Where to start?

[piedwagtail91]

being with or experiencing the bad or unpleasant makes the good or pleasant all the more better.
when you're experiencing something unpleasant it's best to try to let go of all the thoughts and stories that the mind attaches to it.
these usually make things worse.
sometimes naming the emotion /what you're feeling (anger , frustration, sadness etc.) can take some of the sting out of it.
these are all painful emotions.
then by focussing your awareness in the body where the emotion/feeling makes itself felt and being with that and experiencing that/ breathing your awareness into that place without trying to make it go away then sometimes after only a short time that emotion will fade.
it's normal to try and block the unpleasant out but that takes a lot of effort and mindspace and it usually only comes back or causes you to spend a lot of time ruminating.
experiencing things as they happen usually lessens the suffering.
the pain is there to be with.
once you've experienced it and explored it, allowed it to be there without trying to make it go away, then if it does come back it has a lot less power, less hold over you., you're familiar with it.
this is an extract from chris germers book about the pain of resisting things, it can be used for physical pain or the pain of intense emotions

"There's a simple formula that captures our instinctive response to pain:
Pain x Resistance = Suffering
“Pain” refers to unavoidable discomfort that comes into our lives, such as an accident, an illness, or the death of someone we love.
“Resistance” refers to any effort to ward off pain, such as tensing the body or ruminating about how to make pain go away.
“Suffering” is what results when we resist pain. Suffering is the physical and emotional tension that we add to our pain, layer upon layer.
In this formula, how we relate to pain determines how much we’ll suffer. As our resistance to pain is reduced to zero, so is our suffering.
Pain times zero equals zero. Hard to believe?
The pain of life is there, but we don’t unnecessarily elaborate on it.
We don’t carry it with us everywhere we go.
An example of suffering is spending hours and hours thinking about how we should have sold our stocks before the market collapsed or worrying that we might get sick before a big upcoming event. Some amount of reflection is necessary to anticipate and prevent problems, but we often get stuck regretting the past or worrying about the future.
Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional. It seems that the more intense our emotional pain is, the more we suffer by obsessing, blaming ourselves, and feeling defective. The good news is that since most of the pain in our lives is really suffering—the result of fighting the experience of pain—we can actually do something about it."

Christopher K. Germer, PhD "The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion"

[JonW]

The 8-week course is carefully calibrated so that you're eased in fairly gently before learning how to turn towards difficulty in week 5.
Try not to anticipate what lies ahead and try not to ask too many questions at this stage. The course will guide you through. But don't hesitate to ask on the forum if any questions come up.
Cheers,
Jon

[anydayanything]

Now I see. It makes perfect sense.

@Jon I am a very curious person and I really need understand something to accept it. Otherwise I feel like it's stupid and I'll regret having done it after I have.

Btw how many of you are actually buddhists? If I understand correctly mindfulness somewhat origins from buddhism. But I'm sure there is still a difference between being a buddhist and living mindfully...

[piedwagtail91]

i'm no buddhist! though i do like a lot of their stuff.
mindfulness does have it's roots in buddhism and yoga but mbct mindfulness which was developed from the mbsr version which JKZ put together is a standalone program/therapy with no religious connections at all.

i like to think of the acceptance of mindfulness like this
buddhist quote!
“If one comes across a person who has been shot by an arrow one does not spend time wondering about where the arrow came from, or the caste of the individual who shot it, or analysing what type of wood the shaft is made of, or the manner in which the arrowhead was fashioned.
Rather one should focus on immediately pulling out the arrow.”

or be with what's there in the moment.

[JonW]

Hi anyday,
Completely understand what you mean about needing to understand something before accepting it. Paradoxically, mindfulness seems to bed down deeper when little effort is made to understand it. Or, as my teacher said to me recently, "Mindfulness is more caught than taught." It's a subtle wee wonder, mindfulness.
As far as I know, there's no-one on the forum who would say they're a Buddhist. That's not to say Buddhists would be unwelcome here. Far from it.
Speaking personally here, as I wouldn't want to seem as though I'm speaking on behalf of all EM members, I see Everyday Mindfulness as embodying the pure essence of mindfulness practice. Whilst respecting the Buddhist roots of the practice, EM is a secular site, just as mindfulness is a secular practice.
When Jon Kabat-Zinn introduced mindfulness into his US-based clinic in the late 70s, he was a Zen Buddhist. But he decided that mindfulness should be all-inclusive, therefore he decided to keep Buddhism in the background, as it were.
On a personal note, I read a lot about Buddhism/Zen/Taoism/Advaita but I wouldn't describe myself as a Buddhist or indeed anything else. I guess I'm with Groucho Marx on this: "I wouldn't want to join any club that would have me as a member."
Good things,
Jon, Hove

[Gareth]

the further from the body I expand my awareness the more my mind seems to drift off

Opposite for me. Can't keep my attention still for a second when I body scan.

[rara]

Also I would like to know how one is supposed to notice and acknowledge almost everything around us all day long? I mean I struggle concentrating on more than one thing at the time anyway...

Haha, work on focusing on something for 5 seconds first. Trust me, you'll be jumping hoops!

[rara]

If I understand correctly mindfulness somewhat origins from buddhism. But I'm sure there is still a difference between being a buddhist and living mindfully...

Absolutely not! It has always "existed", of course, but Buddhism is quite a modern religion, so mindfulness is often associated with it as it is a big part of the practice. It's just that it's the closest thing we have exposure to outside of secular practice.

The difference between Buddhism and living mindfully...hmmm. Well, to be uber short, with Buddhism you get all the extras. Like what the Buddha taught... all the other social/well being/caring for you neighbour stuff that generally comes with religion. If you aren't interested in all that, just work on the mindfulness. Buddhism does have some pretty cool philosophical stuff inside though (barring some schools of thought. Be careful.)