Just a small realisation

Post here if you are just starting out with your mindfulness practice. Mindfulness is a really difficult concept to get your head around at first, and it might be that you would benefit from some help from others.
Deborah1
Posts: 27

Tue May 15, 2018 3:22 pm  

When my mood's low I often ssk myself which one is the real me. Last Friday I felt incredible love for life. This afternoon I feel low.

When i asked myself today I realised that the real me is both the Friday and right now.

Am i right to think that yes I love life but not right now? Is that thought logical. Or is it more that sometimes I love life and sometimes I don't?

The question seems a little pedantic but I find it relevant..

Thanks
Deb

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Gareth
Site Admin
Posts: 1465

Wed May 16, 2018 11:41 am  

Deborah1 wrote:Am i right to think that yes I love life but not right now? Is that thought logical. Or is it more that sometimes I love life and sometimes I don't?


Personally, I don't think that there is any difference between the two statements.

Our moods are an ever-changing landscape. The important question is how you feel right now.

Reading your posts it seems like you are making excellent progress. Keep meditating. Keep reading about mindfulness. Fully embed the practice into your life.

Deborah1
Posts: 27

Fri May 18, 2018 7:11 am  

Hi Gareth

Thanks for answering and yes I can see there is no difference between the two statements.

One of the reasons I like this site is that not only do people help you but also it helps you to 'eembed the practice into your life'.

In these early days of practice the idea of mindfulness is almost as important as the practice itself. I might have negative thoughts about the future and often

Deborah1
Posts: 27

Fri May 18, 2018 7:21 am  

Hi Gareth

Thanks for answering and yes I can see there is no difference between the two statements.

One of the reasons I like this site is that not only do people help you but also it helps you to 'eembed the practice into your life' as you say.

In these early days of practice the idea of mindfulness is almost as important as the practice itself. I might have negative thoughts about the future and often go onto to remember with a certain relief that 'it'll be ok cos II'll have the present'.

I think I'm beginning to realise that there is a different and viable way to think. Although II've got a long way to go it can be like a breath of fresh air sometimes. I have been very negative about the future for about the last 45 years!

alexcr87
Posts: 32

Sun May 20, 2018 1:56 am  

Hi Deborah,

I think one of the keys here is to accept what there is. You can experience joy or sadness; it doesn't really matter because it's what there is - and you can't change what there is because.. it's the only thing that is there ! We have to try to get past what we like or dislike, or what we call "good" things and "bad" things - those are still only labels we attach to reality in the end. They're still constructions of the mind.

I think this is hard for all of us. I find it hard sometimes obviously. Nobody feels only absolute joy all day long. So even though it's a rather simple idea, it's sometimes hard to put into practice because we're so accustomed to thinking in terms of good/bad or like/dislike. But a bit like watching closely your skin itching when you meditate can transform the feeling, it's possible that watching "bad" feelings can transform them as well - or maybe at least teach you a thing or two about yourself, or others, or the world around you.

Take care.

Deborah1
Posts: 27

Tue May 22, 2018 7:59 pm  

Hi Alexcr

Thanks for your post.

Until today I haven't had any negative feelings in meditation. About half way through i started to get feelings of anxiety in my chest. I found it very hard to feel it there and was aware I was trying to push it away though I should be accepting it. I did then try to go with it but rather than see it as how things were in that moment I feel a strong aversion to it.

I'm trying to remind myself that the only bad meditation is the one you didn't do.

alexcr87
Posts: 32

Sun May 27, 2018 12:48 am  

Hi,

I think that this awareness of those feelings is a good sign. Try to keep this attitude!

Don't hesitate if there's anything else!

Alex

Deborah1
Posts: 27

Tue Jun 05, 2018 7:02 am  

Hu Alexcr87

Yes, I can see that recognising this unpleasant experience is healthy.

In low mood, as now, I am aware that it is as it is. That means though that I have to accept my negative thoughts which are my fears of the future without beating myself up. If I try to tell myself these thoughts are unhealthy then they feel worse. These thoughts are the way my mental pain presents itself.

Meanwhile II'm continuing with the meditation and trying to be mindful despite finding it very difficult.

I was told, by Jon I think, that mindfulness calls for self compsssion, patience and practice. I am actually good at the self compsssion bit. Practice I try but miss possibly 2 meditations a week and being mindful I struggle with a lot. Patience. That's not easy but when I think of the way I used to handle my mental health, there is vast improvement and I think change comes very slowly for some.

Thanks for reading
Deb

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Gareth
Site Admin
Posts: 1465

Tue Jun 05, 2018 11:05 am  

Don't make being mindful something you have to 'do'. You're building struggle into your practice. Mindfulness comes easier when you are able to let go of the doing and simply be.

I don't mean this to sound like mindfulness is easy. Simple yes, easy no. Unfortunately being human means that you have a mind that is built to wander.

Deborah1
Posts: 27

Sat Jun 09, 2018 10:41 am  

Thank you Gareth for your reply.

I know you're right.

On my course the teacher said mindfulness can be a strategy to help you but it was also a way of being. It's this second bit I hold onto as living mindfully makes so much sense. It means too that you can't fail because it's the journey that matters.

Deb

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