Mindfulness Didn't Last Longer

[Ibnezubair]

My Present Issue
About a year ago, through internet, I came across the concept of mindfulness. I tried, but could not be successful. About more than a month ago, I gave mindfulness another try. This time it was very successful. For about three weeks, I remained without much stress, anxiety, anger and other troubles. But then its effect continued to decrease. After a week, I am feeling as if I have lost all the benefits. Again I am experiencing anger and aggression attacks, along with panic attacks.
Will someone advise, what should I do now, to attain again the same peace and tranquillity that I experienced during my best three weeks, I have told about.

A Brief History
Long long ago, I learned relaxation exercises during a counselling session. That was not mindfulness, it was just relaxing body muscles. During this time I kept doing such exercises but not regularly. There were great breaks. Ten years ago, during a counselling session, I was taught deep meditation in which I have to visualize a beautiful scene (15 to 20 minutes duration). It proved very helpful. But when I started going deep to get out of unpleasant feelings and thoughts, my blood pressure started raising. So I have no option except quitting meditation.
After many years, I again gave them a try. This time meditation did not raise my blood pressure. But I could not continue to practice them regularly, until I started again with the concept of mindfulness more than a month ago, as I have already told.

[Peter]

Hi Ibnezubair,

Welcome to the site.

Mindfulness isn't some switch you can flick to make everything okay. It is a lifetime commitment, and it's effects are mostly very gradual.

The only thing you can do is give it your attention. There might be an effect, or there might not be. Don't be concerned with the effect. The more you want the effect, the further away from it you are.

Peter

[monkey]

Hi Ibnezubair. I think it's quite common for people to have a period when they first start when they find sitting meditation very relaxing. But, as you say, there is no consistent effect of meditation. It's about practising seeing what your mind is doing when you stop and look. So it's not always going to be effective. I have periods when I am pretty calm and positive generally, and periods when I feel very anxious and low. I've found that at those times particularly I need to get back to the basics of the practice, just sitting and focusing on breath for me, and stop putting any pressure on myself to be a certain way or achieve a certain thing. Gradually there will be shifts but, as Peter says, it's very gradual and also, I've found, very subtle.

[Ibnezubair]

Thank you for your responses.
The problem due to which mindfulness is not working is that I am failing to be mindful of the present moment most of the time. Earlier, I was successful in being mindful of the present moment, eg while eating, driving, taking bath etc. Now I am mindful only during meditation. After meditation there is a constant train of thoughts, before which I feel helpless. I try to be mindful, but powerful stream of thoughts does not let me. This is happening for more than one week, and it is the main reason I feel that mindfulness is no more beneficial for me.
Will someone help me out, and will suggest how to focus in present moment during some activity, instead of flowing with the stream of thoughts?

[piedwagtail91]

Being mindful isn't a magical solution to life.
It doesn't fix anything.
It helps you to see life as it is, see what's real rather than what your thoughts try to tell you is real.
What you learn about yourself, your thoughts and body senses in practice/Meditation should in time, with practice, help you see thoughts, judgements and criticisms in daily life and let them go just as in practice.
It's not about finding tranquility or peace, that's meditating for a purpose and it's doomed to failure because life is constantly changing.
That's why Meditation is never the same twice.
Acceptance of what is brings peace.

[Ibnezubair]

Thanks to all.

[JonW]

Hi Ibnezubair,
It would be useful to know what kind of structure you have to your practice and what kind of meditations you are doing.
Best,
Jon

[Peter]

Being mindful isn't a magical solution to life.
It doesn't fix anything.

In its core, mindfulness offers another perspective. Which, one might argue, COULD fix a lot.

Peter

[JonW]

'In its core, mindfulness offers another perspective. Which, one might argue, COULD fix a lot.'

Nicely put. But what is ever fixed? We seem to live in this dream that we can fix life somehow.
It's a complete delusion.
Jon

[Peter]

'In its core, mindfulness offers another perspective. Which, one might argue, COULD fix a lot.'

Nicely put. But what is ever fixed? We seem to live in this dream that we can fix life somehow.
It's a complete delusion.
Jon

Very true, Jon. It's not life that is 'fixed', but it is our experience of life that is 'fixed'.

Peter