Feeling discouraged

[debbieko]

Hi everyone,
I'm fairly new here (have commented a few times), so I'll do a quick introduction first. I first came to practice mindfulness in 2008, after a therapist introduced me to the practice. I went from having daily panic attacks to feeling quite tranquil for awhile. From there, I eventually found a zen center and sat there for a number of years. My anxiety came back due to work stress, so I returned to therapy, and my therapist suggested I take an MBSR class. I found that to be life changing, and wished the class wouldn't end. A couple of years later, I had my daughter and my anxiety and stress returned due to sleep deprivation. My husnand and I followed the Mark Williams book, and it was great. However, I quickly fell out of the habit again. Currently, I am doing about 20-30 minutes of yoga a day, and occasionally meditating. I find myself lost in thought for days on end, and I spend far too much time mindlessly scrolling the web on my iPhone. I'm feeling disheartened because I would really like to be more mindful, but I keep falling off the path. I'm so curious what mindfulness looks like for you all, on a daily basis. Are you always mindful? How often do you get caught? If you've read this far, thank you.

[JonW]

Hi there. I've emailed you some thoughts.
All best wishes,
Jon

[debbieko]

Thanks, Jon. I've received your kind email. I'll try to respond soon.

Cheers,
Debbie

[kimjohnson]

Some prefer using clouds in the sky rather than leaves in the stream for mindfulness of thoughts. When you notice a thought come into your mind, just put the thought on a cloud as it drifts across the sky or dissipates.

[Peter]

Hi debbieko,

To be honest, I wonder if it would help you if you would know how much aware other people are. Chances are that you'd compare and feel inadequate. Chances are also that it would become a goal for you, and would stand in your way of accepting things as they are.

I think it would be a good idea if you start grounding yourself many times during the day at set intervals (eg every half an hour). And maybe a three minute breathing space sometimes.

Peter

[MiM]

Hi debbieko,

I don't necessarily believe comparing is the way to go either, but for whatever it's worth I can tell you, that at I am very far from being aware all the time. I also get lost and I spend far too much time on facebook and forums et.c.

But even so, I think I have had tremendous help from mindfulness. My ability to concentrate at work has gone up and I achieve visibly better. I catch myself earlier at home and argue less with my wife, to name a couple of things. Awareness isn't 0 or 1. Even though I am seldom fully aware, I am a lot closer to awareness than before I started meditating, and that matters.

[debbieko]

Lovely visualization, Kim. I'll
Have to try floating my thoughts away on a cloud.

Peter, I think you are right! Compare and despair is a phrase I heard recently, and it really rings true for me. I would definitely be inclined to strive more too, as I can be a very driven person at times. I like your idea of grounding myself at set times. I'll set an alarm on my phone. I started doing 3-minute breathing spaces once a day a few days ago, and it's definitely a good thing.

Thanks, MiM, it is helpful to hear how others get lost, but that mindfulness still helps. Every little bit, right?

[FeeHutch]

Dam Tesco for using that slogan but indeed, every little helps.
I think it's been proven by many studies how much the internet and social media in particular encourages compare and despair. I personally view my practice as being moment by moment, each time I bring myself back to now be it in sitting practice or sitting on a bus, that's mindfulness.

[debbieko]

Thanks, Fee! I've been reminding myself that I don't need to be mindful all the time, just this moment. It seems to be helping!