Mindfulness and smoking

[piedwagtail91]

i've spent some time thinking of a response but can't add to what jon says above.
mick

[Kath]

Thanks Jon - that's exactly how I feel - I tend to try to think about a craving as "the mind now has a craving (to distance 'myself' from 'the thought') - I choose, just for right now in this moment, to not smoke a cigarette" I haven't stopped completely yet mind you - so maybe it's not the best approach, but it's certainly a liberating feeling to not be completely at the mercy of a craving . . . .

[JonW]

Kath,
This has been one of the most fascinating of threads on this forum. Thank you so much for starting it.
I'm hoping that you will become a big part of this ongoing, ever-growing, ever-fascinating, all-supporting mindfulness community we have here.
As Gareth heads off on a well-deserved holiday, a big thanks to him for getting Everyday Mindfulness started and for sustaining it.
All good things,
Jon

[Kath]

Thank you so much Jon. I'm loving my new life since 'discovering' mindfulness and am really looking forward to being involved in the forum too. Happy holidays Gareth xx

[davismcraig]

Hey Kath,

An additional tool I would highly recommend trying is how you identify with smoking in your mind. Are you identifying as someone who is "trying to quit smoking" "quit smoking" or a "non-smoker". This identification plays a key role in your ability to quit smoking. Basically someone who says they "quit smoking" have a much more difficult time quitting because they are still identified with smoking. Comparatively someone who says they are a "Non-smoker" has a much easier time not smoking because the identification for them is simple, they don't smoke. Peter Sage explains it very well during his YouTube video on mediation which you can see here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q50vo8HxcRo

Hope this helps,

Davis

[Gareth]

a big thanks to him for getting Everyday Mindfulness started and for sustaining it.

Your thanks are greatly appreciated and give me a nice glow inside.

But really don't think of this as hard work on my part. Mindfulness has been so good to me that I have a burning desire to further its cause. The site and the forum are the least that I can do, after the transformation that mindfulness has made to my life, and to be honest, I love every second of it.

[Kath]

A bit of an update - I was doing so really well. I'd cut down to 5 a day (a huge cut down from 40 or 50), then my Husband decided to just stop. And stop he has - literally just like that, no issues, no drama, no stress. Anyway - I've gone into a mega spiral of inadequacy, frustration and screaming thoughts. I'm really struggling today. I couldn't get in touch with my breath atall last night. I had pencilled in yesterday as my stop smoking day - and had done fine, then my husband announced he'd stopped (he didn't know I was planning to stop finally yesterday), and now it's all down the pan. My focus has gone, my body's stress levels are through the roof and my mind is having such a screaming tantrum it's drowning everything out.

Any advice anyone please?? I even feel I'm back to square one with the meditation practice too - I'm off to try again . . . . . . . . . Sorry folks - I know this is a bit of a negative post but this morning I'm very down. Maybe (hopefully) this is one of those times when you need something the most it comes through for you - maybe some meditation and refocus will get me there . . . . . .

I have to believe it will - I absolutely detest the person I am right now. My mind is that of a spoilt, panic stricken, stupid selfish child.

[Kath]

A bit of an update - I was doing so really well. I'd cut down to 5 a day (a huge cut down from 40 or 50), then my Husband decided to just stop. And stop he has - literally just like that, no issues, no drama, no stress. Anyway - I've gone into a mega spiral of inadequacy, frustration and screaming thoughts. I'm really struggling today. I couldn't get in touch with my breath atall last night. I had pencilled in yesterday as my stop smoking day - and had done fine, then my husband announced he'd stopped (he didn't know I was planning to stop finally yesterday), and now it's all down the pan. My focus has gone, my body's stress levels are through the roof and my mind is having such a screaming tantrum it's drowning everything out.

Any advice anyone please?? I even feel I'm back to square one with the meditation practice too - I'm off to try again . . . . . . . . . Sorry folks - I know this is a bit of a negative post but this morning I'm very down. Maybe (hopefully) this is one of those times when you need something the most it comes through for you - maybe some meditation and refocus will get me there . . . . . .

I have to believe it will - I absolutely detest the person I am right now. My mind is that of a spoilt, panic stricken, stupid selfish child.

[JonW]

This isn't a failure. It's an invitation to try again.
It's so easy to get caught in the trap of comparing our lives with others. "He's succeeding. I'm failing."
If meditation is proving challenging, maybe try a different approach. Perhaps try meditating to music for a few days. Brian Eno's Discreet Music always works for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOpRj927vRc
Meanwhile, try to be with the nicotine craving and the accompanying frustration rather than keep wrestling with those feelings. Notice the thoughts as they arise - "I want to smoke…I feel I've failed…" Remind yourself they are only thoughts, not facts.
Most of all, read through this entire thread and pay closest attention to the excellent advice that you've given others. That advice is for you too.
What's more, it's always worth remembering that most unyielding of truths: "This too will pass."
All good things,
Jon

[Gareth]

I think that eventually everyone must come to something like this in their mindfulness journey.

For me it was a new job that I was assigned to at work. I had been practising mindfulness for a long time, and it had made such a change to my wellbeing that I had been able to return to work after a long period off into a recuperative role. Eventually that role disappeared, and I was transferred into another department. My mind didn't like this, not one little bit. I had gone through an extensive period of near-serenity brought to me by my practice, and all of a sudden my mind felt in a complete mess, like the mindfulness rug had been pulled from beneath me.

As always with mindfulness the answer is simple, if incredibily difficult: acceptance. Accept, accept and then accept some more. Allow yourself to feel this way. You are a human being and these feelings are completely normal, but they won't last forever. Try and approach these feelings with friendly curiosity. Where do they show up in your body? Do they have a colour or a texture?

Personally, I would recommend that you continue to meditate. When I was in the middle of the situation I described above, my entire meditation would consist of me pulling myself back from thoughts like "the new job is going to be too hard for you," and "you will be too tired to spend any time with your family".

Perversely, this is just your mind trying to protect you - it's the way that we are built. With some time to process this external event, I feel sure that things will settle.