My new blog on mindfulness experience and happiness

[hanqiangycl]

Hello everyone,

Very thrilled to have found this forum. I've been practicing midnfulness since last year and it really has changed my life and made me generally a much happier and positive person.

I've recently launched my new blog https://secretlife.blog/

In this blog, I wanted to share my stories and ongoing search for happiness and peace with the world. It's still very early work, but I would be thrilled if you could visit my blog and give me some advice/suggestions/opinions.

Hope you all the very best

[JonW]

Hi hanqiangycl,
Welcome to the forum.
I enjoyed looking at your blog. Some good stuff there.
This comment stopped me in my tracks though:
'Being mindful is about taking a step back and observe our emotion as if observing a separate person.'
That implies a distancing from emotion which is not the idea of mindfulness at all, at least not as I understand it. If we are holding an emotion in awareness, there is no requirement to observe that emotion 'as if observing a separate person.'
Any thoughts?
All best wishes,
Jon

[SophieAlvarez]

Hello all!

I am writing this reply in response to Jon's comment to the notion he found on your blog that says, 'Being mindful is about taking a step back and observe our emotion as if observing a separate person.' to which Jon responded,
"That implies a distancing from emotion which is not the idea of mindfulness at all, at least not as I understand it. If we are holding an emotion in awareness, there is no requirement to observe that emotion 'as if observing a separate person."

As it turns out, taking the position of the observer is a factual tenant of mindfulness. It is, in fact, all about watching your emotions and thoughts from a place that is removed from the self. (aka the observer) This does not imply that we are escaping from those thoughts and emotions, or that we are unable to hold them in our awareness in this way; actually, it is in taking this position that we are able to hold our emotions in awareness at all. As we know, our thoughts are NOT a direct perception of reality, and we use mindfulness to get in touch with what is truly happening in the present moment. To do this, we must distance ourselves from our emotions. To enter into true awareness is to enter into a sort of "meta-awareness"- when we are aware of our awareness- and in turn our thoughts and emotions- rather than having them muddle our sense of reality. So taking the position of the observer is how we remove ourselves from what our perceptions and emotions tell us is happening, and is what gives us the clarity that enables us to hold our emotions in awareness and recognize them, acknowledge them, accept them, and allow them to be, just as they are. Not getting lost in them, not running away from them or ignoring them, but experiencing them and being open to the present moment, and in turn understanding our own internal emotional states. It is in fact, the only way to be truly aware!

Hope this made sense! Please comment with any questions

[Gareth]

You are right in the fact that during meditation, we are indeed acting as an observer of the things that enter our awareness, including our emotions. This observer is still you, though. That point is a critical facet of mindfulness, in my opinion. Learning that I am something beyond passing mental and physical phenomena has been the thing that has changed my life the most, really.

In your reply you say, "we must distance ourselves from our emotions". I don't think that this is the mindfulness way at all. Mindfulness asks that we fully feel our emotions, so that they might run their course naturally, not leaving unresolved fragments within us.

[JonW]

'To enter into true awareness is to enter into a sort of "meta-awareness"- when we are aware of our awareness- and in turn our thoughts and emotions- rather than having them muddle our sense of reality.'

With respect, this sounds like a lot of over-thinking to me. I don't go along with the 'awareness of awareness' idea and would prefer to think of noticing what is being experienced than distancing oneself from what is happening. To me, the difference is crucial.
The question of 'who is observing?' might be an interesting one but I don't think it's a particularly useful area, particularly for newcomers to meditation.
I prefer to keep it simple as I believe mindfulness is a simple practice.
But that's only my opinion.
Best,
Jon