FPIAFW - Week 4: Moving Beyond The Rumour Mill

[Eky]

Music would be good, I'll give that a try. I'm very new to meditation so tending to use it 'straight from the tin' at present. I'd love to try sound and thoughts outside - but it'll be a couple of months before that would be sensible. I do try some mindfull walks and the wind, rain and early birdsong are good - but definitely not up for a twenty minute sit down yet! Thanks for the music idea, I'll let you know how it goes.

[Eky]

I didn't get around to using music to provide sound, I started to leave a window open and benefited from birdsong, wind, rain, cars passing and even the odd dog barking in the distance. I'm glad that I repeated week four and now feel more ready to move on to week five. I'm also glad I found this forum, especially useful for people learning about mindfulness without the benefit of a group - thanks.

[purplyworply]

I have just finished Week 4 and it seems to me impossible to "view" a thought, acknowledge its presence etc. without also changing it -- generally bringing it to an end in my experience. I feel that I AM my thoughts, in this case. A bit like Shrodinger's Cat -- to observe it is to alter it. I feel that the book is telling me to separate myself into two parts that, in my own head at least, can't be separated. So, a thought might arise and what I can do is label it (oh, there goes a thought about x) and I can watch it float away. But in fact, what is happening in reality is that it is my act of acknowledging it and labelling it that has made it float away. It is NOT that I can just sit there while it does its own thing without interference by me. I feel I'm at a brick wall on this. Any help gratefully accepted.

[JonW]

Hi purply,
For me, it's the difference between observing a thought simply as a thought and getting caught up in the content of the thought. It's when we get caught up in the content of thoughts that we're dragged away from the present moment. By noticing a thought simply as a thought, one of the 76,000 or so thoughts that arise each day, we don't give it any power.
Does that make any sense?
All best,
Jon

[Gareth]

Hi Purply,

These things are so subtle that they are almost impossible to understand.

The way that I see it is that the thought arises, and once it has arisen, that's it, there's nothing we can do about the fact it entered our head.

But if we notice the thought, we then have a choice. We can bring ourselves back to the present moment and allow the thought to disappear from whence it came. So in essence, your naming it and acknowledging it has made it float away, but is that a bad thing?

It all depends on what the initial thought was.

[purplyworply]

Hi Gareth and JonW, both of your comments make sense, and fit with what I am doing. I was just afraid that I was supposed to be achieving something else -- kind of thinking the thought and not thinking it at the same time. But your replies have given me confidence that I am on the right track. Thanks very much.

[JonW]

Hi purply.
Sounds to me like you're right on track. Just keep noticing those thoughts as they arise and gently accept that they are just thoughts. "Mere secretions of the mind" as Jon Kabat-Zinn writes. If we learn not to attach to the content of the thoughts, they have a funny habit of evaporating into thin air.
It's worth remembering that mindfulness can take time to settle in. Being kind and patient towards oneself is key.
Nice and easy - as Mr. Sinatra advised in song.
Cheers,
Jon, Hove

[Peanut]

Hello,

I have just started week four but currently have a best friend staying with me. I am living overseas/holidaying and she is here for a month. I find most of my time consumed by her and was wondering if it would be okay to repeat week four and just do one of each meditation a day rather than the recommended two?
We are out drinking and dining most nights and I really cannot meditate after a few drinks haha. As I was writing this I thought "god everyone on here will think I am pathetic I am on holiday and I can't find enough time to meditate when they make the time and have busy, hectic lives" BUT after today's meditation I recognised that as a thought and not necessarily a fact

[JonW]

Hi Peanut,
None of this is carved in stone and there are times when our practice has to yield to life's imperatives - especially if life is taken over with fine dining and copious amounts of alcohol.
One option is to do what you can with week four while your friend is staying, then go back to week four when you have more time and do that week's practice more by the book, as it were.
Eat, drink and be merry,
Cheers,
Mine's a treble,
Jon

[Peanut]

Hi Jon,
Thanks very much for your reply, it has indeed been a very merry time!
I have not meditated in over a week as alas another friend arrived and I couldn't get a moment to myself - and when I could it was nursing a hangover haha.

I have been trying to follow the mindfulness summit currently happening and did a little meditation from that today. I will also do the three minute breathing space. I feel like I am easing my way back in. My friend is currently on a little European tiki tour for the week.

I really really want to get back into Mark Williams. Is it okay to return to week four from tomorrow and just do six days this week? Or do I have to start the whole course again?

I do feel a sense of underlying judgment of myself because we will be leaving our current spot at the end of the month and begin a cross country tour visiting family etc. I just feel worried that all of this will get in the way and I won't be able to 'properly' do the 8 weeks. What do you think is the best way to move forward?

Thanks very much!