Anyone found a good way of talking about mindfulness?

[Gareth]

Mindfulness has transformed my life beyond all recognition. How much it helps me living with MS and bringing up my two boys cannot be overstated. This is without all the other benefits which are numerous.

The thing is, beyond Everyday Mindfulness, I barely talk about mindfulness at all. At first, I was a bit gung-ho talking about it all the time, but I quickly came to realise that's it's actually impossible to understand the true value of this thing, until you have actually been submerged in it for a while.

I see people caught in the traps that the mind sets every single day, and while I feel I have found something that could really help them, I end up saying nothing at all. The last thing I want to do is appear sanctimonious. Instead I just write a Tweet about it for publication on @mindfuleveryday

I have something that I am deeply passionate about, which I'm unable to talk about with my loved ones. It's quite hard. Has anybody found a way to talk about mindfulness with someone who is not a practitioner?

[JonW]

It's a good question.
Quite a few of my friends have started to look into mindfulness as a result of my talking about it.
The conversation usually starts with them sitting there talking about how anxious they are, how they never seem to have the time to relax etc.
Then I say, "Yeah, I used to feel like that all the time. Then I found mindfulness."
Then they get curious as they want a bit of what I've got. So I'll recommend a book or a live course. A couple of my friends are doing 8-week courses right now, another couple are reading Williams/Penman.
Apart from that, all we can do is embody mindfulness in our daily actions. Either it rubs off on people or it doesn't.
As we all know from experience, mindfulness will find you when the time is right. If the time ain't right, no amount of enthusiasm will convince someone to look into it.
Jon, Hove

[paulpsych]

I know exactly what you mean Gareth. My wife is a Health Visitor who deals with some very traumatic cases and her work is very stressful and I can see how mindfulness would help her so much, but I'm afraid my attempts to "convert" her have thus far fallen on deaf ears.
Having said that, I think the best "advert" for mindfulness is that she, and my work colleagues, have noticed a change in me (for the better) and I just drop in mentions every now and again about how much it helps me. But at the end of the day, people only come to these things when they are ready to do so - if at all

[Sarahem]

This is a great topic. I've been wondering the same thing. I have a friend who at the moment is going through a particularly difficult time and is trying to deal with it by keeping never endingly busy so she doesn't have to confront any of the difficult feelings. I wanted to suggest mindfulness but worried about seeming "evangelical". I mentioned in passing a few times how mindfulness is interesting as it encourages turning towards the difficulty and feeling the emotions, I'd often bring it up in relation to my own difficulty and was open about the fact that I've used it for anxiety etc. For quite a while nothing changed and she continued her way of dealing with things. However, she just recently started going to a meditation class of her own volition.
Similarly at work when I used to mention mindfulness people would kind of joke about it - "oh mindfulness? I'd rather be mindLESS" etc etc. I decided not to mention it at all for ages as I felt a bit self conscious but more recently decided to be open if someone asked me for instance what I was doing at a weekend, I would tell them I'd been at a mindfulness session, if that was the case. Since then one of them sidled up to me in the office and said she'd started using the headspace app. Another colleague who originally dismissed it as a load of hooey is now constantly asking about it.
I now wonder if it's just a case of providing a light sprinkling of info and then letting the seeds grow in people's minds.
Thanks for a great topic
xx

[paulpsych]

Well put Sarah

[thezenteacher]

Hi,

This is my first post, so bear with me.

This is great question. As a teacher, I often have students who are upset, stressed out, disorganized, or unfocused. When they come to me this way, the first thing I do is look them in the eye and say, "Breathe." Typically, they look at me like I'm crazy, so I say it again, calmly and more slowly. "I'm serious. Breathe. (pause). Just breathe." When they take a giant insuck of breath, I tell them "No. That was a gasp. That's different. Now just breathe."

When it works--which is usually--it forces them to return to the moment and focus on what is happening before them right then, not on the events or worry that are occurring in their minds or imagination. And sometimes I steal the old Ram Dass line and tell them to "Be Here Now!"

I really don't ever have to say the word "Mindfulness," but they tend to get the idea and leave a little more focused, relaxed, and in the moment. That's not the ONLY way to introduce Mindfulness, but getting them in touch with their breathe impulse is a start.

Thanks,

Dan
http://www.thezenteacher.com
Twitter: @thezenteacher

[SheilaB]

My experiences are similar. I know at times in the past I've fallen into the trap of wanting to convert all my friends. These days I try not to bang on about it - but they will notice something, eg me not getting stressed by my son getting upset, or they'll ask me how I coped with something difficult & I'll say 'mindfulness', and that's really powerful.

Lots of friends are now becoming interested or have begun practising, and it is something special to be able to practice together.