Breathing

[monkeymind]

I've found mindfulness a bit difficult to get into. I've let my practice lapse a few times but I want to try to make it a more permanent habit.
One aspect I've had trouble with is focusing on the breath.
I've read (and listened) about this from various sources and each says something slightly different, so I'd like to ask the more experienced meditators here some questions about breathing, if that's ok.
To what extent do you think I should be "focusing" on my breath?
If I get distracted by other thoughts then I'm supposed to 'come back to' the breath but what does that mean? Does that mean concentrate on it?
Should my mind be sort of empty but aware of the breathing, or should it in some way be concentrated on the breathing?
Should I be curiously exploring my breath without focusing on it?
I find it very difficult to be paying so much attention to the breath without controlling it. Does anyone have any tips for not controlling the breath?

thanks

[Gareth]

Welcome back!

I'm not a mindfulness teacher, but I think I'm right in saying that the awareness we are trying to cultivate in mindfulness is the gentle, curious awareness that we are all naturally capable of; we aren't trying to force anything. You might feel your breath as the whooshing of air into your nostrils, or you might feel it as the rising and falling of your abdomen. However you feel it is the right way to feel it.

Have you ever tried experimenting with different anchors? My natural affinity seems to be with sound. I usually meditate to ambient music or the sounds that I can hear around me.

[monkeymind]

Thanks for your reply Gareth - thoughtful as ever.
I haven't really tried using sound (or other anchors), but since you suggested it, I've tried it once and will try again a bit more to see how I get on with it.
I think my question still stands though - is it a sort of passive awareness that we should be aiming for, noticing along the way? Or more of an active concentration?
If, just by way of an example, I frame my question around observing a candle.. should I be aiming to keep the candle flame in my peripheral vision, having awareness of the flickering, or should I be sort of staring rather intently at the flame?
Do you see what I mean? I'm trying to ascertain the level of focus I should be aiming for.

I appreciate that most people here aren't teachers but I think it's useful to hear the opinions of experienced practitioners who have found mindfulness to be helpful and feel they're on the right path with what they're doing.

thanks very much.

[rara]

I've found mindfulness a bit difficult to get into. I've let my practice lapse a few times but I want to try to make it a more permanent habit.
One aspect I've had trouble with is focusing on the breath.
I've read (and listened) about this from various sources and each says something slightly different, so I'd like to ask the more experienced meditators here some questions about breathing, if that's ok.
To what extent do you think I should be "focusing" on my breath?
If I get distracted by other thoughts then I'm supposed to 'come back to' the breath but what does that mean? Does that mean concentrate on it?
Should my mind be sort of empty but aware of the breathing, or should it in some way be concentrated on the breathing?
Should I be curiously exploring my breath without focusing on it?
I find it very difficult to be paying so much attention to the breath without controlling it. Does anyone have any tips for not controlling the breath?

thanks

Ok ok...just count your breaths at first. Concentrate on that...you will simply just see your mind trying to interfere. As you notice that, just ignore the thoughts and let them fall away. Get back to counting breaths.

Don't do anything else...this is your foundation...without it, nothing else works! When it starts working, then you will be able to tell me what comes next

[rara]

I think my question still stands though - is it a sort of passive awareness that we should be aiming for, noticing along the way? Or more of an active concentration?

Active concentration first...always! Don't jump the gun

Imagine learning any other new skill - an instrument, or to drive. The same procedure applies!

[Gareth]

Breath counting is a good one. I used to do that a long time ago, as I was getting into my practice.

I used to count them from 1 to 10, but if ever I noticed that I was thinking, I would go back to number 1 again. So in that way there was kind of a 'focus' in getting to 10 every time. It was so hard at first to get to 10 without thinking of something, but I found that I got better and better at this as time went on.

In general though, I think it's important to try not to force it too much. We can easily start to judge ourselves when we aren't achieving the level of focus that we think is right. Perceiving our senses is something that we can all do naturally without any effort.

[rara]

^yes...if you only make it to, say 4, shrug it off and carry on. It's just personal practice at the end of the day^

Alternatively, continue to 10 (or I do 9) and just remind yourself when you notice yourself go off track.