Newbie

[Bigpinkfan]

Hi, i've just joined up i have heard of mindfulness in the past but never applied it, or tried to, until my therapist suggeested it to me a few weeks ago. Ive been suffering with severe depression n severe anxiety n panic attacks. I am on medication, im not sure theyre particularly working though. Im really interested in mindful meditation, my therapist gave me a handout explaining it a bit n im pretty sure it will help me. I gave it a go the other day and true to form my mind wandered and as soon as i noticed, i think it took a while, i acknowledged this n drew myself back into my relaxation state. Any tips? I'm like a whirlwind n i know i NEED to slow down for my health, as well as my happiness. I really do think this is going to be an important key to my recovery, and more importantly, my continued health and happiness. Toni xx

[FeeHutch]

Hi Toni
Welcome to the board

I've found Mindfulness takes time and the biggest lesson I am still learning is not to beat myself up for losing focus. The first book I used was Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world by Prof Mark Williams and Dr Danny Penman. It comes with a CD and I remember they say not to worry if your mind wonders, that's what minds do.

I hope you find lots of useful advice and support here. I used to feel like my brain was far too frantic for me to get the hang of meditation but I stuck with it and I am getting there.

[Bigpinkfan]

Thankyou for ur reply. Im gunna look that book up, so thx for that as well. Its all a huge learning curve n im happy to learn something new, i dont beat myself up about wandering mind tbh, which is weird for me cuz usually i beat myself up about everything lol. The handout my therapist gave me was very basic bt to the point so maybe i had a head start there already knowing that was ok..... I took my wife out for her birthday last night, which was a big thing for me, and i'd spent the day in my usual whirlwind - without even thinking about it. I knew id set myself up for a panic attack soon as i was about to leave the house, so i took the last 10 mins waiting for the babysitter n tried to relax n practice a bit. It really helped, even though that session didnt feel as successful as my last one, it clearly helped because i got through the evening without a single panic attack, the only time it crossed my mind was when other people sat nearby n i felt a bit claustrophobic, but i breathed deep n it helped. I think that was a high five to me! Lol it was hard work at times but i actually did it and because of the short burst of mindful meditation, i felt like it would be ok, and thats half the battle. My real battle begins incorporating mindfulness into my non medative state i think. To slow down n really notice....i will get there, i have to.

[Gareth]

A massive welcome to the board!

Excellent advice from Fiona: this takes time and patience. Give up on any notion of success/failure and just practise. As often as you can and for as much time as you can. I'm sure that you will eventually arrive at a meditation time that works for you and helps to keep your active mind in a balanced state. I will eat my hat if mindfulness meditation doesn't assist you with your anxiety issues. Remember: you are not trying to get anywhere.

[Bigpinkfan]

Thanks gareth i have the book coming tomorrow n look forward to exploring everything further. I can already feel a difference in this short amout of time, purely because im thinking about the fact i NEED to slow down, so i make myself breathe n slow down n appreciate my surroundings. It doesnt last long, BUT it is helping to slow me down n it seems to be helping me to not have the feelings of anxiety, certainly not to the point i was feeling them. I was a pretty sorry state. Im sure that i have a LOT to learn, and im looking forward to learning, another feeling that has evaded me for some time. I know i have a huge way to go before i will feel anywhere near confident in myself, and i know its going to take a lot more for me to feel properley happy, but you know when u just FEEL that something is going to totally change ur life n how u live it, thats what i've got from this.
I had to take my son into the city centre today for an eye test, and its an underground train journey plus busy town, and a hot optitians..... Add a half hour wait to be seen then into a dark room with no windows...... For me, a week ago that would jave sent me into a blind panic just thinking about it. Before we left i made sure i had taken some meditation time, and just refused to think about it, more just went with the journey, and most of the trip. I went into shops i avoid usually, and when we were about to go into a shop i hate n try and avoid, my son commented and i think my reply of just going with it and breathing impressed him lol. It occured to me at that point that i WANTED the challenge, and that i thought i was going to find it almost impossible to bring mindfulness into my non medatative state, but so some degree it was right there so high five to me again.
Tomorrow brings anither challenge, another of my sons has a dental appointment. A long journey, but im not allowing my mind to think about it and when i do, i acknowledge the apointment and allow it to leave. For now, im having an early night with a book and nothing else matters xx
Thankyou for your support. I really appreciate it xx

[rara]

Hi Toni and welcome!

You know what? Your posts are so inspiring...I've just read several cases in which you've told yourself and everyone here how you won't allow to let this condition get to you...and from that exact same mentality, you've managed to steer clear of attacks. So yes, high fives to you! Progress

The only thing I have to say in addition, is that it sounds like you didn't get much help out of the therapist's hand out, so you had to look for further reading. Again, good for you...you are a real explorer If you ever reach a stalemate reading books and forums though, you might even benefit from some additional personal assistance. Whether that's joining a class, meeting up with a friend who practices for some guidance, or even visiting a temple...there's so many people out there than can help you on your journey.

[Bigpinkfan]

Hi rara, thankyou! Funnily enough i have looked online for classes as i think they would really benefit me, but they're so expensive. I like to power walk and went for my first walk of the new year today, and passed my local buddhist temple and did wonder if it was worth popping in..... I have been in on a school trip with my son in the past, and i felt so calm and inspired whilst there, but i guess the way i have been feeling stops me venturing in :/ also, i do worry how accepting they would be of me as a lesbian. From what i have read and understand, it should be okay, but i don't want to enter someones place of calm and belief and upset anyone ..... Thankyou for taking the time to reply, i really appreciate the support x

[Steve]

I don't know where you are based but there are 8 week mindfulness classes in some areas of the country. If there is one near you, it might be worth a try. I don't think they are too expensive and direct contact with the tutor and the other participants can be very beneficial. A lot can be learnt from books and online but a real life class is 10 times better in my opinion. I did a class in oxford several years ago (as well as reading lots of books).

There are often lots of meditation groups/classes around (some free) covering a wide range of types of meditation. No harm in trying some out to see if any suit you although I would first look for an 8 week mindfulness course.

Steve

[Gareth]

BigPinkFan,

I want to promote this topic on Twitter to see if we can get you some more advice. What is your Twitter username, if you have one?

Gareth

[Bigpinkfan]

Haha ots bigpinkfan gareth. We've spoken there xx thanks steve. I'm in liverpool, i'll have a good look around xx