Everyday Mindfulness

Hello!

I'm James, and I started practising mindfulness a couple of months ago. I just completed the eight-week course in Mark Williams & Danny Penman's Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World.

I've found it very rewarding and am keen to continue and expand my mindfulness practice!

I've developed a few questions as I've gone along.

Maybe they are things I need to work out for myself as I go on.

But I thought it couldn't hurt to ask for some advice from other more experienced people!

So I'd be very grateful if anyone had any thoughts.

It's a question about the place of pleasant thoughts in mindfulness. Overall my question is: Is it mindful to be more objective about pleasant thoughts (as well as unpleasant ones), or to embrace them?

Surely a lot of people are drawn to mindfulness because they would like to feel better, and have more pleasant thoughts rather than unpleasant ones.

But is this maybe the wrong approach? To be mindful, should I divert my attention from pleasant thoughts back to the present moment (my breath, etc.), even though they are pleasant?

For example, it seems to be an aspect of mindfulness to cultivate a sense of wonder for what I can experience in the present moment - especially by going for walks and observing the world around me (which I've found particularly enjoyable).

But is cultivating this a way of drawing me out of the present moment? For example, my pleasure at observing something on a walk is often tied up with various pleasant memories I have of similar past experiences. It can draw me out of the present moment. Is it good practice to pull away from these memories back to the present moment, even though I find them pleasant?

As I say, I'd be very grateful if anyone has any advice! I think I've slightly confused myself...

Good morning James, and welcome to the forum! Please stick around and make some posts, this is a community aimed at promoting mindfulness to people, the more people we have here the better.

This is a great question; I remember having the same one myself: "why isn't it OK to think about my beautiful little boy?" etc. Like everything with mindfulness, the answer is pretty simple. I am at work right now so I don't have time to answer you fully but I'll pop you are post on later.

Gareth

I would be interested to hear what you think too Gareth as its something I have thought about alot

This question troubled me for quite a long time as I was beginning the practice. The answers do come to you over time of course, but I see no harm in asking the questions either. That's kind of the whole point of this forum really.

I was kinda hung up on this notion that mindfulness was only about the present moment, and this somehow didn't allow me to have pleasant thoughts about the past or future. I thought that it was "unmindful" to look forward to my wife coming home, or to reminisce about good times in the past.

Technically, thinking about anything is unmindful, but with mindfulness we are not trying to eliminate thought; you cannot eliminate thought. In mindfulness practice we are merely observing whatever thought comes along, and then letting it go, trying not to get entangled in it. This process teaches us that we can let go of thoughts if we want to. Some of the thoughts that we have are really hurtful, some promote anxiety; i find it best to just let go of these thoughts. Other thoughts that we have are joyful things, or tools for essential planning. I go with these thoughts as they are making me feel better, or they are useful to me.

Watch your thoughts and understand them. This will be an enormous benefit to you.

The only exception to what I have just said would be your formal practice. This is the bit where we are intentionally trying to be in the present moment. If you notice your mind has wandered to the past or future while you are meditating, then bring it back. Over and over. No judging, no chastising; just bring it back.

I hope this helps you.

Gareth

it helped me

This helped me too! I started with Williams and Penman's book last week and have found it instantly helpful in soothing my anxiety. But yesterday I went off daydreaming and fantasising about getting a new job and moving to a new area, which was quite pleasant at the time but certainly not mindful!
Thanks for the forum ...

Hehe, well, it depends what you want to use your meditation for...I started due to heavy stress and anxiety...so any pleasant thoughts that came my way were like a godsend to me. I was happy, I was grateful...and that's certainly not a bad thing! And you just pulled it back around anyway, by identifying that you are aware of your thoughts.

So in other words, do whatever you want to do! As time goes on, and you are more practiced, you may want to train yourself out of daydreaming. Or maybe, you're happy where you are

I like the approach Gareth suggests: if you notice that you are following pleasant thoughts, you have a choice: follow them or gently acknowledge them and bring yourself back to whatever you were focussing on. It doesn't matter which you choose - you may be in need of some pleasantness and decide to follow this as a side product of your meditation or you may say, no, my intention is to continue with 'formal' practice so I will let that thought go and bring my concentration back to my focus (you can always go down the other route another time). Obviously, if you always decide to follow the pleasant thoughts, you may not be practising your meditation skills so much - but its up to you, making a conscious choice as to how you use your mind is a good start.

Steve

All those questions your asking yourself are the basis of what is bringing you emotional intelligence. I would recommend looking up some information on emotional intelligence just for the sake of allowing yourself to see it in a more broad view. There are some great Google talks videos on YouTube about it!

Pretty much I've found myself thinking about it in this way: I can choose to focus on anything I want in this moment. What options do I have to change my emotional state? Would I rather clear my mind right now and just focus on mindfulness? Is there a productive way for me to do both of those things?

If you just keep questioning like that in this moment, your mind will find the best solutions over time. My favorite thing to be mindful of personally is my smile!

I'm glad to have answers for this too - at least possible answers. Because I wondered the exact same thing!