Everyday Mindfulness

Wow...I just had an experience that I want to share with you all....

I recently lost my mother to cancer. It's been hard getting in touch with my emotions about this loss. She was the "rock" in my family, and it was pretty devastating. I find myself mainly numb throughout the days, but i'm mindful of tinges of sadness and emptiness when they come up, and mindfulness has been of enormous help to me in the grieving process. I'm letting myself feel whatever I feel.

So this morning I did 30 min of mindful yoga. Just now I did 20 minutes of seated meditation, and then I finished with some loving kindness meditation. I was going through various people (myself, sisters, dog, etc) saying to them in my awareness "may you be happy. May you be free from fear. May you be at ease. May you be free from suffering", all the while holding a warm fuzzy feeling of compassion and love.

So...I get to my mom and I said it once no problem. Then I said it a second time to her and it really hit home. Tears started streaming down my face and I had a major emotional release while saying it. I was still very concentrated as I was crying, it was like my awareness was on the meditation, but my body was letting go of some much needed emotion. It was very poignant and cathartic. Just thought I would share this experience with everyone.

How wonderful that meditation has allowed you to connect at a meaningful level with such a important yet devastating element of the human experience.

Thanks for sharing

Wow, that is incredibly powerful. Thank you so much for sharing that with us.

I haven't had such an intense emotional response but somehow in a meditation class (and having lost my mother a few years earlier) the concept of there being 'infinite reservoir of love' out there (from my mother - and quite possibly from others) that I could tap into when I need to re-generate the goodness in my heart is something that felt very real at the time and I still carry with me (several years later). I also thanked her for it in a card I left on on her grave on an anniversary of her passing.

Steve

thanks for sharing such a moving and positive experience, i'm moved just reading it.
mick

Thanks for sharing that, LucidMind. I lost my mum to the same horrible disease a few years ago. I found your post very moving.
Jon

Thank you for all the kind and supportive replies. When first learning about mindful meditation, I was immediately turned off by the loving kindness meditation. It seemed a bit hokey and fake to me. However, the more I read about it the more it started to resonate with me, and I figured I would at least give it a try. As you can tell by my previous post, it became a special part of my practice. In my current meditation practice I try to end each session with at least 5 minutes of loving kindness meditation, it really is some powerful stuff.

Also, I a deeply saddened that some of you have experienced a similar loss in recent times. My hope from sharing this meditation experience is that it will somehow support at least one person's meditation practice, especially if they are in a time of mourning and grief like me. This practice really helps me tap into my mom's love and support, two very powerful energies which i'll take with me forever.

LucidMind wrote:When first learning about mindful meditation, I was immediately turned off by the loving kindness meditation. It seemed a bit hokey and fake to me. However, the more I read about it the more it started to resonate with me, and I figured I would at least give it a try. As you can tell by my previous post, it became a special part of my practice. In my current meditation practice I try to end each session with at least 5 minutes of loving kindness meditation, it really is some powerful stuff.

I felt the same way about loving kindness (metta?) practice, but after doing it abit recently I can really see the potential. I've booked myself onto a silent retreat which will include loving kindness practice and am enthused by your story.

I guess that any emotion, when give space to be, without interference, can be a pleasurable experience.

"I guess that any emotion, when give space to be, without interference, can be a pleasurable experience."

What has helped me a lot, both during formal practice and in everyday life, is not to think of emotions as pleasurable or painful. Increasingly I think of emotions quite neutrally. They are just emotions arising. It doesn't mean that I don't feel pleasure or pain. But, more and more, I accept them without thinking of them as positive or negative. That way, less narrative builds up around them and, as a result, there's far less suffering. It feels very liberating.
Maybe Bils was alluding to much the same thing.

JonW wrote:But, more and more, I accept them without thinking of them as positive or negative. That way, less narrative builds up around them and, as a result, there's far less suffering. It feels very liberating.
Maybe Bils was alluding to much the same thing.

Yes Jon. My use of the word 'pleasure' is slightly misleading, but I do like to put a positive slant on things.