Mindfulness, stress and anxiety

[Pocketbattleship]

Hello everyone. I am new to this forum and to mindfulness. I discovered mindfulness about 4 months ago and I have been trying to practice and engage with it ever since. I am currently working my way through an online course which is proving very helpful.

Recently I have really started to become more committed to mindfulness i.e. practicing every day. I have been through an incredibly difficult time of late which has landed me in a very dark place. My mother suffered an very severe stroke 10 weeks ago which has left her without speech and she is unable to walk. I was coping fine whilst she was in hospital, but when she was discharged a couple of weeks ago I just went to pieces. Despite my mother having a full care package at home, I wasn't at all prepared for the amount of support she would need from me. A major problem for me here, is that I have Cystic Fibrosis and I need to put a tremendous amount of effort into keeping myself well every single day. To cut a very long story short, after only two weeks of my mum going home, I have landed myself in hospital. The stress has taken its toll and effected my physical health.

I know I don't have time on my side and I need to squeeze every possible drop of enjoyment out of life. I'm 36, and the mean predicted life expectancy for someone with CF is just 40. This was a catalyst for really connecting with mindfulness. I don't have time to be anxious, worried and stressed about my mum and my own health problems. I need to find a way to enjoy every moment.

As I said I am in hospital at the moment and this has given me the opportunity to focus on myself and my mental health. And so I thought I'd join this forum and give mindfulness a really good go.

I only have one concern and I'm not sure if this is a bit silly. When I am practicing mindfulness meditation and letting go of my worries ( I sometimes visualise them departing on a train as I stand and watch from the platform), I am concerned that this is not facing up to my actual problems and rather, is just burying my head in the sand. Won't my worries just come back and bite me again later on? Can anyone help me get my head around this?

Thank you for reading

[JonW]

Hi Pocketbattleship,
First thing. A warm welcome to this forum. Glad to have you on board.
I'm truly sorry to hear that things have been so tough for you and your mum.
A gentle caveat: none of us on this non-profit site make claims to be experts or trained practitioners. So there are limits in terms of what we can advise upon.
That said, I think you'll find us a very friendly bunch who will always try to do our best to help.
Can you provide a clearer idea re. your daily mindfulness practice?
If you'd prefer to talk privately, feel free to PM me.
Best wishes,
Jon, Hove

[Gareth]

I need to put a tremendous amount of effort into keeping myself well every single day. To cut a very long story short, after only two weeks of my mum going home, I have landed myself in hospital. The stress has taken its toll and effected my physical health.

I'd eat my hat if mindfulness didn't help you in this regard. Mindfulness has been a nuclear bomb for stress management and staying healthy for me, where everything else was just small-arms fire.

Go slowly and gently though, this thing is tricky to start with. We are trying to change the way that our minds have worked for our entire lives which is no small task. This thing needs lots of practice and tons of self-compassion. Meditate every day, even on the days that you don't want to, especially on the days that you don't want to. We will help you every step of the way. I know Jon talks about us not being experts, but we are all learning all the time and there are also some very experienced voices that we can call on.

I can personally relate to your story. I too am 36 years old with a serious health conditiion (progressive MS). Mindfulness has enriched my life beyond all measure; I hope it can help you too.

[Pocketbattleship]

Thanks for your replies.

With regards to my own practice, one thing that mindfulness is helping me with already is listening and paying attention to my thoughts. Its incredible how much my mind wanders to negative things and I am now realising that this is so unhelpful. So, in terms of my own practice, I now greet every thought with 'gentle curiosity' and try to send negative thoughts on their way. I like to remember that thoughts are not facts. This helps a lot. I also try to meditate but I'm struggling to do this every day for fear of becoming to obsessed with mindfulness. But perhaps I need to allow myself to become a little obsessed at first. I also read about mindfulness practice to try and understand it better.

Gareth, thank you for sharing your story. It does sound like we arrived at mindfulness from similar experiences. Thanks for the tips too.

[JonW]

"I also try to meditate but I'm struggling to do this every day for fear of becoming to obsessed with mindfulness."
That, in itself, is an exercise in mindfulness.
I feel it's important to stress that the goal is not to strive to be mindful all the time. There's no goal as such and it's not about striving. Often, it's more about catching ourselves when we're not being mindful.
In my experience the practice beds down and being mindful becomes a habit, replacing the habit of ruminating and worrying that used to inform my life.
As Gareth says, practice is key but there are no hard or fast rules about how long you need to meditate each day. Over time you'll find a daily practice that suits your needs and fits in with your lifestyle.
All best,
Jon, Hove

[Gareth]

In my experience the practice beds down and being mindful becomes a habit, replacing the habit of ruminating and worrying that used to inform my life.

Mine too. It's hard to describe, but it just becomes a way of being; it did for me at least.

Let go of worries about becoming obsessed; it's just more thinking. I think I would qualify as being 'obsessed' by mindfulness, but I know that I am obsessed, and I am OK with that.

[piedwagtail91]

"I think I would qualify as being 'obsessed' by mindfulness, but I know that I am obsessed, and I am OK with that."
me too if i'm honest.
i can't add to the posts by jon and gareth, all i can do is agree with them and back them up.

[Pocketbattleship]

Thanks all. I hope mindfulness will become habitual for me too. I think I'm well on my way. I'm glad I found this forum

[JonW]

You're welcome, Pocketbattleship.
Hope you stick around here. Apart from anything else, it would be good to hear how you're doing.
All good things,
Jon, Hove

[katie123]

You're welcome, Pocketbattleship.
Hope you stick around here. Apart from anything else, it would be good to hear how you're How to be tension free from mind.
All good things,
Jon, Hove

"I think I would qualify as being 'obsessed' by mindfulness, but I know that I am obsessed, and I am OK with that."
me too if i'm honest.
i can't add to the posts by jon and gareth, all i can do is agree with them and back them up.

thanks for sharing your views.nowadays,stress is very common.It is happened due to some mistakes which we have done in our & regrets after ding dat.