Everyday Mindfulness

Hi everyone,

I moved to Germany almost three years ago and every winter/early-mid spring, I got depressed. This pattern of winter depression made me think of SAD, so I finally got a Vit D blood test done this week which showed a deficiency - less than half of what is considered to be within normal range. Some doctors would even say less than a quarter.

I turned to mindfulness meditation last year when I really didn't know what else to do. My depression wasn't really limiting my daily functions. I could still look after myself and my family, but I just couldn't see the point in anything and I was walking around with a black and white filter in my mind. Once I established a regular practice and the weather started to improve, I felt like myself again and the practice slipped. We were building a new place and life just sped by. Fast forward a year, I'm in the new house with lots of time to ruminate. I'm back to feeing depressed and decided to turn to mindfulness meditation again. I know that I really should have kept going with my meditation practice but I'm trying to focus on what I'm doing now…Since starting the daily meditation, I've been randomly overwhelmed by tears and moments of intense sadness - which was absent when I first started feeling depressed. In fact, I would say that I was in a perpetual state of mild anger and resentment. I've got nothing to be depressed about which makes me feel even worse.

I am wondering if there was anyone who started to notice a considerable difference after taking high dosage supplements alongside their daily meditation practice?

Thanks for you time.

Hi Injung. I'm sorry you're feeling depressed. There's a good article about yoga somewhere which talks about how the practice is not a substitute for psychotherapy. If you are depressed you need to do the thing that will help with that. It sounds like the supplements are what you need - you've had the tests - and the practice is also a help. When I was depressed some years ago I needed antidepressants to get me to a place where I could practice without being overwhelmed. It's OK to take care of yourself.

As for 'I know that I really should have kept going with my meditation practice' - we all slip, we are just people. We start from where we are now, forget the rest. And many people who are depressed 'have nothing to be depressed about' - but that's not how depression works. For me, I've found that if I am overwhelmed with emotion and can't handle it then coming back to my body or senses helps - you don't have to face it all at once. Be really, really kind to yourself and do what you need to take care of yourself. I hope you find things that help.

Hi Injung

On a nutritional level: I take 10,000 ui of Vitamin D throughout the winter and I believe it - alongside my mindfulness practice - helps me avoid getting down through those months. Patrick Holford was my starting point:

https://www.patrickholford.com/advice/v ... ing-enough

Very best of luck with everything.

monkey and gerard - thank you for your responses.

I'm trying very hard to work on self care and kindness. I'm on day 10 of a 30 day meditation pack using Headspace. Nutrition wise - I am on 1x 20,000 IU per week now. I am going to see how it goes in the next month and if I still feel like I need more help, I will see a therapist.

Taking it (or at least trying to) one day at a time.

Thanks again.

Hello Injung,

How are you feeling now?
I have noticed that I get to feeling down when winter is around. It takes a little while to set in and then I realise that I am missing the light and sun. For the last few years I decided to take the vitamin D supplements during winter too and it really did help me. I also made an extra effort to get outside more. I am self employed and can easily become absorbed in working and doing what I love indoors sometimes barely taking time for myself but I made sure especially during the winter months to go outside and catch at least 10 minutes of real sun rays a day. When it is a bright sunny day I can feel it feeding my skin and I feel recharged.
Best of wishes to you,
Rara