What is Kindness and is it important in Mindfulness practice

[mind_well_being]

Hey all,

I'm new to the forum, but thought I would pose a question and see what people's musings were on the topic?

I'm always interested to find out what people think of as kindness and how it can be incorporated into Mindfulness practice, if at all...

To get things started, I have always noticed how people feel very able to express when they genuinely feel that someone else has done something kind for them, but it's far more risky to talk about when we have done something kind for someone else, is this just a British thing? I always find it a very useful Mindfulness practice to notice what happens when I try to do something kind for myself or someone else. Paying close attention to what might stop me from doing it and what supports me when doing it, I find this helps to become more familiar with my mind.

One example that comes to mind is in my own Mindfulness practice is when I feel that I'm not meditating well-enough, and that I'm trying too hard... over time I have learnt that this is a perfect opportunity to be gentle and accepting of my own experience, even saying a few kind phrases to myself. By just resting and gently exploring this space of mild anxiety, I find that I have more peace through the rest of the day, even if it doesn't always feel the easiest in the moment. Is this what we would call a moment of kindness....

Does anyone have any of their own examples of anecdotes that they might like to share, both in formal Mindfulness practice or in everyday life?

Wishing everyone a happy day!

Mike x

[JonW]

Hello Mike.
Welcome to the forum.
Excellent questions.
In mindfulness, self-compassion and compassion for others seem to go hand in hand.
And mindfulness can definitely help clarify what kindness is and how it manifests. If I've learned anything from mindfulness it's that true kindness is offered without a second thought, purely for its own sake, without any thought of receiving anything in return, even a thank you. By being kinder to ourselves, we seem to become naturally kinder to others.
The loving-kindness meditation is a core part of the 8-week course. There's some very inspiring comments on the subject to be found in other threads on this forum.
All good things,
Jon, Hove

[Gareth]

One example of where I have used kindness is with my pet cat, towards the end of his life.

He was getting increasingly smelly and annoying, constantly pawing and dribbling on me. I used to find myself reacting automatically, pushing him away in annoyance as he sat down on the computer keyboard, while I was trying to work.

I worked with my annoyance and whenever the cat turned up, I tried to replace those thoughts with ones of kindness and love which were already beneath the veneer of annoyance.

I think it worked out better for me and the cat. Bless him. He went to meet his maker a couple of weeks ago.

[BioSattva]

Hi Mike,

As Jon said - kindness seems to have charity at it's core - the 'reward' is that warm feeling we get, and nothing more.

I think we are being kind to ourselves by not tempting our egos into trying to manipulate our impressions of who we are in the eyes of others - "Hi, I am a kind person" - there is something very potentially manipulative there it seems. Sharing and resource distribution seem to be key areas where humans need honesty and truth - actions very much need to speak louder than words.

When meditating I often need to be kind to myself by giving my body the gift of a gentle 'inner smile' - there is something in my 'story' that can tell me I have not earnt it or that I do not deserve it - and yet I am probably having those thoughts because my body is not smiling(!) .

Thanks for this thread. Compassion - especially for oneself is the most difficult practice, I find.

[larorra]

Compassion is something I have been working on for the past couple of weeks, compassion towards myself, as I have always been very self-criticial, compassion to others, (in particular a very trying family member!) Instead of feeling angry and irritated by their actions i am trying to be more compassionate and see what their situation, imagine what they are going through to make them behave the way they do,, I am feeling better in myself by feeling compassion instead of anger, it not always works, but I am continuing to work on these tactics and it is helping alot.

[larorra]

One example of where I have used kindness is with my pet cat, towards the end of his life.

He was getting increasingly smelly and annoying, constantly pawing and dribbling on me. I used to find myself reacting automatically, pushing him away in annoyance as he sat down on the computer keyboard, while I was trying to work.

I worked with my annoyance and whenever the cat turned up, I tried to replace those thoughts with ones of kindness and love which were already beneath the veneer of annoyance.

I think it worked out better for me and the cat. Bless him. He went to meet his maker a couple of weeks ago.

Gareth, I was just the same as you with my last dog, who became very incontinent in his last few months and I felt annoyance having to clean up after him every day, that was a few years ago before I found mindfulness, I think that now when my dog comes to an age that she needs extra care, i will feel more compassionate towards her, thanks to mindfulness.

[rara]

Hey all,

I'm new to the forum, but thought I would pose a question and see what people's musings were on the topic?

I'm always interested to find out what people think of as kindness and how it can be incorporated into Mindfulness practice, if at all...

To get things started, I have always noticed how people feel very able to express when they genuinely feel that someone else has done something kind for them, but it's far more risky to talk about when we have done something kind for someone else, is this just a British thing? I always find it a very useful Mindfulness practice to notice what happens when I try to do something kind for myself or someone else. Paying close attention to what might stop me from doing it and what supports me when doing it, I find this helps to become more familiar with my mind.

One example that comes to mind is in my own Mindfulness practice is when I feel that I'm not meditating well-enough, and that I'm trying too hard... over time I have learnt that this is a perfect opportunity to be gentle and accepting of my own experience, even saying a few kind phrases to myself. By just resting and gently exploring this space of mild anxiety, I find that I have more peace through the rest of the day, even if it doesn't always feel the easiest in the moment. Is this what we would call a moment of kindness....

Does anyone have any of their own examples of anecdotes that they might like to share, both in formal Mindfulness practice or in everyday life?

Wishing everyone a happy day!

Mike x

Haha, "trying too hard" is very evident by your whole post!

Just be you...sounds like you worry too much! You seem like a lovely dude already without so much concern.

Your meditation example is very true though