Don’t Let Your Life Pass You By: Be Mindful

by Alexandra Ratcliffe

Have you ever been walking gently on a treadmill when you hit a button by mistake and you stopped suddenly with a jolt? Hopefully that never happened to you whilst running full speed ahead or you would have been catapulted over the machine and you wouldn’t be here to read this at all.

Sometimes we have these moments in life when your trajectory, your plans, your forward-moving day, is suddenly and unexpectedly halted by an event out of the blue.

A small incident happened to me recently, involving some minor damage to a new car. No matter how minor, it still hurts your pocket and messes up your day. A friend asked me afterwards, “What was the universe trying to tell you?” My first response was, “Duh? What kind of a question is that? Something just leapt out from nowhere and hit me.” But on second thought, it could have been avoided. Yes, through greater mindfulness.

You may know this stop-and-take-stock experience from some jolting experience you’ve had. It can range from just a small incident that annoyingly stops you for a while; like once when another woman and I bumped each other, jumped out of our already-old vehicles, looked at the scratches and said, “It’s okay, no worries, I gotta go” and waved each other off. Or, horribly, it could be a serious accident and a life-changing event. Or it could be the diagnosis of an illness, for yourself or a loved one, which suddenly changes your entire focus. Or a death.

The death of someone near to you is the ultimate jolt-to-a dead-stop on your treadmill of life. It’s so final; maybe you didn’t even get to say goodbye.

But if you’re lucky, it’s also a wake- up call, a potent jolt to help you realize that dying is the one thing we cannot avoid, no matter how fast we run. That stop button will be pressed for all of us, and all your efforts will be finalized. And how will it be when you are thus stopped in your tracks?

Will you feel it was a life well lived? Did you have time to smell the roses, hug your children, marvel at a sunset or wonder at the moonlight? Did you worry your way through it, about money and relationships and politics and work, and the “am I good enough?” as well? Did you get from A to B fast enough and did you achieve enough and fulfil all that life is asking of you? To do better, to be someone, to get somewhere, or to have your 15 minutes of fame and be adored on social media?

A relative passed away this week; one that I did not know well, but she was beloved of her family, for her kindness and her great humour. You feel the tragic loss and the great loss to others, and you stop your treadmill for a while. No matter what great and good works you were engaged in, or what necessities drove you, to recognize the end of a life is to question your own: What am I doing and why am I doing it? What am I feeling and why am I feeling those things? And which of those things really, really matter? And what does matter anyway?

Each of us will have our own answer to that.

To many, without doubt, just remaining upright on that treadmill for as long as we can, even with ever increasing speed, will matter a lot. And understandably. But I am writing now to suggest this: maybe we should hit the stop button, now, while we still can. Smell the coffee, and the roses and anything else sweet or lovely nearby. Hold your partner’s hand and tell them you love them. Stroke your cat. Hug a friend. Look into their eyes. Breathe. The sun is shining.

Slow motion is good. In slow motion, everything is brighter, clearer ……and funnier. And everyone appreciates that person who has the time and space for a moment’s gesture of kindness. That always matters.

So, today, give yourself a gift: Be mindful. Don’t let your life pass you by.