Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

[monkey]

Hi everyone. I don't know if there's already been a topic about this book, but couldn't fine one. I finished this a few weeks ago and found it absolutely life changing.

I posted some months back on here saying I was going to stop meditating because I found that I had been able to develop awareness of my thoughts and feelings through practice but that I found the level of craziness and self criticism I had become aware of very hard to 'let be'. I did carry on practicing after a bit of a break but in a more deliberately laid back way. But it wasn't until I read Radical Acceptance that I really realised that there are two parts of this practice (at least): awareness of what is there and acceptance of what is there. For me the awareness was a while coming but the acceptance has taken much longer and it was living in that that gap that I found distressing.

Tara Brach writes about acceptance of different types of experience in a very enlightening way. I also found that her personal examples of relationships with her family made the book more relevant to me so perhaps that also gave it more power. I'd be very interested to hear others' opinions about it, or about other books by Tara Brach. Thanks!

[Gareth]

I love what I've seen from Tara Brach. This book is definitely on my wishlist.

[Peter]

Thanks for the tip monkey! I've put it on my list. I'll report back once I've read it.

[MiM]

I have also loved what I have seen of Tara Brach. There seems to be two of these by her out there

Radical Acceptance: Awakening the Love That Heals Fear and Shame (2003)
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha (2004)

Do you (or anyone) know if these are essentially the same book or not?

BTW: I had the same problem with "A Frantic Word" There is "A practical guide to..." and "An eight week plan for..."

Probably these are just separate release names in different parts of the world, but they get confusing when the webstores finds everything for you.

[monkey]

I have also loved what I have seen of Tara Brach. There seems to be two of these by her out there

Radical Acceptance: Awakening the Love That Heals Fear and Shame (2003)
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha (2004)

Do you (or anyone) know if these are essentially the same book or not?

BTW: I had the same problem with "A Frantic Word" There is "A practical guide to..." and "An eight week plan for..."

Probably these are just separate release names in different parts of the world, but they get confusing when the webstores finds everything for you.

I think they are the same book. I was also confused but there's a review on Amazon which said they are the same (more confusing as they are bundled as the 'buy these two for some smaller amount of money'). Have a look at the Amazon reviews to check I think.

[JonW]

Yes, the two books are identical.
Jon

[Peanut]

I totally relate to what you are saying Monkey but am still stuck in that gap. I am feeling very, very overwhelmed and obsessive. When I listen to Tara I feel calm, the world makes sense, I feel hopeful and yet as soon as I stop listening it all seems to fall away and a sense of chaos comes back. Today I listened to one of her podcasts and I felt so light afterwards. And yet after that going out and running errands, seeing people, I spent the entire time thinking that I had lost what she had taught me. I was unable to sit and accept my feelings, and not only that I was believing thoughts that told me I have always and will always be like this, obsessed with being present in every moment, obsessed with taking everything in, obsessed with and therefore unable to feel okay about anything. Since beginning meditation the majority of my thoughts (80% I would say) are wondering if I am being mindful, why I am not being mindful, or am I doomed to obsess over mindfulness forever? Tara talks about accepting our non-perfections, and yet now that I am aware of mine, all I seem to do is ruminate about them.

Is persevering key here? I just feel worried, I can't sit around listening to the wisdom of Tara all day and yet I feel ill equipped without her.

[Peter]

Do you have an ocd problem, peanut?

It sounds like Tara (or her voice) is getting you in some sort of desired state. While it might be tempting to listen to her to get in that desired state, I wouldn't recommend it. Mindfulness is about accepting what is. Not about achieving a desired state.

I hope this doesn't make you criticize yourself even more.

Is it maybe possible for you to ground yourself first and then to notice and accept (be with it) this obsessive behavior itself?

Peter

[Peanut]

Hi Peter,
I would say that I definitely have OCD tendencies although I have never been formally diagnosed.
When I wrote that last post I was having a pretty hard and emotional week. It's not so much that she gets me to a desired state it is that when I listen to her talks I really begin to feel a sense of presence and understanding and awareness. Last week I had just begun to listen to her but I have noticed this week that I have already begun to use a few of her techniques such as RAIN to anchor myself in times of negative self talk and thinking, so I will continue to listen as her teachings are really inspiring.

Thanks for your advice, I will try to continue to ground myself when I notice these obsessive thoughts and be with them

[Peter]

Great that you're on the right track, Peanut! Just give it time and try to let it all just be!
Love to hear how things are going after a while!

Peter