FPIAFW - Week 5: Turning Towards Difficulties

[Eky]

I had an interesting experience today; the part of the sounds and thoughts meditation that asks you to see you thoughts as events that pass bye has been difficult because, in meditation mode, I don't get many thoughts. However, today I was able to separate myself from thoughts and was able to sense their transient nature, and it was not during meditation. I get the impression that something is working at some level.

[JonW]

Excellent news, Eky.
Once it is seen that you are not your thoughts, it's impossible to "unsee" it.
Or, in the words of Brian Connelly, former singer with glam ravers The Sweet, "You can't unfry an egg."
The breath is inhaled and exhaled, the blood pumps, hair grows, thoughts come and go. All of it a functioning of the human organism. The average person has 76,000 thoughts per day. Some of those thoughts are useful ("I have a dental appointment at 2.30", "I need to stock up with cornflakes", "I must remember to bring the wedding ring…" But the vast majority of thoughts are just mental chatter, "mere secretions of the mind," as Kabat-Zinn puts it. We don't need to get attached to those thoughts. We have a choice. It just takes practice.
Cheers,
Jon, Hove

[Eky]

Hi Jon, thanks for your reply, it helps to know I'm on the right path as this is all fairly new to me. One thing I wonder about recently is do we need to be gentle when dealing with a wandering mind - a lot of the course talks about gently leading the mind back to the point of focus. However, I find that I tend to judge the quality of what the mind presents e.g. if I'm focussing on the breath and the mind presents me with a reminder of an appointment or something I need to deal with, I will thank it and say I'll deal with that later, but if it presents me with negative rumination or a pointless worry, I tend to tell it not to be silly or point out that there is no evidence to support the thought. It's still at a fairly gentle level, but should I try to filter out the scolding aspect? Thanks, Eugene

[piedwagtail91]

i would try to filter out anything that isn't kind.
the mind is only trying to look after you, by reminders and trying to avoid harm in the future by running over past experiences to see if they can be changed and improved, it's just that it's overprotective and overactive sometimes.
your mind and inner voice is still you so try as best you can to be kind.
with practice you can lose the inner bully with the judging , hurtful and critical comments and instead have a calm , compassionate 'inner voice' a voice that will encourage and support you rather than criticise and chastise.

[JonW]

"with practice you can lose the inner bully with the judging , hurtful and critical comments and instead have a calm , compassionate 'inner voice' a voice that will encourage and support you rather than criticise and chastise."
Beautifully put.
Self-compassion does indeed become habitual, with practice. As does the deep-seated realisation that thoughts are only thoughts, and we are not our thoughts. Over time, with practice, all thoughts, both positive and negative, become less "sticky".

[Eky]

Thanks for the above replies, you guys have given me a fair amount to consider. My inner voice has been pretty negative, both towards me and others, for a long time, and I think I was falling into a trap of tending to answer in kind. This week I've been trying to develop a more neutral response - but have a way to go. I've also wandered a bit from the FPIAFW course and need to get back there, both in meditation practice and in posts ( I'm sure this thread would have fitted better in the beginning mindfulness section).

[JonW]

Hope it all goes well for you, Eky. Do let us know how you're getting on.
All good things,
Jon, Hove

[Gareth]

It depends on your definition of kindness I guess.

Often I'll catch myself thinking, and I'll mentally tell myself that "this is pointless," and I'll bring myself. I don't see it as being unkind to myself, just a recognition that I am thinking again: an invitation to come back to the present moment.

Without question we need to be kind to ourselves at all times. Not unkind at the very least.

[Eky]

Well, after several weeks stumbling about in the dark, I finally got the principle of turning towards difficulties one of the issues was that I found it difficult to sit through meditations 4 & 5 and then go on to six - had a lot of back pain, but this has faded now. I had expected that the physical reaction I would get would be centred in my stomach, but what I got was a flooding sensation starting from my head, and I recognised this from previous situations when I've been presented with crises. Something else I've noticed when meditating in recent days is that I get very warm, even in a cold room - is this something that others have experienced?

[Jesy_par]

Hi Guys, I got in to about day 5 of Week 5 but was then poorly for 3 or 4 days and couldn't continue the practice. Do I just go back and start the week 5 again?