Everyday Mindfulness

I am currently about a third through the Headspace Take 15 sessions. I am finding Headspace a very valuable tool in developing my practice. I like the idea if having a new guided session every day that build on an idea and practice over time, it feels like a great balance of being challenging but not overwhelming.

Anyway two things have come up in recent days and reflection on them has really renewed my enthusiasm for life and helped several things click into place after a very uncomfortable few months.

They were, what is my motivation for meditating and wanting to be mindful and what are the benefits of my mindful practice for those around me I care about.

My motivation is to truly listen too and accept my feelings and live in the present moment. The benefits I see my practice bring to those I care about include me being calmer, less caught up in dramas, letting go of anger and irritation and being less self absorbed and more available to them.

I have a couple of relationships in my life that have become very strained over the last couple of years. In fact one I removed myself from almost entirely. This person sent me a very thoughtful birthday present this week. I initially just felt irritated that he still sent things and grumbled. When I opened it I felt moved at how appropriate the gift was and so I emailed him to say thank you. It wasn't out of obligation, I don't know as yet whether the friendship will be rekindled but I am genuinely fine with not knowing, letting go of the issues that caused the rift and just waiting and seeing.

Also this week another friendship seems to be getting back on track after around a year of unacknowledged tension. I think we have both been self absorbed and not allowed ourselves to see where the other person is coming from. For my part I was stuck in being annoyed and hurt by comments I didn't challenge and it seemed the wedge between us was too wide to overcome. When I thought about just letting go of the past and just being in the present I finally did let go. I didn't go into our next meeting dragging all these grievances with me. I didn't pretend anything I was just being her friend in that moment and it was easy. I didn't feel I had 'given in' and I didn't feel I had somehow gained the 'moral highground', I was just being me with her in that moment.

These things have not happened over night. In fact the difficulties in the second friendship have been very much in my mind for months. It just feels like continuing to practice even when it has been painful or frustrating or both has been rewarded because when I really paid attention the truth of the situation was in plain view.

I just wondered if anyone else had anything to share about their motivation to meditate or thoughts about how their mindful practice benefits those they care about.

Interesting question. I'm an adoptee, and my adoptive parents -- who are my parents, as they raised me, loved me, and have supported me through thick and thin since I was 2 weeks old -- did a reasonably good job (rather, they did an excellent job; I still turned out with a few imperfections, however. : ) )

But I have carried some pain in my core over being adopted. It's not uncommon. This pain has impelled me to seek a variety of healing modalities, some healthy, some not so healthy, throughout my life. The one modality which keeps calling me back is meditation, more specifically mindfulness or vipassana meditation. Coupled with the pain is some anxiety, although at least some of that is likely to be the same kind of functioning-in-the-world anxiety many humans feel. Mindfulness allows me to hold it all, without having to suppress or act on it. This seems to be deeply healing for me, over time. And that in turn makes it much more likely that I will treat others in my life with more love and, well, awareness. It's not a linear path at all, but it's a path nevertheless. Thanks for asking the question. I'd like to hear from others on this question, too, if they care to comment.

Thank you for sharing, that is a really affirming and compassionate motivation.

Thank you, Fee. I appreciate that.

Like Fee I use the Headspace programme - it's a 365 day course which I've completed once and I am now doing a second time as there is so much in it. I think doing a structured guided meditation course helps a lot with Motivation - logging on to a new day begins an easy good habit to keep up. On Headspace Andy Puddicombe asks you to affirm your motivation everyday, with a beginner's mind ("Why am I sitting here to meditate today?") and encourages you to consider that your practice helps other people in your life as well as yourself.

I have found the ability to respond rather than react to life has been a benefit of my mindfulness practice, and this includes a kind of stepping back, where I used to over-involve myself in other people's stuff, I can wait now and see what is really needed from me. This has helped a lot with relationships with friends (as Fee describes so well) and this kind of observation of things changing also acts as a motivator to keep practicising in a kind of benevolent loop.

My motivation: to be the change I want to see in the world.

Words only go so far - people are wise to 'gift of the gab' and NLP now. They need to see the proof before they are inspired, and this "they" includes ourselves(!) - we need to see the changes inside ourselves to have faith in our true potential. It doesn't matter what's written in a book or spoken on a video - it's only direct experience which matters.

I am intrigued to find out more about headspace so am off to amazon now!

BioSattva wrote:My motivation: to be the change I want to see in the world.

Words only go so far - people are wise to 'gift of the gab' and NLP now. They need to see the proof before they are inspired, and this "they" includes ourselves(!) - we need to see the changes inside ourselves to have faith in our true potential. It doesn't matter what's written in a book or spoken on a video - it's only direct experience which matters.

I think sometimes it can be helpful when an author manages to capture a thought I have struggled to pin down previously. Also I totally agree that direct experience is what matters and also to be the change I want to see in the world is a very powerful motivation.

Yeah thanks to Ghandi.... and an ancient Greek philosopher also...

Fee, I am also doing take 15 right now! I'm nearly finished with it and will continue on. It took me a couple of days to figure out my motivation, because at first I wanted to say it was to be at peace. But I felt that wasn't quite right, though I do hope there will be more peace someday as a result of meditation. He kept saying "what do you want to know or understand about yourself" My motivation changes a little day to day, but it is usually something along the lines of recognizing and understanding how I respond to things in my life - whether it is my family, or my job, or something silly like my hair not turning out right one day or feeling crappy. I want to become more aware of my reactions to things in the moment so I can better choose how to respond and come at things from a more balanced place. Some days it is more directly an awareness of the choices I make in each moment - choices like what to eat or whether to exercise or watch TV - that affect my health and energy level.

I really like Headspace so far but I do have to say, I haven't had any "a-ha" moments like I tend to do when I am having regular silent meditation. I think the solution to that would be to have 2 meditation sessions some days, with the second being silent - so I can get the benefits of both.