This week starts with the tale of Marissa's boss Leanne, a woman burning the candle at both ends and in the middle, caught in 'the exhaustion funnel' which illustrates how a wide and balanced circle can shrink and narrow into a miserable and joyless funnel where we give our attention to an increasingly small number of things, narrowing our vision and excluding the things that bring us happiness.
The funnel is created as you narrow the circle of your life to focus on solving your immediate problems. As you spiral down the the funnel, you progressively give up more and more of the enjoyable things in life (which you come to see as optional) to make way for 'important' things such as work. As you slide further down, you give up even more of the things that nurish you, leaving you increasingly exhausted, indecisive and unhappy. You are eventually spat out at the bottom, a shadow of your former self. p212
I have lived through that funnel, my life very nearly narrowed so far it disappeared all together.
All work and no play - where is the fun in living that way?
First up this week is the suggestion that you write down the activities you do in a typical day and mark whether they nurish or deplete you. This can be a bit of an eye opener. For example I have spending time on Facebook and walking my kids to school. My first instinct is to say the walk to school depletes me because it is physical hard for me and leaves me in some pain and facebook nourishes me because it is a leisure activity.
But then I think about it for a while and realise that actually facebook often depletes me. Seeing unhappy, boastful or intentionally aggressive status updates and stories leaves me feeling dissatisfied with my looks, life, friend choices etc. Walking the girls to school is an important part of their day and mine. Yes it is painful but I am mindful of the need to keep mobile and this is a positive choice I am making. I get to see the trees, flowers and hear birds. I often walk with a very good friend of mine and always feel brighter for our talks whatever the subject. I miss the walk when my husband is at home and I don't do it. The walk is nourishing.
The purpose of the activity is understanding how much of our life is devoted to depleting not nourishing is the first step in redressing the balance - learning to dance again.
Practices for week 7
Carry out 3 mediatations of your choice this week. Chose one that you feel gave you appreciable nourishing benefits and choose one that you feel you didn't get fully to grips with the first time and add in breathing spaces a couple of times a day and also use that practice to ground you whenever you feel stressed. Use the breathing space and then afterwards consider what action you can take to deal with the source of stress.
When mood is low, motivation follows action, rather than the other way round.
When you put action first, motivation follows - p227
There are several more exercise in the chapter this week that encourage you to think in specific terms about how you can be kind to your body, what are enjoyable activities for you and what gives you a sense of mastery, satisfaction, achievement or control and it is also packed with suggestions for ways in which you can bring mindfulness even more into every moment as well as the formal sitting meditations. It is a big chapter, one preparing us for the end of the course next week. It involves a lot of thought and mindful reflection but it is worth it, YOU are worth devoting some time and energy too.
