FPIAFW - Week 3: The Mouse In The Maze

[JonW]

I miss his waistline, maybe. That's about it.

[FeeHutch]

I had my first interview in 4 years today. It was informal but I was nervous and last night was really feeling the anxiety. I realised pretty quickly what was going on, paid attention and let it go. I slept the best I have in several days, felt very calm and peaceful this morning (even when I thought I had missed the bus!) and really enjoyed the interview.

I can not say I miss over thinking and tying myself up in knots either - not that anxiety in and of itself has ever had a very dramatic impact on my waistline Still, I don't get anxious about that anymore either

[Steve]

Isn't it great to gain some control over the unruly mind! Just 'chilling out' when before we'd be getting uptight, is a much nicer way to live.

Steve

[calm_one]

How long were you doing mindfulness before you felt the benefits? As I said in my post last week I really struggled with the body scan week.

My sleep patterns are getting worse. However I find mindful movement and the 8 min body and breath comforting. I have been doing Forrest Yoga too which is hard but fun. Its all about your breath and being present in the moment, so I think it will compliment this course well.

Its rather odd that after a period of relative calm I'm actually getting worse not better. Its all related to sleep for me, when I sleep my mood is fine when I can't its terrible, what i find frustrating is there seems to be no reason behind the sleepless nights they are just random. I just feel physically exhausted and I have no reason to be.

Must keep trying though, even when I cant be bothered. And my apologies, I know this isn't a counselling forum but sometimes it just helps to gets things off my chest.

Thanks

[FeeHutch]

I suppose for me I felt benefits quite quickly because I stopped trying to force my body to change and accepted things as they were. I was (and continue) to experience extreme fatigue and a disrupted sleep pattern for example which became less distressing when I am accepting of them and paying attention to my practice. One of the first things I notice during times when I have been less consistent is that I fall back into the 'should' frame of mind i.e. I should do more or I shouldn't be tired.

While this isn't a counselling forum please don't feel you can't share these thoughts and difficulties here. My experience is different to yours but I can empathise with the effects a lack of sleep can bring.

[calm_one]

Thanks fee, I hope my sleep does improve as my mood usually picks up too.

I haven't always been like this I used to be a very happy person. I'm becoming more accepting but need a few more weeks before I get it I think. Its awful to feel run down all the time isn't it?

Thanks for your comments about councilling too

[calm_one]

Sorry this is turning into a little blog of me! But I thought I might share a little breakthrough I had, all thanks to the 3 min breathing space.

As I've said I have been having trouble sleeping and I still am, when I wake at 4 i get really agitated, yesterday and today I just simple observed the agitation and it did go away a little. I didn't get back to sleep but I felt a lot more relaxed about it. (I learned this for the 3 min breathing space)

I still feel very tired but I have found I'm still able to laugh and so on. My main symptom of anxiety is a tightness in my chest. Whenever I get that tightness I stop, say in my head "hello anxiety, how are you" and just explore the sensations. This does have reduce it, I used to think "shit here I go again"

Yesterday while out with friends I was able to be aware I was anxious but I had a smile on my face the whole time as the anxiety isnt me.

The big test will be when I do have something to be anxious about, rather than just my random generalized anxiety. But if I am able to have more accepting attitude to random low level anxiety then its a good start!.

I think I might actually be getting this. Obviously I know I won't be able to 'control' it every time and have a long way to go but I feel I've had my first taste of what mindfulness can do.

[FeeHutch]

That is really good to read, experiencing the difference mindfulness can make helped me understand it in a way reading about it or discussing it alone could not do.

[Writingmoment]

I am just about to go onto week 4, I found week 3 was ok but I did notice a few times anxiety popped up that almost stopped me on this journey. I did tell myself that they were only thoughts and feelings in the moment, not me, to stop taking them personally and it did help. I know the key is persistence so onto week 4

[JonW]

"I did notice a few times anxiety popped up that almost stopped me on this journey. I did tell myself that they were only thoughts and feelings in the moment, not me, to stop taking them personally and it did help."

That's mindfulness in action, right there.
Anxiety will pop up. It's what anxiety does. The "trick", as you say, is not to take it personally.
Sounds like you're doing just great, Writingmoment.
Do keep posting.