Everyday Mindfulness

Hi,

I used to engage in mindful meditation, but have just recently returned.

I have the following experience, and I would be interested to know if others have had similar, and how they went about addressing it.

Whenever I begin to attend to my breath, my heart starts pounding, and it doesn't stop. The pounding varies in intensity, but more often than not it's very strong, strong enough such that often my chest physically moves a bit, I hear my heart beat in my ears, and so on.

I'm using a variety of resources. Hanh's The Miracle of Mindfulness, Orsillo's The Mindful Way Through Anxiety are the main two books. I'm using the audio recordings that go with the latter, as well as some from a compilation by Sounds True (with one's from Kabat-Zin, McGonigal, and others).

It doesn't really matter whether the focus of the mindfulness session is attending to the breath or not. It doesn't matter whether I listen to something or just practice on my own. And it doesn't matter how long it I meditate for: 5 mins, 30 mins or longer.

As soon as I think about attending to the breath, as soon as a guided session says 'Bring your awareness to your breath', my heart pounds.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?

I've found that the typical intros cover topics like: how you persist in practicing, how do you deal with intrusive thoughts, how do you meditate for more than 10 mins. And they discuss things like where you might experience your breath, and so on. But I've not found anyone deal with the above question.

My heart, incidentally, is fine. I'm very active, no health problems. I feel like it's psychological, but don't know how to address it.

Thanks

James

Hi James.

I can't say it is something that I have ever come across. Let's stand by and hope we get some replies from more experienced practitioners/teachers.

Hi James,

Yes, you are certainly not the only one to have such an experience, and you are right in thinking that it's probably psychological.

Generally this kind of thing happens when you have an idea or expectation of how your heartbeat should be. I imagine I would be correct in assuming that you expect your heartbeat to be slow, steady, regular, and quiet during meditation; not thumping wildly!

As you've discovered, your heartbeat is not under your control. It seems to have its own agenda. Your job in meditation is not to dictate how your heartbeat should feel, or how fast or slow it should go. Your job is simply to notice what it's doing. If it's thumping wildly in your chest - good! That means it's working. If it's so faint you can't sense, hear or feel it at all - fine! Let your heart beat in whatever way it wants.

In other words, let go of resistance and control. Don't worry so much about what the heart does or doesn't do.

And don't feel like you have to focus on the breath. If you find it too difficult to tolerate your thumping chest, just ignore those instructions and focus on something else.

It is most likely related to anticipatory anxiety. You are probably afraid that you might not be able to meditate on your breath in the 'good way' (whatever that means). My advice is that your pounding heart is something that is happening in that moment, mindfully pay attention to it as you would with your breath or anything else that is occurring in the moment.

Hi there,

Thanks for your replies. I'm trying to do that, and will continue and we'll see what happens. Maybe it will change over a longer period.

James

Hi James,

Yes, this seems very familiar to me.

As soon as I start meditating in whichever way, my heart goes bananas.
In my case I suspect it's related to my anxiety/panic attacks/control problem. As meditating has been essential for me in only the last two months, in climbing out of my pit of despair, it's exceptionally important to me (and therefore probably more than is good for me). So there's this anticipation. This 'anticipatory anxiety' seems likely to me.... A family member told me today she gets a pounding heart as soon as she starts the exercises for her broken arm.

Especially at the point where my guided bodyscan reaches my upper body, the throbbing becomes very strong. OR: I just become more aware of it! So sometimes I wonder if it wasn't like this for longer, but I didn't notice it until my actual problems began.

It's a very strong pumping. Don't know if it's visible on my chest, I haven't taken a look. But it's very physical: as if it's elbowing me from within. The sensation seems strongest a bit below my left armpit.

A few nights ago I noticed that if it was faint, I usually slept better. This has given my anxiety a new focus point: recently, as soon as I think the heart is going to fast, I'm convinced I won't sleep that night. And there's the rumination and self-fulfilling prophecy again.

I feel the post of Matt Y above here has much value. Last night I used his very post to just observe my heart. It slowed down instantaneously. Not that that would be necessary perse, but at least it didn't flare up my usual frustration, and I now know it doesn't influence anything. For me this is very reassuring. As Matt says, it's one more thing your mind can't control (and thank heaven for that, right?). I think we may want to celebrate that, as it means we can let go a bit more.

What works for me also is holding it in this very soft regard I associate with this 'loving-kindness' (Metta) thing I've been discovering lately.
I think of the way Thich Nhat Hanh speaks and tell my heart something like: 'Ah, are you there my dear friend? Thank you for that. Do what you want and what is necessary. I recognize and trust you.'

So. More I don't know
Good luck!

Thanks Mudlotus, that's interesting and helpful.

James

I struggle with this.. not during meditation, but during periods of the day, for some reason, I just start to feel anxious and uncomfortable.

A couple of thoughts:
1) Is it possible that it is always that loud and hard, but you only notice it when meditating?
2) It can very well be some anxiety about meditating. Explore it, see how the rest of your body is feeling when it's happening, how does it make you feel (concerned? frustrated? etc.). Instead of focusing on your breathing during meditation, USE the heartbeats as your focus. Make it an ally, not an enemy.
3) Sometimes my heart will pound very hard and it makes me feel anxious. I've discovered it is often when I'm not well-hydrated. It can be because I was too busy to drink water during the day (I'm not a fan of drinking water so I always have to push myself), because I took a dehydrating medication (allergy meds, for example), ate something salty, the weather is exceptionally warm, etc. A few glasses of water will often work when the "beater" is being loud.

Hello James,

I suppose I would be curious about a few things before I felt like I could adequately respond. First, what is it about the breath that increases in intensity? It sounds like the actual intensity of the beat is something you're noticing? Does the speed change? Do you notice any feelings about the sensation (i.e. worry about it, nervousness that exists along side it, etc.)? How quickly do you notice it? Do you notice it change as you settle into the meditation or is it more like you either notice it as intense/not intense (i.e. it doesn't "grow" slowly, it more just goes from regular to intense)? When you breath, do you do anything to control your breath/alter it?

As I am sure you've gathered from some of the other responses, it could be something that's happening for a number of reasons. As Janknitz mentions, it could be due to the change in attention (i.e. your heart always beats that way but focusing on it you're so much more aware of it, and sometimes giving more focus to something can make it seem more intense). OR it could be that some anxious feelings are coming up and altering it. Or it could be physiological. So I can't say it much better than some of the others, unless you might be able to provide more detail/answer any of the questions above, as changes in heart beat/heart rate happen for various reasons (but it DOES happen, so know there is likely an answer for you too )