Advice on staying in the "now" when there is a decision...

[mrcreen]

Hi folks.
I'm re-reading for the millionth time and absorbing Tolle's The Power of Now, hoping for an answer to a current dilemma.
The condensed version is that I don't know whether to continue living in New England, in the US, or move to my favorite place in the country, Southern California, 2000-plus miles away.
I've gone back and forth with this. I find it extremely difficult to stay in the present, when the choice of remaining vs. leaving effects my everyday life in the present.
Do I save the money to move, which will take about six months of watching every penny and being thrifty? Do I instead plan on sticking around Massachusetts and taking day trips and longer vacations because I am pretty much settled here, with a job, family, and friends? Do I just wait out and not really live my life because that costs money, and just,...wait...until I can afford to move?
I think I have an answer, then I change my mind. Then I change my mind again.
Any help is appreciated. Thanks for even reading this. I am wholeheartedly looking for guidance and an answer I think, when ultimately the choice is mine. Still, as being obsessed with staying in the moment, I am trying to use that as a lens in which to view my options.
Thanks again.

[Gareth]

But this difficult decision, and these emotions concerning a possible move are happening in the present moment, no?

Continue to be with the question, and I'm sure that in your own time, your own wisdom will come through.

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. ~ Rainer Maria Riike

[jdandre]

Maybe not the reply that you are looking for, but I have a question: Why would you move to begin with?

Is it in hopes of happiness from changing locations? Are you thinking "If only I could live in SoCal, then my life would be great?"

Having read Tolle so many times, you know that our minds like to make us chase happiness with "if only" scenarios...if only I had a new job, if only I had a new partner, if only I had a new place to live!

But, it's a trap - once we make our happiness dependent on changing, acquiring, or fixing something, we'll never actually achieve it because we are using the present moment as a stepping stone. And we will always use the present moment as a stepping stone if that's the case, because our minds will always make our happiness dependent on something that needs to happen "tomorrow."

So, I wanted to know more about your motivation but still tie it back to Tolle's philosophy (since you are a fan).

I suspect that your internal conflict may be a result of knowing what your mind is doing (because of your exposure to Tolle), but still wanting to follow it.

[JonW]

This is a fascinating thread.
Both the previous responses are immeasurably wise.
Of course, there's no "right" answer.
To paraphrase Joan Tollifson: at any given moment we have a million and one choices. The one that has the most energy is the one that wins out.
If nothing gives, you might follow Gareth's advice and go with Rilke.
Not wishing to sound flippant but, if all else fails, you might as well follow Luke Rhinehart's advice and throw a dice. Or go back to Tolle and remind yourself that there is no solid "self" making this decision. Relax into that, and follow the river, my friend.
All good things,
Jon

[Kris]

I understand your predicaments, and moving can be a big decision. There is often no right or wrong when it comes in such a scenario since you don't know what the future holds.

Maybe you would benefit from recalling what Jon Kabat-Zinn has said, namely that your thoughts and feeling are merely something created by your mind. Notice them and how they make you feel. Hope this helps.