Hello everyone! I had come across mindfullness a few days ago and the concept really attracted me. I do meditate and do a lot of yoga but this was a big different. Normally when I am sitting and breathing in and out with my eyes closed I find it easier to focus and eliminate thoughts.
However I tried mindfulness through out my daily routine and I find it extremely difficult. I'm starting with 5 minutes, Ive tried it while I was sitting in my family room, tried it with music on, tried it while I drove and also when I cleaned the house. My focus is always my breathing but I can't last 30 seconds without a thought crossing my mind!
It's only been 3 days since I've been trying it I know its early but I feel like 5 minutes is impossible for me. Is this normal? How long will it take me? Any tips or different focuses I should have that will help me get better?
Happy to be here =]
First timer!
Hello there, and welcome to the forum! 
Stick around make some posts, we'll help you with this process.
Mindfulness meditation is a little alien at first I agree, but it gets much easier with practice I assure you. My first piece of advice would be to try and forget about thoughts for now. Thoughts come and thoughts go, but my opinon is that it really unhelpful to get hung up on 'eliminating' them. Concentrate on returning to your focus whenever your attention goes - without any judgement. Over time you will probably notice the gap between thoughts getting bigger and bigger as you become practiced in letting go of thoughts. You can never ever stop thought, they are what make you human, but you can learn how to let them go without getting entangled in them. Even now, over two years into my practice I still get weird and wonderful thoughts thrown at me on a regular basis. Remain faithful and continue this practice for a while, hopefully you will start to notice the benefits creeping into your day. This is how it was for me.
Gareth
Stick around make some posts, we'll help you with this process.
Mindfulness meditation is a little alien at first I agree, but it gets much easier with practice I assure you. My first piece of advice would be to try and forget about thoughts for now. Thoughts come and thoughts go, but my opinon is that it really unhelpful to get hung up on 'eliminating' them. Concentrate on returning to your focus whenever your attention goes - without any judgement. Over time you will probably notice the gap between thoughts getting bigger and bigger as you become practiced in letting go of thoughts. You can never ever stop thought, they are what make you human, but you can learn how to let them go without getting entangled in them. Even now, over two years into my practice I still get weird and wonderful thoughts thrown at me on a regular basis. Remain faithful and continue this practice for a while, hopefully you will start to notice the benefits creeping into your day. This is how it was for me.
Gareth
Prof Mark Williams has a number of books and CDs which I think would help.
Most importantly remember that minds will wander. Mindful med is not about emptying the mind and banishing thought. Rather you become aware of the mind's wandering. Once you notice this, well you've woken up. Without being critical at all, escort your attention back to the breath. Do this each and every time and NEVER criticise yourself. That's the damaging part.
Most importantly remember that minds will wander. Mindful med is not about emptying the mind and banishing thought. Rather you become aware of the mind's wandering. Once you notice this, well you've woken up. Without being critical at all, escort your attention back to the breath. Do this each and every time and NEVER criticise yourself. That's the damaging part.
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Craftimina
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Absolutely agree with SteveE, mindfulness is not about not having thoughts but about just noticing how thw mind works. That it is the nature of the mind to have thoughts, they will always be there to one degree or another. What you can learn is to just observe them , without judgement and when you have lost focus to be kind to yoursef, i.e refrain from criticism and come back to the breath or whatever your focus is . Gradually this process will teach you about your mind. It's taught me not to identify with my thoughts as they are not reliable. They change according to my mood, and they are often determined by whatever my mood happens to be . So when Im low I will be more susceptible to negative thoughts
and then If I allow myself to identity with them they can actually bring about and cause more negative emotion and so i feel even worse.
As Gareth says, just don't worry about them, it's the process that's Important here.
It's a journey. I'd you can allow yourself to trust the process. Having contact with others and developing a supportive network is really helpful in sharing and receiving feedback and support when you feel stuck in some way
Good luck.
and then If I allow myself to identity with them they can actually bring about and cause more negative emotion and so i feel even worse.
As Gareth says, just don't worry about them, it's the process that's Important here.
It's a journey. I'd you can allow yourself to trust the process. Having contact with others and developing a supportive network is really helpful in sharing and receiving feedback and support when you feel stuck in some way
Good luck.
SteveE wrote:Do this each and every time and NEVER criticise yourself. That's the damaging part.
...and when you do criticize yourself, be kind to yourself about it and notice that you became aware of it before returning to the present moment
Just at every moment, returning to the present, returning to sympathy, again and again and again and again and again!
And I like what Mark Williams says. He says that our minds wander - that's what minds do - and that peace isn't cultivated by having no thoughts, but by accepting what is here, now, whatever that is, as much as we can.
Mindfulness in everyday practice...hmmm...
What about actually concentrating on things that are in front of you? If you are just solely on your breathing this isn't enough...if you are cleaning, concentrate on what and how you are cleaning!
Sometimes if I'm foggy with some lack of sleep or such, I will have to say things out loud "going to the fridge, opening the fridge door, reaching for the milk, grasping the milk" etc, with occasional checks back on my breath just to make sure it's still under control. If around people, this could be hard as it will make you look like a madman, but when alone, try in small bursts.
Within months, 30 seconds can become 30 minutes!
What about actually concentrating on things that are in front of you? If you are just solely on your breathing this isn't enough...if you are cleaning, concentrate on what and how you are cleaning!
Sometimes if I'm foggy with some lack of sleep or such, I will have to say things out loud "going to the fridge, opening the fridge door, reaching for the milk, grasping the milk" etc, with occasional checks back on my breath just to make sure it's still under control. If around people, this could be hard as it will make you look like a madman, but when alone, try in small bursts.
Within months, 30 seconds can become 30 minutes!
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