Struggling to 'get into' mindfulness

[quester]

Keep in mind as well that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to meditate. Be compassionate with yourself. If you drift through the entire practice - that's what happened. Try again next time. It does get easier to quite the monkey mind, but it can take time. When they say that you practice meditation - that's quite literally true - we "practice".

One other thing to try is a shorter informal practice. For instance say you usually sing in the shower. Agree as you step in that you will be quiet. Then be mindful, and when you start to sing, smile and quiet yourself. Repeat as needed.

[BioSattva]

Keep in mind as well that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to meditate.

Well, there is an MBSR methodology which needs to be adhered to for it to be considered 'mindfulness' meditation.
Here's Jon Kabat-Zinn in Full Catastrophe Living (2005), p143:

For the record, if your energy is continually going into patient self-observation from moment to moment, whether your attention is on the breathing or on other objects, and you are bringing it back each time it wanders without giving yourself a hard time, then you are doing it right. If you are looking for a special feeling to occur, whether it be relaxation or calmness or concentration, or insight, then you are trying to get somewhere else other than where you already are and you need to remind yourself to just be with the breath in the present.

Just keeping the thread on-topic, since it is concerned with mindfulness.

For instance say you usually sing in the shower. Agree as you step in that you will be quiet. Then be mindful, and when you start to sing, smile and quiet yourself. Repeat as needed.

Are you monkeymind's neighbour by any chance?

[quester]

Sorry for being a little wild and non-doctrinaire. I note with interest that while JKZ does speak of "doing it right" he takes a much more compassionate tone for those who are looking for other goals when he says "..you need to remind yourself to just be with the breath in the present."

I think there is a clear danger for a new practitioner to get so stressed out about "doing it wrong" that they are not able to "do it right." Which was really my point.

And no - I have no knowledge - first hand or otherwise - regarding monkeymind's singing habits or ability.

[SheilaB]

Hi monkeymind,

I used to find sitting meditation extremely frustrating both physically & mentally. So much so that I stopped altogether for a while.

I then found it helpful to start with short 10 minute sessions, & then build up to longer periods. This seemed to make it easier to be compassionate with myself (rather than beating myself up for 'failing' at it) - and also it helped me feel more confident that I could make it a daily practice long-term. Which I am managing to do now.

I hope all the encouragement here helps you to keep it going.

Sheila
@sheilabayliss

[pranna]

When you are sitting in meditation, the first thing you're doing is taking a dignified seated position -- you're being still in your body. This is a critical first step. It is this stillness of body that allows you to see the extent of the active mind -- the discovery of monkey mind itself is a realization on the path. That's progress right there.

There have been many great thoughts and suggestions on this thread.

Another thought is to name the *kinds* of thoughts you were having when you noticed them. This is similar to what BioSattva posed in the Jojo-Beck quote where she says, "“Oh, yes, I’m doing that one again”—and without judging, return..." But it is a little more specific. If you can name the kind of thought - like "planning thought", "fantasizing", "remembering the past", "fear thoughts", etc., then you'll become familiar with them at another level. It can help you see your thoughts more clearly. It is as if you are not just caught up in a general condition called "thought" but you can see more clearly what kind of thought - and when that kind of thought arises again, you're more likely to notice that you're in it. You're also more likely to know that it's 'just thought' and it's not really happening - to see it for what it is - so it's easier to drop it and come back to the present moment.

Labeling in this way can bring your mind more quickly to that state that Jojo-Beck described: boredom! Not in a bad way, but rather.. "these planning thoughts, now that I've called them by name 20 times in a row are getting boring".. and the mind sees they aren't productive and eventually slows down on fabricating them!

At that point, you've brought your body to stillness.. and now you've started to slow down monkey mind, leaving you're attention available to be present with what's ACTUALLY present.

Bottom line -- Don't give up. Your experience is unfolding quite typically.

[BioSattva]

Labeling in this way can bring your mind more quickly to that state that Jojo-Beck described: boredom! Not in a bad way, but rather.. "these planning thoughts, now that I've called them by name 20 times in a row are getting boring".. and the mind sees they aren't productive and eventually slows down on fabricating them!

Brilliantly put. Joko Beck is a big fan of labelling too.

It is incredible thinking of earlier times when the intensity of my boredom was so powerful that it made me physically get up and stop practicing. Just like doing a kind of exposure therapy, however, experientially realizing that one isn't going to 'die' from the boredom one fears during seated practice is like thunder clouds parting and bright sunlight shining through. It's so irrational to think one will damage oneself if one faces one's boredom, and yet the physical dimension - the tension associated with the suffering - is so real and tangible. The feelings of boredom still arise during my seated meditation, but the process of accepting and allowing for tension to dissolve has become a lot more like second nature.

I was so inspired by all this I wrote a blog post about it last year: Mindfulness and Boredom.

[piedwagtail91]

found this for if things get boring

If Something is Boring

“If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four.
If still boring, then eight.
Then sixteen.
Then thirty-two.
Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all. … The greatest discovery of my generation is that man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind.”

William James

not that i've tried it out yet

[JonW]

I read somewhere that the word "boredom" did not exist until the early 19th Century.
It begs the question: how did people think about "boredom" before the word existed?
It also makes me think about how we're so conditioned to label every emotion that we feel.
Next time you feel "bored" during a meditation, or otherwise, try not to think of it as "boredom". Try being open-minded about what you're feeling, examining the sensation of "boredom" with fresh curiosity, examining the texture of the emotion and how it changes in your body.
Works for me.

[piedwagtail91]

What jonw says.
I haven't felt bored since starting mindfulness.
When meditating there's always the breath or sensations. When doing other things there's always something to look at or lidten to. But not the telly!

[JonW]

No telly here either. At least I haven't switched it on in three months.
When the TV licence people come knocking I'm looking forward to explaining to them that mindfulness is to blame for me cancelling my payments.