don't read ahead and so had no idea this would be my challenge when I posted an article about mindful eating over in the resources section.
I guess I have no choice but to get on with it now, mindful eating is my biggest stumbling block but I do feel more enthusiastic about trying this week than I usually do!

[Steve]

Hi there
This week has really made me appreciate the huge range of task our hands are involved in and how their fine manipulation and co-ordination happens virtually unconsciously - its like I give a top level instruction (eg to write a word) and all sorts of sub-programs are automatically executed without conscious thought.

This is where practice comes in, when you are practised at something, like writing or driving, most of it happens automatically - I guess this is when you are 'in the flow'. Learning to play a musical instrument is another great example of this (as you will no doubt discover!) - practice, practice, practice until all those sub-programs happen without conscious thought and you can then direct the music you want to play.

On the one hand its great to practice something to reach the stage where the implementation is unconscious and you are are just the director, on the other hand, mindfulness encourages us to become more aware of the details of living. I'm not sure how to reconcile this.

As the book mentions, our body also seems to be able to 'see' even when its dark. I guess that sensory input, eg touching things with our hands or listening to sounds, forms a mental image much as sight does. This can be highly developed, as in blind person reading braille or a bat which is able to 'see' via its sonar radar.

I had noticed how our hands work together as a team, anticipating and supporting the other (and never arguing!). This would be a great model for the partnership with one's spouse (although not sure how realistic the no arguing bit might be!).

I'll read up on the food bit later. I expect you may have done the raisin meditation before - but if not, then sounds like a good week to try it!

Steve

[FeeHutch]

I already play the ukulele and learning a new instrument has really made me aware that something can start of being such a challenge and quickly become routine.
When I started learning the ukulele again after my haem I had to really think constantly what chord I needed to play next and how I needed to move my fingers. Then one day I realised I was playing without looking at my fingers!
I have done the raisin meditation a few time and struggle even with that, going to be another interesting week!