CJ's story

[JonW]

Hi Craig,
Why does it need to be a fight or a battle?
This is not the language of mindfulness. This not our practice.
Part of our mindfulness practice is to respond to situations with self-compassion and compassion for others. Along with attention, compassion is the central pillar of mindfulness practice.
This is not about engaging in a fight. It is not about winning.
Mindfulness is about being with our moment to moment experience just as it is; responding mindfully and skilfully in situations, rather than reacting out of blind habit. It is about maintaining equilibrium in the face of incessant change.
It is a gentle process. Not a battle. We learn to pay attention in a natural, effortless way - not in a driven, effortful, goal-oriented, willful, embattled kind of way.
The poet Jane Hirshfield explains it beautifully: 'You aren’t doing anything but offering up your attention, yet somehow that ‘doing nothing’ allows mind, body, emotion, the rain on the roof, to come together and reveal themselves. It’s as if you were to sit very quietly in the woods. After a while, the animals begin to emerge, and you see the full amplitude of life that it in fact already there. The intention is to live your whole life in that kind of awareness.'
Best wishes,
Jon

[CraigJ123]

Because I'd had enough and it was a build up from over months of being mugged off. I couldn't help it.

My views are to respect others and be considerate but I have a condition which sets off headaches and stress when people are behaving in an ignorant manner.

I realise it was not the way to go about things. I've raised requests to managers and colleagues to be mindful of my condition thousands of times but they do not care one jot.

Hopefully it's out my system and I can be a bit more wise with my actions in future and go about things the right way.

I've struggled with confidence to communicate for many years and also this condition.

Hopefully being more aware of being in the present will help me be less angry towards others even if they are very disrespectful.

[JonW]

I can see how that condition would make things challenging at times, Craig. And I hope my post didn't come across as too critical. On the forum, I find its helpful, especially to newcomers to the site, to throw out gentle reminders of what practice is really about.
It's great to hear that you are prepared to work mindfully with these challenges. In my experience, pretty much every situation can be met with mindfulness and there's no situation that isn't made easier, even better, when mindful attention is brought to bear.
All good things your way,
Jon

[CraigJ123]

No, it's all gratefully appreciated.

Things are quiet today in the office, although this may be due to the Radio DJ (the one that puts the radio on) is on holiday, so I've been quite calm today and my mind is not as busy.

Did some mindfulness eating with Pizza yesterday. It was good, but reminded me I need to eat more healthily!

[Gareth]

I got so excited when I contemplated mindful eating. Then I realised that I had pretty much been doing it for my whole life anyway (luckily).



Get yourself some consistent practice in, Craig, and see where it takes you. Enrol on a course, or follow one in a book.

[JonW]

'Enrol on a course, or follow one in a book.'

This is excellent advice.
Without some kind of structured approach, it can be very difficult to maintain a mindfulness practice.
Also, it's not particularly helpful to rate your progress (or lack of it) day by day. This is not about making your mind less chattery with each passing day. It doesn't work like that. It's not like following a strict diet and ensuring that you lose a pound of weight every day. That kind of controlled vigilance only leads to more anxiety and self-criticism. This is about the long game - gradually making mindfulness a way of being. And you can't be mindful tomorrow. You can only be mindful RIGHT NOW. We are waking a path that is no other than RIGHT HERE. We're not trying to get anywhere. We're being with whatever is arising in this moment, and this moment, and this moment.
Cheers,
Jon

[CraigJ123]

Well at this moment I'm mindfully drunk and very tired, ready for a good few zzzzz's.

[CraigJ123]

... followed swiftly by a mindfulness hangover.

I aim to try do more mindfulness eating as I'm a very fast eater to help with my weight loss plan.

[CraigJ123]

Focussing on mindfullness excercising at the moment. Hoping to lose a couple of stones.

[Gareth]

Hoping to lose a couple of stones.

Goals are fine, but don't allow them to detract from the present moment. And don't use them as a stick to beat yourself with.

I really do recommend that you follow the structure of a course. Although mindfulness is extremely simple, it's very tricky to really grasp the practice when you have been living your whole life in a different way.