Why is it that people stop meditating?

Post here if you have been practising for a while, and you are starting to get your head around what this is all about. Also post here if you are a long-term practitioner with something to say about the practice.
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FeeHutch
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Practice Mindfulness Since: 01 Mar 2012
Location: Steel City
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Mon May 04, 2015 6:22 pm  

I struggle with regular sitting practice and that is linked to my physical and emotional health but as I've mentioned elsewhere the breathing spaces and being in the moment keep me going until I start back with a more regular practice.
“Being mindful means that we take in the present moment as it is rather than as we would like it to be.”
Mark Williams

http://adlibbed.blogspot.co.uk/p/mindfulness-me-enjoy-silence.html
Find me on twitter - @feehutch

herenow
Posts: 5

Fri May 08, 2015 3:38 pm  

Hi,
here's another angle. I have time and lately I am longing a bit of meditation, but I am not practicing!
Why?
I am curing my insomnia following a CBT method an suddenly I had to compress my sleeping and spend less time in bed. This means that at night, when everybody is sleeping I spend a further hour or so awake and I have time to do all the things I want (as long as i don't wake anyone up :D ). I thought that was perfect time for meditation.
When I tried, I found myself fleeting in a state drowsiness, feeling like I was fallig asleep every 5 seconds. So I realized I am too tired to do it and I parked it for a while.
Meditating earlier in the day is not possible because there is always someone around.

I suppose i just have to accept it, that is what it's all about after all.

randomgrounds.com
Posts: 1

Fri May 15, 2015 8:15 am  

Mindfulness and meditation are not what is promoted and accepted as the predominate culture in western society. The masses will always act as the masses do with some that come to realize the importance of mindfulness and develop a consistent practice and those that understand the impact of meditation but are not motivated yet enough to stand apart from the majority. As more and more mindful practitioners maintain our practice and spread the many benefits will we see more stability in the practice of those around us.

jdandre
Posts: 45
Location: United States
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Fri May 15, 2015 3:26 pm  

This is an insightful thread.

As far as my answer to Gareth's question, I recall what Pema Chodron says: we have to learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

side note - if you don't read Pema, you should. You don't have to be Buddhist to read/watch her, and she delivers amazing insights with almost everything she says (and, she is very funny too).

This comes back to the comment about negative thoughts/feelings when you meditate, and the point JonW made so well in his comment earlier (back on page 1).

Many people don't get good instruction when it comes to mindfulness and meditation. And, there are a lot of misconceptions. But, meditation is sitting with everything that arises in consciousness, regardless of what we label it. Most people are confused by this..."even the negative thoughts?" Yes! Even the negative thoughts.

You can't control what arises. The good news is, you don't have to control it. Right now it affects you because you follow your mind. You get lost in your thoughts - one leads to another leads to another leads to another, and down the rabbit hole you go.

If you accept you can't control the content, you can focus on the real solution: cultivating awareness; learning to observe all of that mental activity without being carried down the rabbit hole by it.

But, people get poor instruction, and they approach meditating the way they approach everything else - they (we) try to cling to what is positive, and avoid what is negative. Chasing the label of "good," running away from the label of "bad."

If you approach it correctly, however, you aren't going to be comfortable all the time. And that's fine...we have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable! Meditation can be relaxing, but "to relax" isn't the objective - the objective is to overcome the problems your mind creates in your life. How do you do that?

Develop a consistent meditation practice, sit with everything that arises, drop the labels, cultivate awareness/learn not to get swept away by your thoughts, and bring mindfulness to your "non-meditation" time.

Sit through that discomfort, and see what's on the other side!

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FeeHutch
Posts: 1010
Practice Mindfulness Since: 01 Mar 2012
Location: Steel City
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Sun May 17, 2015 9:05 pm  

Really interesting post Jon especially the bit about chasing what it 'good' and ignoring the 'bad'. I do sometimes read pieces online, magazines, newspapers, t.v. and radio which talk of mindfulness as almost a 'cure for whatever ailment you have' or something that will fix whatever it is about you that you don't like. The truth is so simple it gets over complicated and so challenging it gets glossed over.

Then people 'do' mindfulness almost aggressively, painful and difficult moments arise and they feel conned because they don't feel enlightened or even particularly happy. The l back of goal to reach is strange and the unpredictability that you can practice 8 hours a day, 7 days a week and still feel you've somehow 'failed at mindfulness' is unnerving.

I've been thinking about this (can you tell :D ) and in many ways, the problems people have with sitting and being say volumes about what we perceive about 'normal' everyday life.
“Being mindful means that we take in the present moment as it is rather than as we would like it to be.”
Mark Williams

http://adlibbed.blogspot.co.uk/p/mindfulness-me-enjoy-silence.html
Find me on twitter - @feehutch

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Gareth
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Posts: 1465

Mon May 18, 2015 10:34 am  

herenow wrote:Meditating earlier in the day is not possible because there is always someone around.


Over time, I found that other people being around became less of a thing for me. Now if I get disturbed, I make that person/the thing that happened part of the meditation. I try to give all of my attention to the interruption.

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rara
Posts: 255
Location: Huddersfield, UK

Sun May 31, 2015 2:51 pm  

Gareth wrote:It's a question that fascinates me.

I've come across people who have tasted the benefits that mindfulness offers, yet their practice drops away. I honestly don't understand it.

I think that as informal practice improves, the need for formal practice probably lessens for some people, but I can't imagine ever not having a regular meditation practice.


Life distracts people...tempts them away.
Twitter @rarafeed

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FeeHutch
Posts: 1010
Practice Mindfulness Since: 01 Mar 2012
Location: Steel City
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Mon Jun 01, 2015 9:59 am  

rara wrote:
Gareth wrote:It's a question that fascinates me.

I've come across people who have tasted the benefits that mindfulness offers, yet their practice drops away. I honestly don't understand it.

I think that as informal practice improves, the need for formal practice probably lessens for some people, but I can't imagine ever not having a regular meditation practice.


Life distracts people...tempts them away.


Lovely to see you Rara :)
“Being mindful means that we take in the present moment as it is rather than as we would like it to be.”
Mark Williams

http://adlibbed.blogspot.co.uk/p/mindfulness-me-enjoy-silence.html
Find me on twitter - @feehutch

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Gareth
Site Admin
Posts: 1465

Mon Jun 01, 2015 10:53 am  

Yes, great to see you Dave. Still meditating I take it?

I hope life's good for you?

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rara
Posts: 255
Location: Huddersfield, UK

Mon Jun 01, 2015 4:21 pm  

Thanks Fee and Gareth 8-) I shall swing by when I can, it has been a while! Yes, still meditating. Kung fu life...it's built in.
Twitter @rarafeed

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