anxiety setback and on week 3 of mindfulness programme

[Serenityseeker]

Hey all,
I have generally been doing much better the last few months and while my meditation practice has not been fully regular I have been much better at incorporating it into my daily life. I am now starting to feel a little bit of the old pangs and anxious thoughts as I get ready to head back home to visit my parents for a week. There is really no reason for me to be apprehensive as all is good and up until yesterday I was fully relaxed and cool about it. It is just the triggering bad thought anxious cycle deciding to kick in. I'm trying to just let it be and not get too caught up in cycle. Accept it, but any tips would be most appreciated:)

[JonW]

Hi Serenityseeker,
I'd highly recommend a long-ish body scan every day in the lead up to your visit.
Here's a couple of Jon Kabat-Zinn scans to try out.
Cheers,
Jon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8oKWQiEWYs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4gZgnCy5ew

[Matt Y]

Hi Serenityseeker,

This is probably going to seem counter-intuitive and perhaps even unhelpful advice; but I recommend you try this little experiment over the next few days.

Sit down to meditate, preferably for at least 20 minutes and without any guidance. Don't try to relax, and don't apply any meditation technique.

Instead, just allow yourself to be. Let whatever thoughts and emotions show up do their little dance.

If you get caught up in them, let that be okay. If you find anxiety escalating a bit let that be okay.

If it seems like it's getting to be too much to handle, just take a few moments to reconnect with your body, or your breath, or the sounds around you. But don't try to anchor your attention there. If you start thinking again, let that go on.

In this way, you can let the thoughts and emotions around your parents visit come and go in waves. You'll be developing a greater capacity to tolerate those thoughts and emotions, and a trust that they won't hang around indefinitely. You may also find that they don't actually lead into the types of experiences you may fear.

And please report back describing what happens when you meditate like this. That way we can make further recommendations and adjustments based on what you experience.

And remember: If you feel anxious but don't mind feeling anxious then you won't feel anxious!

[Serenityseeker]

Thank you for your tips, my anxiety levels unfortunately escalated quite a bit in the last 24 hours and I have decided to bail on my trip. I just haven't given myself enough time to get into a good routine and I'm still too sensitive. I feel pretty awful now and guilty about canceling but I know it was the right thing to do this time. The last couple of times I was back home I had bad anxiety attacks and even though I was doing very well in the lead up to this trip, the fear just triggered with the memory of before. I guess I understand how people who have been in a car accident can get very scared of getting behind the wheel again. It's so annoying as I was looking forward to the trip up until two days ago.

I think it will help me to join a group so that I can have that routine and support. My husband tries but cannot relate in any way so I need to get that from others to some extent.

Anyway, I will keep you posted on the journey!