Everyday Mindfulness

This section of the forum is the only one that is is taking some time to thrive, so I thought I'd start a topic to see if we can get it going a bit.

I have two very young boys: William is coming up for three years old, while James was born eight weeks ago. I started practising mindfulness when William was about six months old, and he has been such a help to me in getting my practice going. He, like any other toddler is the paragon of mindfulness, for him the world barely exists outside of the present moment, so in many ways he has taught me - he leads and I follow. Spending time with William has given me enormous amounts of informal practice. I spend time playing with him and I give all of my attention to him - we both benefit massively.

I was tremendously lucky to receive James into my life recently, he will be the second Zen Master in my house after William.

At some point when we get older, we lose this instinctive ability for mindfulness. However, this is such a magnificently powerful tool that I simply must teach it to my children; I would feel like an irresponsible parent otherwise. I've not read much around this subject, but I kind of get the feeling that it will be possible to teach this to my children without them really knowing that they are being taught anything. At least until they are about age eight or something like that. I want to do some more reading about 'mindful parenting' and how to introduce this to my children. Anyone got any suggestions for a good place to start?

I've been thinking about this. So far I have got as far as wondering if I can encourage my girls to continue to be mindful by allowing them to just carry on. Mine are 5&7 and so much at school is about being forced to pay attention, do tasks at the speed someone else decides and to answer factually and briefly.
I understand why this is so but I'm trying to allow them space and freedom at home.

I've been reading a fantastic book which is a collection of articles by Amy Johnson from which I got the wonderful quote about children not having a file in their minds called 'all the things that could go wrong' http://dramyjohnson.com/2012/01/how-to-shred-the-file/

She'd got a newish baby when she was writing this book so there are lots of baby/child references. This one about letting go of control of baby's naps when travelling really spoke to me! http://tinybuddha.com/blog/let-go-of-co ... surrender/

She also talks in another column about how children feel their feelings fully in the moment - that when they have a toy taken off them, they feel the sadness but they don't lay onto it a load of stuff about 'if I was cuter they wouldn't have taken that toy off me'''' etc.! They just allow the sadness to be and then it is gone and they are OK again. Such a great role model for us adults on staying with our feelings.

The lovely Jon Kabat-Zinn (swoon!) has written a book about mindful parenting with his wife Myla.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Everyday-Blessi ... kabat-zinn

Just ordered the above book, thanks Jon.

Pleasure, Gareth. Do let me know what you think of it as I'm tempted to add it to my collection of mindfulness books.

Hi
I too am very interested in this area. My children are 11 and 9. Maybe at this stage it is more about me helping to make sure that they don't unlearn their own mindfulness rather than me teach it to them. They are certainly better practioners than I.
I'd love to see more of this in schools as well. This is where some of the unlearning takes place, although I am not criticising (I wouldn't last a day with a class of 9 year olds). Schools are under a lot of pressure to tick so many boxes.
I recently accompanied 4 classes on a trip to a science museum. It was a 6 hour round day trip. At the venue we rattled round at a blistering pace.
I'd be surprised if there were many mindful moments in that whole day. I think we would have all learned more if we spent one tenth of that time in a local woodland.
Anyway, I think the role of adults is maybe not so much giving mindfulness as a gift to children but rather being mindful not to take it away.

Best
Don

"I think the role of adults is maybe not so much giving mindfulness as a gift to children but rather being mindful not to take it away."

Brilliantly put, Don.

Yep I agree.
We pass on our own values, expectations and coping or not methods to our kids.
Maybe the fact they are so honest and open is what makes us rush to quieten them when they make honest and straight forward comments about what's in front of them. They have clear eyesight until the rest of the world blurs the lens for them.

Don wrote:Anyway, I think the role of adults is maybe not so much giving mindfulness as a gift to children but rather being mindful not to take it away.

Beautifully put.